Work Related Funnies.
04-11-2004, 02:17 AM
#11
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Tulsa, OK
Posts: 3,346
Originally Posted by Jims5543' date='Apr 10 2004, 10:02 PM
I own a Land Surveying company for those of you that dont know.
We were swamped at work so I grabbed a guy some extra equipment and went out in the field with this guy so we could bang out a few jobs to get caught up.
I am in the middle of the road and a little sport ute pulls up. Like one of those Honda CRV's. The guy rolls down his window and says "Hey, come here a second" I walk over to his car and lok in. Its a dude in his 50's and his wife is about 25 with giant fake ones. (found out later she is an ex stripper) anyway. He says to me. "Look, I own a small surveying company in town, (hands me a business card) I need some side help. I am looking for a couple of crews to use their own trucks and equipment, your boss doesn't even have to know".
I stare at him for about 10 seconds just looing into his eye. I had never seen a sneeky unethical ******* close up so I thought I would get a good look.
I smile from ear to are thrust out my hand and intruduce my self. "Hi! I'm Jim I OWN Atlantic Land Design."
Talk about an "Oh **** what did I just do" face. He intruduced himself and his wife (nice) and proceeded to try to get away from me as fast as he could.
We were swamped at work so I grabbed a guy some extra equipment and went out in the field with this guy so we could bang out a few jobs to get caught up.
I am in the middle of the road and a little sport ute pulls up. Like one of those Honda CRV's. The guy rolls down his window and says "Hey, come here a second" I walk over to his car and lok in. Its a dude in his 50's and his wife is about 25 with giant fake ones. (found out later she is an ex stripper) anyway. He says to me. "Look, I own a small surveying company in town, (hands me a business card) I need some side help. I am looking for a couple of crews to use their own trucks and equipment, your boss doesn't even have to know".
I stare at him for about 10 seconds just looing into his eye. I had never seen a sneeky unethical ******* close up so I thought I would get a good look.
I smile from ear to are thrust out my hand and intruduce my self. "Hi! I'm Jim I OWN Atlantic Land Design."
Talk about an "Oh **** what did I just do" face. He intruduced himself and his wife (nice) and proceeded to try to get away from me as fast as he could.
One of my most funny moments at work was surveying of course. You sorta had to be there to find it amusing too. But me and another guy were doing beach profiles on some Island near Wilmington. Had to take a boat there, get dropped off, and then carry way too much **** about 2 miles down this deserted island. It was cold at the time, so one of the guys at work said he had a wet suit for me to wear that he had when he was younger. He was built about like me so I figured sure what the heck that will be nice, cause I really hated swimming those lines freezing my ***** off. We get ready to shoot some lines and I begin to put this suit on. Needless to say we were scratching out heads trying to figure out how young this guy was when he wore the suit, cause I couldn't get in the damn thing. I was literally on the beach on my back while my partner yanked on the arms and legs trying to squeeze me in. Couldn't even zipper up the chest all the way. We laughed so hard I thought I was gona throw up (had to be there to get the picture really). Worse part was I had to walk all the way back down the island the rest of the day. And once I got in the water I was scared I wasn't going to be able to swim, cause I could barely move. I was sore for a week afterwards from all the "tight" walking I did that day.
Another classic moment that i'll never forget. Same guy and I were working in the Nuke plant setting up base plates for radioactive shielding. All sorts of important ******** around watching over us. First plate we setup one of the guys that was inspecting our work says "my level says this plate isn't level". He has a carpenters level in his hand. He just keeps on and on trying to give us **** about the damn thing. Finally JR. (guy that was my party chief), looks him right in the face and says "my level cost $2000, how much did your level cost?" Shut that guy up in a hurry.
04-11-2004, 02:32 AM
#12
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 5,547
Originally Posted by 94touring' date='Apr 11 2004, 02:17 AM
Finally JR. (guy that was my party chief), looks him right in the face and says "my level cost $2000, how much did your level cost?" Shut that guy up in a hurry. 
04-11-2004, 07:09 AM
#13
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: green brook, nj
Posts: 792
here, i got one. i work at blockbuster video. When you walk in the store..there is a big ******* red sign that says "Movies to buy". But for some reason, ever person that walks in still asks if we sell movies. I just point to the sign now after working there for over 2 years.
Next thign was some lady comes up to me and asked if we had spy game. I look it up(this is when it first came out) I replyed, yes ms, we have 150 copies on the shelf, you can't find any?...and she said no! ?? so I just pointed to them from the counter.
Next thign was some lady comes up to me and asked if we had spy game. I look it up(this is when it first came out) I replyed, yes ms, we have 150 copies on the shelf, you can't find any?...and she said no! ?? so I just pointed to them from the counter.
04-11-2004, 11:19 AM
#14
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: California
Posts: 22,465
Originally Posted by Srce' date='Apr 10 2004, 08:32 PM
A week ago the owner of the dealership I work for goes into the used-car parking lot and finds that the trunk an Olds Intrigue won't close, so he tells me to drive it into our service dept. (which was closed at this time) and put a note on the windshield.
