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What Do You Do In Public Bathrooms?
10-06-2003, 08:15 PM
#23
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by Jims5543' date='Oct 6 2003, 04:50 PM
I'll have to go with Squat and Hover Bill.
About a year ago we are at Point Orlando on International drive. We ate dinner walked over to FAO Schwartz then we window shopped. Suddenly dinner started to revolt inside me causing the most painfull intestinal cramps I had ever experianced. I told my wife I was heading to the bathroom. Public about 3 stalls and 2 urinals. I looked at the bowl and it was pretty funky. I decided this would be a Squat and Hover event. I pulled my shorts to my knees bent foward and squatted.
Just then a dude walks in and stands at the urinal. I am holding back forces of biblical proportions here. I am dying!! I dont want to let this go in a quiet bathroom with this dude standing there!! I formulated a quick plan. I decided to push it out as hard as I can right as he flushes the urinal. About 10 seconds after my decision to go with this plan (felt like 10 minutes) he flushed.... pushed with all my might....the sheer level of the volume of this *** explosion scared me and I was making it. It drowned out the sound of the urinal flushing. I heard the dude start laughing and wisely run out of the bathroom to aviod the fallout.
It took about a half a roll of toilet paper to clean up my ***. I stood up and turned around and started laughing hysterically out loud. I missed to bowl!! I decorated the plumbing and the wall. I have NEVER in my life seen anything like it SPAKLE is about the only way to descibe it. I was so proud of it I took my son back to show him. He was duly impressed I am his hero now.
Needless to say I would imagine no one used that stall for the rest of the night.
About a year ago we are at Point Orlando on International drive. We ate dinner walked over to FAO Schwartz then we window shopped. Suddenly dinner started to revolt inside me causing the most painfull intestinal cramps I had ever experianced. I told my wife I was heading to the bathroom. Public about 3 stalls and 2 urinals. I looked at the bowl and it was pretty funky. I decided this would be a Squat and Hover event. I pulled my shorts to my knees bent foward and squatted.
Just then a dude walks in and stands at the urinal. I am holding back forces of biblical proportions here. I am dying!! I dont want to let this go in a quiet bathroom with this dude standing there!! I formulated a quick plan. I decided to push it out as hard as I can right as he flushes the urinal. About 10 seconds after my decision to go with this plan (felt like 10 minutes) he flushed.... pushed with all my might....the sheer level of the volume of this *** explosion scared me and I was making it. It drowned out the sound of the urinal flushing. I heard the dude start laughing and wisely run out of the bathroom to aviod the fallout.
It took about a half a roll of toilet paper to clean up my ***. I stood up and turned around and started laughing hysterically out loud. I missed to bowl!! I decorated the plumbing and the wall. I have NEVER in my life seen anything like it SPAKLE is about the only way to descibe it. I was so proud of it I took my son back to show him. He was duly impressed I am his hero now.
Needless to say I would imagine no one used that stall for the rest of the night.
I've been tthere too (still laughing) man, I used to hodl ut back for awhile just that I thought it was embarassing, but this dude next door was sitting in a stall, and I guess he had the chicken terriaki too, because I could hear him moaning before he walked in the stall. Needless to say, after that all I could hear was a full fledged blow out, and with that, I chimed in as well. The dude was in his 40-50s and he was like, YEAH!! YOU SHOW EM! Ooooohh! I couldint stop laughing, which made it sound like I was backfiring cause well when you laugh your spincher tightens up, so all you could hear was cackling and pffttt!! dudadudaduda...pfffffffppppbbbt!! oh man.. A mans true element only comes out on the can..
10-06-2003, 08:20 PM
#24
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 4,985
Where's the '********** furiously while barking' option?
Oh, and you had an extra carriage return on the last option, so it made a blank choice. Unfortunatly, I cannot mod GenD, can't edit your poll....
Oh, and you had an extra carriage return on the last option, so it made a blank choice. Unfortunatly, I cannot mod GenD, can't edit your poll....
10-06-2003, 08:34 PM
#26
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Jensen Beach, FL / Sylva, NC
Posts: 2,934
Originally Posted by Mr. Ashe' date='Oct 6 2003, 08:15 PM
I've been tthere too (still laughing) man, I used to hodl ut back for awhile just that I thought it was embarassing, but this dude next door was sitting in a stall, and I guess he had the chicken terriaki too, because I could hear him moaning before he walked in the stall. Needless to say, after that all I could hear was a full fledged blow out, and with that, I chimed in as well. The dude was in his 40-50s and he was like, YEAH!! YOU SHOW EM! Ooooohh! I couldint stop laughing, which made it sound like I was backfiring cause well when you laugh your spincher tightens up, so all you could hear was cackling and pffttt!! dudadudaduda...pfffffffppppbbbt!! oh man.. A mans true element only comes out on the can..
10-06-2003, 08:47 PM
#27
Member
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Orlando, Florida
Posts: 72
Originally Posted by Jims5543' date='Oct 6 2003, 04:50 PM
I'll have to go with Squat and Hover Bill.
About a year ago we are at Point Orlando on International drive. We ate dinner walked over to FAO Schwartz then we window shopped. Suddenly dinner started to revolt inside me causing the most painfull intestinal cramps I had ever experianced. I told my wife I was heading to the bathroom. Public about 3 stalls and 2 urinals. I looked at the bowl and it was pretty funky. I decided this would be a Squat and Hover event. I pulled my shorts to my knees bent foward and squatted.
