You Might Be A Redneck If.....
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02-28-2003, 02:33 PM
#30
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Ft Myers
Posts: 353
1. if your porch collapses and more then 2 dogs are killed.
2. your belt buckel cost more then your wedding ring
3. you go to the family reunion to meet women
4. at christmas time you stand under the mistle toe waiting for granny and cousin sue ellen to come by
5. someone asks for your ID and you point at your belt buckel
You've been married three times
and still have the same in-laws
You think TACO BELL is
the Mexican Phone Company
Your state's got a new law that says when a couple
get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister
You got stopped by a state trooper.
He asked you if you had an I.D.
And you said, 'Bout What?'
what nascar stands for
Non
Athletic
Sport
Created
Around
Rednecks
You think Genitalia is an Italian airline
You think a stock tip is advice on worming' your hogs
Your sister is the third generation
of women in your family to conceive
a baby as a result of an alien abduction
If you can burp
and say your name at the same time,
you're shur'nuff a redneck
You think Possum is
"The Other White Meat"
You think Sherlock Holmes is a
housing project down in Biloxi.
You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
You hooked up with your present girlfriend
as a result of a message on the wall of
the mens' room at the Flying J Truck Stop.
The centerpiece on your dining room table
is an original signed work
by a famous taxidermist.
You think a quarter horse is
a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
Your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.
You think safe sex is a padded headboard
Taking your wife on a cruise
means circling the Dairy Queen.
You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida
You think the last words to
The Star Spangled Banner are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."
You believe dual air bags refer
to your wife and mother-in-law.
You've got more than
one brother named 'Darryl'.
You think the OJ Trial was a
Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
You were acquitted for murdering
your first wife after she threw
out your Elvis 8-tracks.
Your grandfather died and left everything to his widow.
But she can't touch it until she's fourteen.
Your kids take a siphon hose
to "Show and Tell."
thats all for now if you want more i have them
2. your belt buckel cost more then your wedding ring
3. you go to the family reunion to meet women
4. at christmas time you stand under the mistle toe waiting for granny and cousin sue ellen to come by
5. someone asks for your ID and you point at your belt buckel
You've been married three times
and still have the same in-laws
You think TACO BELL is
the Mexican Phone Company
Your state's got a new law that says when a couple
get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister
You got stopped by a state trooper.
He asked you if you had an I.D.
And you said, 'Bout What?'
what nascar stands for
Non
Athletic
Sport
Created
Around
Rednecks
You think Genitalia is an Italian airline
You think a stock tip is advice on worming' your hogs
Your sister is the third generation
of women in your family to conceive
a baby as a result of an alien abduction
If you can burp
and say your name at the same time,
you're shur'nuff a redneck
You think Possum is
"The Other White Meat"
You think Sherlock Holmes is a
housing project down in Biloxi.
You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
You hooked up with your present girlfriend
as a result of a message on the wall of
the mens' room at the Flying J Truck Stop.
The centerpiece on your dining room table
is an original signed work
by a famous taxidermist.
You think a quarter horse is
a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
Your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.
You think safe sex is a padded headboard
Taking your wife on a cruise
means circling the Dairy Queen.
You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida
You think the last words to
The Star Spangled Banner are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."
You believe dual air bags refer
to your wife and mother-in-law.
You've got more than
one brother named 'Darryl'.
You think the OJ Trial was a
Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
You were acquitted for murdering
your first wife after she threw
out your Elvis 8-tracks.
Your grandfather died and left everything to his widow.
But she can't touch it until she's fourteen.
Your kids take a siphon hose
to "Show and Tell."
thats all for now if you want more i have them