Note read:
"Fix Trunk, Won't Close."
I get to work the next day and a clerk of the service dept. laughs at me and says, "Of course it needs fixing since it won't close, next time try and be a bit more specific with your note."
Hmm, what an ******* huh? Well last night same **** again, we find a Merc Sable with some minor body damage on the pass. side doors. Since we don't do body work, we send the cars to our body shop a few miles south west of us. But, nontheless we have to leave the cars in the service dept.'s area which was closed again (closes at 6 PM weekdays) and of course I need to leave another note for the clerk who was the only one to be there that morning.
This note read:
"Hey Tom, there's body damage on the right side of this Maroon 02 Mercury Sable probably caused yesterday by your mom's *** when she bought and returned it since the drivers seat won't move 6 feet back for her to be able to comfortably get in and out of the car."
Needless to say, he didn't say Hi to me this morning. But that's okay, a few mechanics saw the note when the came to work today. LOL
Note read:
"Fix Trunk, Won't Close."
I get to work the next day and a clerk of the service dept. laughs at me and says, "Of course it needs fixing since it won't close, next time try and be a bit more specific with your note."
Hmm, what an ******* huh? Well last night same **** again, we find a Merc Sable with some minor body damage on the pass. side doors. Since we don't do body work, we send the cars to our body shop a few miles south west of us. But, nontheless we have to leave the cars in the service dept.'s area which was closed again (closes at 6 PM weekdays) and of course I need to leave another note for the clerk who was the only one to be there that morning.
This note read:
"Hey Tom, there's body damage on the right side of this Maroon 02 Mercury Sable probably caused yesterday by your mom's *** when she bought and returned it since the drivers seat won't move 6 feet back for her to be able to comfortably get in and out of the car."
Needless to say, he didn't say Hi to me this morning. But that's okay, a few mechanics saw the note when the came to work today. LOL
i got one my auto shop teacher told us from when he worked at a porsche shop.
they had gotten in trouble for fixing more than what was on the repair order. so the guy said only do what was on the ro. mr brandt pulls in a car, looks at the ro, it says "whistle at alternator" so he did and then parked it....
04-11-2004, 11:36 AM
#15
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Mike is a Liar!
Posts: 4,848
I was workin at my Bro's Key shop..
it says "INGLEWOOD LOCK AND KEY"
it is the shop in the picture.
So people always come up and Ask.. "Do you make keys here?"
I say "No we just have a sign and price on the window so I can fool people to walk over and sell them a soda instead."
Or they walk up and ask for matches..
"Does this look like a gas station to you?" is my reply
maybe its just funny to me cuz I am an *******..!
Or they would get mad cuz I would not give them a discount on some keys.. SO they ask to speak with the manager.. so I say ok wait here.. I run to the back of the shop.. and come back out.. "Yes what can i do for you....?" hahaha..
it says "INGLEWOOD LOCK AND KEY"
it is the shop in the picture.
So people always come up and Ask.. "Do you make keys here?"
I say "No we just have a sign and price on the window so I can fool people to walk over and sell them a soda instead."
Or they walk up and ask for matches..
"Does this look like a gas station to you?" is my reply
Or they would get mad cuz I would not give them a discount on some keys.. SO they ask to speak with the manager.. so I say ok wait here.. I run to the back of the shop.. and come back out.. "Yes what can i do for you....?" hahaha..
04-11-2004, 11:50 AM
#16
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: California
Posts: 22,465
Originally Posted by 75 Repu' date='Apr 11 2004, 08:36 AM
I was workin at my Bro's Key shop..
it says "INGLEWOOD LOCK AND KEY"
it is the shop in the picture.
So people always come up and Ask.. "Do you make keys here?"
I say "No we just have a sign and price on the window so I can fool people to walk over and sell them a soda instead."
Or they walk up and ask for matches..
"Does this look like a gas station to you?" is my reply
maybe its just funny to me cuz I am an *******..!
Or they would get mad cuz I would not give them a discount on some keys.. SO they ask to speak with the manager.. so I say ok wait here.. I run to the back of the shop.. and come back out.. "Yes what can i do for you....?" hahaha..
it says "INGLEWOOD LOCK AND KEY"
it is the shop in the picture.
So people always come up and Ask.. "Do you make keys here?"
I say "No we just have a sign and price on the window so I can fool people to walk over and sell them a soda instead."
Or they walk up and ask for matches..
"Does this look like a gas station to you?" is my reply
Or they would get mad cuz I would not give them a discount on some keys.. SO they ask to speak with the manager.. so I say ok wait here.. I run to the back of the shop.. and come back out.. "Yes what can i do for you....?" hahaha..
04-11-2004, 11:56 AM
#18
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: London, Ontario
Posts: 2,871
Originally Posted by Jims5543' date='Apr 11 2004, 01:02 AM
Its a dude in his 50's and his wife is about 25 with giant fake ones. (found out later she is an ex stripper) anyway.
04-11-2004, 12:11 PM
#20
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: California
Posts: 22,465
Originally Posted by TYSON' date='Apr 11 2004, 08:56 AM
You make this sound like a bad thing?