Work Related Funnies.
04-10-2004, 11:32 PM
#1
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 5,547
A week ago the owner of the dealership I work for goes into the used-car parking lot and finds that the trunk an Olds Intrigue won't close, so he tells me to drive it into our service dept. (which was closed at this time) and put a note on the windshield.
Note read:
"Fix Trunk, Won't Close."
I get to work the next day and a clerk of the service dept. laughs at me and says, "Of course it needs fixing since it won't close, next time try and be a bit more specific with your note."
Hmm, what an ******* huh? Well last night same **** again, we find a Merc Sable with some minor body damage on the pass. side doors. Since we don't do body work, we send the cars to our body shop a few miles south west of us. But, nontheless we have to leave the cars in the service dept.'s area which was closed again (closes at 6 PM weekdays) and of course I need to leave another note for the clerk who was the only one to be there that morning.
This note read:
"Hey Tom, there's body damage on the right side of this Maroon 02 Mercury Sable probably caused yesterday by your mom's *** when she bought and returned it since the drivers seat won't move 6 feet back for her to be able to comfortably get in and out of the car."
Needless to say, he didn't say Hi to me this morning. But that's okay, a few mechanics saw the note when the came to work today. LOL
Note read:
"Fix Trunk, Won't Close."
I get to work the next day and a clerk of the service dept. laughs at me and says, "Of course it needs fixing since it won't close, next time try and be a bit more specific with your note."
Hmm, what an ******* huh? Well last night same **** again, we find a Merc Sable with some minor body damage on the pass. side doors. Since we don't do body work, we send the cars to our body shop a few miles south west of us. But, nontheless we have to leave the cars in the service dept.'s area which was closed again (closes at 6 PM weekdays) and of course I need to leave another note for the clerk who was the only one to be there that morning.
This note read:
"Hey Tom, there's body damage on the right side of this Maroon 02 Mercury Sable probably caused yesterday by your mom's *** when she bought and returned it since the drivers seat won't move 6 feet back for her to be able to comfortably get in and out of the car."
Needless to say, he didn't say Hi to me this morning. But that's okay, a few mechanics saw the note when the came to work today. LOL
04-11-2004, 12:09 AM
#5
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 5,547
Originally Posted by Eyxom' date='Apr 10 2004, 11:55 PM
Haha nice...
I don't really have any funny work stories, but I've had some SERIOUSLY STUPID QUESTIONS from customers while I was on the job.
I don't really have any funny work stories, but I've had some SERIOUSLY STUPID QUESTIONS from customers while I was on the job.
04-11-2004, 12:32 AM
#6
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Port St. Lucie, FL
Posts: 638
This one comes from CIRCUIT CITY:
A man that had to have been in his late 50's, walks up to me and asks "Do you have a mailbox? I need to mail this letter..." I could not help myself. I replied "No but you might want to try the post office. I hear they have mailboxes."
Pines Ice Arena:
I was a skate guard at this ice skating rink. We worked the skate rental and on the ice. This woman walks up and asks me "Is this the skate rental?" Once again, I couldn't keep my mouth shut. "No... The walls were bare so we decided to decorate them with these racks of 200 skates each. Oh and the painted 'skate rental' sign above me is used to trick customers into thinking this is in fact the skate rental."
If had a dollar for everytime someone asked me a retarded *** question at Pines Ice Arena I'd be living large off of the interest alone. Here's another...
I'm in the skate room again... Directly across from me are the rentable lockers. I actually got this question a lot, but not quite this bad. Above the lockers is about a 3 ft tall by 10 ft wide sign that says "$1.00 coin lockers". This younger man comes up to me and asks "where are your lockers and how much are they?" Me: ".... Behind you.. and something is telling me that they're a dollar in quarters, but that's just a guess." "Can you give me change?" Me: "No but this nice change machine located 2 feet to my right will be more than happy to help you with that."
One more:
Pines Ice is basically a long hallway with an ice rink on either side of it. At the very end of the hall are the restrooms. Denoting that is where they're located, is a very large sign reading "RESTROOMS" spanning the ENTIRE wall. From before you enter the building you can read it. Hell, NASA can probably pick it up on radar it's so big. Not only that, but on either side of the RESTROOMS, there is a silhouette of a hockey player, and a figure skater drawn on which entrance is the mens and the womens. This one lady walks in, looking straight ahead the whole time. Comes to the skate rental (located 12 feet from the restrooms might I add) and asks me where our bathrooms are. I was actually pretty nice this time. "They're to my right ma'am." She looks over, sees the sign, and gets this look like "holy crap I can't believe I missed that." She walks BACK over to me about 2 minutes later and asks "Which one is the female side?" I couldn't help it. "I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm going to guess the female figure skater. Don't hold it to me though. You never can tell nowadays."
Proving my theory that stupid people shouldn't reproduce...
A man that had to have been in his late 50's, walks up to me and asks "Do you have a mailbox? I need to mail this letter..." I could not help myself. I replied "No but you might want to try the post office. I hear they have mailboxes."
Pines Ice Arena:
I was a skate guard at this ice skating rink. We worked the skate rental and on the ice. This woman walks up and asks me "Is this the skate rental?" Once again, I couldn't keep my mouth shut. "No... The walls were bare so we decided to decorate them with these racks of 200 skates each. Oh and the painted 'skate rental' sign above me is used to trick customers into thinking this is in fact the skate rental."
If had a dollar for everytime someone asked me a retarded *** question at Pines Ice Arena I'd be living large off of the interest alone. Here's another...
