these are the kind of people we are
#13
David: all foods should be dispensed via applicator
btw I came up with another business idea
this one is gold
pure gold
me: werd
David: it's a resturant
me: go on
David: tenteively titled: The Feeding Tube
me: I'm intrigued
and nauseated
David: as you should be.
me: continue
David: ok
no cook staff or wait staff required
me: I hope there are tubes
David: literally the "kitchen" is a large warehouse
filled with vats of puree'd foods
me: I'm in love already
David: you sit at your table
you choose from a touch screen menu
and the food is instantly pumped to you via your own tube
lt's like cable tv
but for your stomach
me: awesome
do you swallow the tube and have it pumped into your stomach, or just eat from the tube?
David: just stick it in your mouth
me: investors want to know these sorts of things
David: I'm think of making like a little adjustable strappy thing
so your hands are free
me: hands free?
David: yes
me: awesome
David: there will be a **** that you can control the rate at which your meal paste is delivered
me: nice, that was my next question, we don't need asploded faces
David: they'll sign a waiver
that'll be the majority of the staff
lawyers
or at least paralegals
me: how about a drive-in style layout
David: I like
me: drive in, tube lands in window, pump and go
David: eventually I'd like to branch out
in conjunction with sewage
maybe we can buy up some of their lines
me: good good
David: and eventually we can do the whole delivery thing
all they'd have to do is pay for our guy to drive out there and install a home tube
me: totally worth whatever cost you're asking
David: 19.95 initial
6 months later we jack it up to 99.99
me: this too, like cable
David: yeah
same business model
we can start as a breakfast place
oatmeal
that'll be easy
me: nice and easy
cereal premixed with milk wouldn't be too bad either
David: yeah
we could just take a paint mixer in there and gets it all mushed up
me: yes
David: I'm thinking we hit up the soy market pretty early too
get the hipsters in there
me: is soy a liquid?
I get confused between soy sauce and tofu
David: it can be
me: maybe mix the 2 together?
David: we'll mix the two
yes
me: yes!
David: I'm gonna make you mayor of ideas for this company too
me: I'll gladly accept your offer
David: you shall recieve no compensation until we turn a profit
like personal injury lawyers
and they're rich
so, deal
me: I can deal with being rich
btw I came up with another business idea
this one is gold
pure gold
me: werd
David: it's a resturant
me: go on
David: tenteively titled: The Feeding Tube
me: I'm intrigued
and nauseated
David: as you should be.
me: continue
David: ok
no cook staff or wait staff required
me: I hope there are tubes
David: literally the "kitchen" is a large warehouse
filled with vats of puree'd foods
me: I'm in love already
David: you sit at your table
you choose from a touch screen menu
and the food is instantly pumped to you via your own tube
lt's like cable tv
but for your stomach
me: awesome
do you swallow the tube and have it pumped into your stomach, or just eat from the tube?
David: just stick it in your mouth
me: investors want to know these sorts of things
David: I'm think of making like a little adjustable strappy thing
so your hands are free
me: hands free?
David: yes
me: awesome
David: there will be a **** that you can control the rate at which your meal paste is delivered
me: nice, that was my next question, we don't need asploded faces
David: they'll sign a waiver
that'll be the majority of the staff
lawyers
or at least paralegals
me: how about a drive-in style layout
David: I like
me: drive in, tube lands in window, pump and go
David: eventually I'd like to branch out
in conjunction with sewage
maybe we can buy up some of their lines
me: good good
David: and eventually we can do the whole delivery thing
all they'd have to do is pay for our guy to drive out there and install a home tube
me: totally worth whatever cost you're asking
David: 19.95 initial
6 months later we jack it up to 99.99
me: this too, like cable
David: yeah
same business model
we can start as a breakfast place
oatmeal
that'll be easy
me: nice and easy
cereal premixed with milk wouldn't be too bad either
David: yeah
we could just take a paint mixer in there and gets it all mushed up
me: yes
David: I'm thinking we hit up the soy market pretty early too
get the hipsters in there
me: is soy a liquid?
I get confused between soy sauce and tofu
David: it can be
me: maybe mix the 2 together?
David: we'll mix the two
yes
me: yes!
David: I'm gonna make you mayor of ideas for this company too
me: I'll gladly accept your offer
David: you shall recieve no compensation until we turn a profit
like personal injury lawyers
and they're rich
so, deal
me: I can deal with being rich
#15
I just told David I post our conversations on here:
David:
if I run into a feedtube-based resturant in exas one day...
I swear to god I'll murder you
*texas
me: haha
only texas though
David: yes
me: not any other state
David: of course
David:
if I run into a feedtube-based resturant in exas one day...
