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What Do You Do In Public Bathrooms?
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,963
From: Sunny South Florida :)
depends on if i'm drunk or sober, and if I like/hate the place I'm at, results may vary
nothing makes me smile like a soaked and dripping new roll of tp tho, just makes me feel good about being me
nothing makes me smile like a soaked and dripping new roll of tp tho, just makes me feel good about being me
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 4,107
From: fredneck MD
Originally Posted by Jims5543' date='Oct 6 2003, 08:50 PM
I'll have to go with Squat and Hover Bill.
About a year ago we are at Point Orlando on International drive. We ate dinner walked over to FAO Schwartz then we window shopped. Suddenly dinner started to revolt inside me causing the most painfull intestinal cramps I had ever experianced. I told my wife I was heading to the bathroom. Public about 3 stalls and 2 urinals. I looked at the bowl and it was pretty funky. I decided this would be a Squat and Hover event. I pulled my shorts to my knees bent foward and squatted.
Just then a dude walks in and stands at the urinal. I am holding back forces of biblical proportions here. I am dying!! I dont want to let this go in a quiet bathroom with this dude standing there!! I formulated a quick plan. I decided to push it out as hard as I can right as he flushes the urinal. About 10 seconds after my decision to go with this plan (felt like 10 minutes) he flushed.... pushed with all my might....the sheer level of the volume of this *** explosion scared me and I was making it. It drowned out the sound of the urinal flushing. I heard the dude start laughing and wisely run out of the bathroom to aviod the fallout.
It took about a half a roll of toilet paper to clean up my ***. I stood up and turned around and started laughing hysterically out loud. I missed to bowl!! I decorated the plumbing and the wall. I have NEVER in my life seen anything like it SPAKLE is about the only way to descibe it. I was so proud of it I took my son back to show him. He was duly impressed I am his hero now.
Needless to say I would imagine no one used that stall for the rest of the night.
About a year ago we are at Point Orlando on International drive. We ate dinner walked over to FAO Schwartz then we window shopped. Suddenly dinner started to revolt inside me causing the most painfull intestinal cramps I had ever experianced. I told my wife I was heading to the bathroom. Public about 3 stalls and 2 urinals. I looked at the bowl and it was pretty funky. I decided this would be a Squat and Hover event. I pulled my shorts to my knees bent foward and squatted.
Just then a dude walks in and stands at the urinal. I am holding back forces of biblical proportions here. I am dying!! I dont want to let this go in a quiet bathroom with this dude standing there!! I formulated a quick plan. I decided to push it out as hard as I can right as he flushes the urinal. About 10 seconds after my decision to go with this plan (felt like 10 minutes) he flushed.... pushed with all my might....the sheer level of the volume of this *** explosion scared me and I was making it. It drowned out the sound of the urinal flushing. I heard the dude start laughing and wisely run out of the bathroom to aviod the fallout.
It took about a half a roll of toilet paper to clean up my ***. I stood up and turned around and started laughing hysterically out loud. I missed to bowl!! I decorated the plumbing and the wall. I have NEVER in my life seen anything like it SPAKLE is about the only way to descibe it. I was so proud of it I took my son back to show him. He was duly impressed I am his hero now.
Needless to say I would imagine no one used that stall for the rest of the night.
HAHAHAHAHHA
I was really, cracking up as i read that. Very good story!