I'm in the skate room again... Directly across from me are the rentable lockers. I actually got this question a lot, but not quite this bad. Above the lockers is about a 3 ft tall by 10 ft wide sign that says "$1.00 coin lockers". This younger man comes up to me and asks "where are your lockers and how much are they?" Me: ".... Behind you.. and something is telling me that they're a dollar in quarters, but that's just a guess." "Can you give me change?" Me: "No but this nice change machine located 2 feet to my right will be more than happy to help you with that."
One more:
Pines Ice is basically a long hallway with an ice rink on either side of it. At the very end of the hall are the restrooms. Denoting that is where they're located, is a very large sign reading "RESTROOMS" spanning the ENTIRE wall. From before you enter the building you can read it. Hell, NASA can probably pick it up on radar it's so big. Not only that, but on either side of the RESTROOMS, there is a silhouette of a hockey player, and a figure skater drawn on which entrance is the mens and the womens. This one lady walks in, looking straight ahead the whole time. Comes to the skate rental (located 12 feet from the restrooms might I add) and asks me where our bathrooms are. I was actually pretty nice this time. "They're to my right ma'am." She looks over, sees the sign, and gets this look like "holy crap I can't believe I missed that." She walks BACK over to me about 2 minutes later and asks "Which one is the female side?" I couldn't help it. "I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm going to guess the female figure skater. Don't hold it to me though. You never can tell nowadays."
04-11-2004, 12:45 AM
#7
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Columbia IL/St. Louis MO
Posts: 2,748
Haha.
I will share some from wal-mart.
Lady:"Excuse me sir, but do you work here?"
Me:"Nope I wear this blue smock and this name badge that says Justin on it for my own personal pleasure."
Man:"Excuse me sir, do you have the keys for the DVD's"
Me"Yes!" (I then proceed to walk away)
At least when I worked at wal-mart I worked in electronics. That was at least half decent.
And now my current job:
Mechanic:"Rotary Powered Car? What is that? What is it a V6?"
Me:"If I explained it to you, you would look at me like I had 5 heads.""A rotary powered car usually has two rotors, two rotor housings, a center plate, and two other plates,an eccentric shaft,a lower intake manifold and an upper intake manifold. Mine is a 6 port N/A engine."
Mechanic:"So it IS a V6?"
Me:"Yes. Yes it is a V6."
Granted, not many people know about rotary engines, but this guy was a ******* mechanic.
One more:
Mechanic:"A rotary engine is just a rubberband engine. Ain't **** holding that thing together."
Me:"How so? Could you explain?" He walked away after that.
IDIOTS!! They ask a question but don't want the answers.
I will share some from wal-mart.
Lady:"Excuse me sir, but do you work here?"
Me:"Nope I wear this blue smock and this name badge that says Justin on it for my own personal pleasure."
Man:"Excuse me sir, do you have the keys for the DVD's"
Me"Yes!" (I then proceed to walk away)
At least when I worked at wal-mart I worked in electronics. That was at least half decent.
And now my current job:
Mechanic:"Rotary Powered Car? What is that? What is it a V6?"
Me:"If I explained it to you, you would look at me like I had 5 heads.""A rotary powered car usually has two rotors, two rotor housings, a center plate, and two other plates,an eccentric shaft,a lower intake manifold and an upper intake manifold. Mine is a 6 port N/A engine."
Mechanic:"So it IS a V6?"
Me:"Yes. Yes it is a V6."
Granted, not many people know about rotary engines, but this guy was a ******* mechanic.
One more:
Mechanic:"A rotary engine is just a rubberband engine. Ain't **** holding that thing together."
Me:"How so? Could you explain?" He walked away after that.
IDIOTS!! They ask a question but don't want the answers.
04-11-2004, 01:02 AM
#9
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Jensen Beach, FL / Sylva, NC
Posts: 2,934
I own a Land Surveying company for those of you that dont know.
We were swamped at work so I grabbed a guy some extra equipment and went out in the field with this guy so we could bang out a few jobs to get caught up.
I am in the middle of the road and a little sport ute pulls up. Like one of those Honda CRV's. The guy rolls down his window and says "Hey, come here a second" I walk over to his car and lok in. Its a dude in his 50's and his wife is about 25 with giant fake ones. (found out later she is an ex stripper) anyway. He says to me. "Look, I own a small surveying company in town, (hands me a business card) I need some side help. I am looking for a couple of crews to use their own trucks and equipment, your boss doesn't even have to know".
I stare at him for about 10 seconds just looing into his eye. I had never seen a sneeky unethical ******* close up so I thought I would get a good look.
I smile from ear to are thrust out my hand and intruduce my self. "Hi! I'm Jim I OWN Atlantic Land Design."
Talk about an "Oh **** what did I just do" face. He intruduced himself and his wife (nice) and proceeded to try to get away from me as fast as he could.
We were swamped at work so I grabbed a guy some extra equipment and went out in the field with this guy so we could bang out a few jobs to get caught up.
I am in the middle of the road and a little sport ute pulls up. Like one of those Honda CRV's. The guy rolls down his window and says "Hey, come here a second" I walk over to his car and lok in. Its a dude in his 50's and his wife is about 25 with giant fake ones. (found out later she is an ex stripper) anyway. He says to me. "Look, I own a small surveying company in town, (hands me a business card) I need some side help. I am looking for a couple of crews to use their own trucks and equipment, your boss doesn't even have to know".
I stare at him for about 10 seconds just looing into his eye. I had never seen a sneeky unethical ******* close up so I thought I would get a good look.
I smile from ear to are thrust out my hand and intruduce my self. "Hi! I'm Jim I OWN Atlantic Land Design."
Talk about an "Oh **** what did I just do" face. He intruduced himself and his wife (nice) and proceeded to try to get away from me as fast as he could.