I swear to god I'll murder you
*texas
me: haha
only texas though
David: yes
me: not any other state
David: of course
#17
today's e-mail chain:
from: David
to: John, Patrick (me), Charles
Hey John, just to let you know, I poked you on facebook. Just letting you know.
from: John
to: Patrick, Charles, David
not sure what that means, should I feel violated?
from: David
to: John, Patrick, Charles
That depends on a number of factors. I’ll see you later tonight and we’ll talk it out over some coffee.
from: Patrick (me)
to: David, John, Charles
I was not sure if you fellows were aware, so if you have already learned this bit of helpful information, I apologize. But every time you click “Reply to All”, you message is sent to every one else that the original message was intended for. It is not safe to assume all who the original message was intended for would indeed enjoy your conversation regarding you boinking each other, or whatever it is the kids call it these days. It may benefit you to, instead, click the “Reply” button, which will only send your message to the sender, rather than everyone the original message was intended for.
Please be mindful of this in the future, and thank you for your consideration. I will see you all at the annual company mud-wrestling picnic, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me in person.
from: David
to: John, Patrick, Charles
So anyway.. John, what’s the deal with that Patrick guy? God I can’t freaking stand that guy. His butt is the dumbest looking butt I’ve ever seen.
from: John
to: Patrick, Charles, David
I just wanted witnesses to see that any inappropriate actions were initiated by David
from: David
to: Patrick, John, Charles
I look forward to the day that this email thread will be instrumental in the destruction of my political career.
from: Patrick
to: David, Charles, John
I think, in your case, it may be more beneficial to just produce an absurd amount of material that makes you look bad, so you can claim it was your dissenters making you look bad.
from: David
to: Patrick, John, Charles
I survive completely on puppy meat. Seriously. I’ve never felt healthier. I think basically I’m absorbing their powers by eating them. I know it seems crazy, but it works. What can I say. I support North Korea.
[quote name=Charles]
from: Charles
to: David, Patrick, John
Gentlemen, I really appreciate the level of professionalism exhibited by all of you.[/quote]
from: David
to: John, Patrick (me), Charles
Hey John, just to let you know, I poked you on facebook. Just letting you know.
from: John
to: Patrick, Charles, David
not sure what that means, should I feel violated?
from: David
to: John, Patrick, Charles
That depends on a number of factors. I’ll see you later tonight and we’ll talk it out over some coffee.
from: Patrick (me)
to: David, John, Charles
I was not sure if you fellows were aware, so if you have already learned this bit of helpful information, I apologize. But every time you click “Reply to All”, you message is sent to every one else that the original message was intended for. It is not safe to assume all who the original message was intended for would indeed enjoy your conversation regarding you boinking each other, or whatever it is the kids call it these days. It may benefit you to, instead, click the “Reply” button, which will only send your message to the sender, rather than everyone the original message was intended for.
Please be mindful of this in the future, and thank you for your consideration. I will see you all at the annual company mud-wrestling picnic, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me in person.
from: David
to: John, Patrick, Charles
So anyway.. John, what’s the deal with that Patrick guy? God I can’t freaking stand that guy. His butt is the dumbest looking butt I’ve ever seen.
from: John
to: Patrick, Charles, David
I just wanted witnesses to see that any inappropriate actions were initiated by David
from: David
to: Patrick, John, Charles
I look forward to the day that this email thread will be instrumental in the destruction of my political career.
from: Patrick
to: David, Charles, John
I think, in your case, it may be more beneficial to just produce an absurd amount of material that makes you look bad, so you can claim it was your dissenters making you look bad.
from: David
to: Patrick, John, Charles
I survive completely on puppy meat. Seriously. I’ve never felt healthier. I think basically I’m absorbing their powers by eating them. I know it seems crazy, but it works. What can I say. I support North Korea.
from: Charles
to: David, Patrick, John
Gentlemen, I really appreciate the level of professionalism exhibited by all of you.[/quote]
#20
me: my uncle would do this stupid joke
he'd say "you're a one"
and you would reply "you're a two"
so let's do this
you're a one
(there's a punchline eventually)
David: no, you are
dick.
wait
are you callin gme a name?
let's start over
me: ok
you're a one
David: grrrrr
hold on
me: wait wait
David: it makes me mad almost instantly
me: I think we're doing it wrong
don't worry, we won't make it to 10
you're a one
David: you're a two.
me: you're a three
David: you're a four
me: you're a five
David: you're a six (im getting really angry)
me: you're a seven
David: you're an eight.
me: URINATE!!! GET IT????
David: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he'd say "you're a one"
and you would reply "you're a two"
so let's do this
you're a one
(there's a punchline eventually)
David: no, you are
dick.
wait
are you callin gme a name?
let's start over
me: ok
you're a one
David: grrrrr
hold on
me: wait wait
David: it makes me mad almost instantly
me: I think we're doing it wrong
don't worry, we won't make it to 10
you're a one
David: you're a two.
me: you're a three
David: you're a four
me: you're a five
David: you're a six (im getting really angry)
me: you're a seven
David: you're an eight.
me: URINATE!!! GET IT????
David: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!