I sliced my arm open on a cash register. I was walking past when the other bartender popped it open right as I walked past it, and is sliced my arm open. I also cut my finger on a faulty etch-a-sketch.



- Hand

 

All it supports is that I get laid once in awhile. And you sure do seem to be taking an awfully strong interest in my sex life....

 

Yes, well....



I'm working on a book--a novel--and I'm basing one of the characters loosely on you. He's a dashing young pilot with a girlfriend in every major city, and half of them are with child. He's a bit unstable and has memory lapses, some of which last for weeks. Once he forgot he was flying a plane, and imagined that he was driving a formula one car. Needless to say, they had to restock the barf bags. I haven't settled on a name yet, but Captain Johnson and Major Woodie are both in the running.

 

looks like i picked the wrong week to stop drinking soup!

 

I fell down a big hill covered in ice and when I landed at the bottom, I was just sitting on my knees. It didn't hurt but I distinctly remember something poking me in the butt. Turns out my right foot had done a 180 and it was my toes poking me. When I got to the hospital the x-ray was quite something. I didn't break or even roll my ankle, by my leg bone was all twisted up, like if you take a healthy tree branch and try to break it but it's too rubbery to snap. On the up side, my leg snapped back into place instantly so no relocating of bones was required. No one at the hospital believed I had broke anything until the x-ray though.



Oh, and I've broken my junk twice during sex. You haven't felt fear until you've felt your ***** go back inside you mid-hump. It feels like instantly losing a couple of inches.

 

Have you ever seen someone take an intake valve spring in the bag? A friend and I were assembling a set of 440 heads, the spring compressor let go, the spring and damper hit him square in the nuts. I though I was going to have to take him to the hospital he went down like he been shot by missile. I kept telling him to walk it off, he just kept rolling around on the ground screaming.. It was bad, but I was laughing so hard I had tears coming out of my eyes..

Alway be the guy on the combustion chamber side....

 

You're a good friend Maxt, never let him live it down. Lmao!