The US government
03-10-2007, 12:18 PM
#1
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: MENLO MAZDA
Posts: 192
If you have set yourself on fire, do not run
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.
Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!
The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand.
Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the **** away.
Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.
Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.
If a door is closed, karate chop it open.
03-10-2007, 12:18 PM
#2
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: MENLO MAZDA
Posts: 192
If your building collapses, give yourself a ******* while waiting to be rescued.
Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile
After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.
If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that ****.
-- If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.
If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they stop.
If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.
If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.
Do not drive a stations wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.
-- A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.
03-12-2007, 07:28 AM
#9
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Posts: 5,425
The government totally sucks
You **********er
The government totally sucks
Ben Franklin was a rebel indeed
He liked to get naked while he smoked on the weed
He was a genious but if he was here today
The government would **** him up his righteous aayyy
Now let me tell you something about the government (uh huh)
They're ******* up the environment (say what?)
They're taking all the ******* beautiful animals (yeah?)
And making them ******* extinct (oh no!)
The government totally sucks
You **********er
The government totally sucks
The government totally sucks
'cause the land of love and freedom,
Is just a baby's breath away
And if we hold hands together
We can bring back the USA
The USAAAAAA YEAAHHH
Bring back the USAAAA YEAAHH
The ******* USAAAA YEAHHHH
Bring back the US
Government totally sucks!
You **********er
The government totally sucks
Ben Franklin was a rebel indeed
He liked to get naked while he smoked on the weed
He was a genious but if he was here today
The government would **** him up his righteous aayyy
Now let me tell you something about the government (uh huh)
They're ******* up the environment (say what?)
They're taking all the ******* beautiful animals (yeah?)
And making them ******* extinct (oh no!)
The government totally sucks
You **********er
The government totally sucks
The government totally sucks
'cause the land of love and freedom,
Is just a baby's breath away
And if we hold hands together
We can bring back the USA
The USAAAAAA YEAAHHH
Bring back the USAAAA YEAAHH
The ******* USAAAA YEAHHHH
Bring back the US
Government totally sucks!
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