Just then a dude walks in and stands at the urinal. I am holding back forces of biblical proportions here. I am dying!! I dont want to let this go in a quiet bathroom with this dude standing there!! I formulated a quick plan. I decided to push it out as hard as I can right as he flushes the urinal. About 10 seconds after my decision to go with this plan (felt like 10 minutes) he flushed.... pushed with all my might....the sheer level of the volume of this *** explosion scared me and I was making it. It drowned out the sound of the urinal flushing. I heard the dude start laughing and wisely run out of the bathroom to aviod the fallout.
It took about a half a roll of toilet paper to clean up my ***. I stood up and turned around and started laughing hysterically out loud. I missed to bowl!! I decorated the plumbing and the wall. I have NEVER in my life seen anything like it SPAKLE is about the only way to descibe it. I was so proud of it I took my son back to show him. He was duly impressed I am his hero now.
Needless to say I would imagine no one used that stall for the rest of the night.
About a year ago we are at Point Orlando on International drive. We ate dinner walked over to FAO Schwartz then we window shopped. Suddenly dinner started to revolt inside me causing the most painfull intestinal cramps I had ever experianced. I told my wife I was heading to the bathroom. Public about 3 stalls and 2 urinals. I looked at the bowl and it was pretty funky. I decided this would be a Squat and Hover event. I pulled my shorts to my knees bent foward and squatted.
Just then a dude walks in and stands at the urinal. I am holding back forces of biblical proportions here. I am dying!! I dont want to let this go in a quiet bathroom with this dude standing there!! I formulated a quick plan. I decided to push it out as hard as I can right as he flushes the urinal. About 10 seconds after my decision to go with this plan (felt like 10 minutes) he flushed.... pushed with all my might....the sheer level of the volume of this *** explosion scared me and I was making it. It drowned out the sound of the urinal flushing. I heard the dude start laughing and wisely run out of the bathroom to aviod the fallout.
It took about a half a roll of toilet paper to clean up my ***. I stood up and turned around and started laughing hysterically out loud. I missed to bowl!! I decorated the plumbing and the wall. I have NEVER in my life seen anything like it SPAKLE is about the only way to descibe it. I was so proud of it I took my son back to show him. He was duly impressed I am his hero now.
Needless to say I would imagine no one used that stall for the rest of the night.
you sick bastard
10-06-2003, 09:16 PM
#30
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 203
Originally Posted by Jims5543' date='Oct 6 2003, 04:50 PM
I'll have to go with Squat and Hover Bill.
About a year ago we are at Point Orlando on International drive. We ate dinner walked over to FAO Schwartz then we window shopped. Suddenly dinner started to revolt inside me causing the most painfull intestinal cramps I had ever experianced. I told my wife I was heading to the bathroom. Public about 3 stalls and 2 urinals. I looked at the bowl and it was pretty funky. I decided this would be a Squat and Hover event. I pulled my shorts to my knees bent foward and squatted.
Just then a dude walks in and stands at the urinal. I am holding back forces of biblical proportions here. I am dying!! I dont want to let this go in a quiet bathroom with this dude standing there!! I formulated a quick plan. I decided to push it out as hard as I can right as he flushes the urinal. About 10 seconds after my decision to go with this plan (felt like 10 minutes) he flushed.... pushed with all my might....the sheer level of the volume of this *** explosion scared me and I was making it. It drowned out the sound of the urinal flushing. I heard the dude start laughing and wisely run out of the bathroom to aviod the fallout.
It took about a half a roll of toilet paper to clean up my ***. I stood up and turned around and started laughing hysterically out loud. I missed to bowl!! I decorated the plumbing and the wall. I have NEVER in my life seen anything like it SPAKLE is about the only way to descibe it. I was so proud of it I took my son back to show him. He was duly impressed I am his hero now.
Needless to say I would imagine no one used that stall for the rest of the night.
About a year ago we are at Point Orlando on International drive. We ate dinner walked over to FAO Schwartz then we window shopped. Suddenly dinner started to revolt inside me causing the most painfull intestinal cramps I had ever experianced. I told my wife I was heading to the bathroom. Public about 3 stalls and 2 urinals. I looked at the bowl and it was pretty funky. I decided this would be a Squat and Hover event. I pulled my shorts to my knees bent foward and squatted.
Just then a dude walks in and stands at the urinal. I am holding back forces of biblical proportions here. I am dying!! I dont want to let this go in a quiet bathroom with this dude standing there!! I formulated a quick plan. I decided to push it out as hard as I can right as he flushes the urinal. About 10 seconds after my decision to go with this plan (felt like 10 minutes) he flushed.... pushed with all my might....the sheer level of the volume of this *** explosion scared me and I was making it. It drowned out the sound of the urinal flushing. I heard the dude start laughing and wisely run out of the bathroom to aviod the fallout.
It took about a half a roll of toilet paper to clean up my ***. I stood up and turned around and started laughing hysterically out loud. I missed to bowl!! I decorated the plumbing and the wall. I have NEVER in my life seen anything like it SPAKLE is about the only way to descibe it. I was so proud of it I took my son back to show him. He was duly impressed I am his hero now.
Needless to say I would imagine no one used that stall for the rest of the night.