My girlfriend was out of town. I was really drunk and horny one night, as I staggered out of a club (leaving my friends inside). A street hooker picked me up and offered me some "service" for $40. I thougt "great - cheap sex."



We went back to her rat-infested **** apartment. I paid her. She wasn't bad looking (while drunk), and then she took her clothes off. Ok - still, I've seen worse. So then we started getting it on and I made the mistake of going down on her. Goddamn - if you can imagine the taste of **** with ample portions of salt and fishy taste.





That sobred me up pretty damn quick and I excused myself and left as quickly as possible. I had a hard time explaining the resulting cold sore to my girlfriend.

 

dude...that's GROSS



jspecracer7@yahoo.com

 

*shivers*



a father watches his daugter playing in the garden...she sees two daddy longlegs apparently mating, and she asked what kind of animals they were. her father said why, they're both daddy longlegs sweetie...the girl stomped them both and said "we're not having any of that **** in OUR garden!"

 

they all sat there looking through my porno magazines which would have been bad enough if the pages hadn't been all stuck together.



then they started working out which one was my "special lady."





- insanejake@yahoo.com

 

when i was living with my parents, i would just shoot my load on the carpet when masturbating, and my stepmom's dachshund just loved licking it up. in fact, a lot of times he'd chase me around when i'd stand up becuase he knew i was about to *** and he would leave me with no choice but to blow all over his little brown head...



- famousmonster@hotmail.com



now thats low

 

now thats my kind of awful ****

 

When I was but a scrawny lad of 15 I had a friend who'se dog would always pee on people. I'd go over to his house and if they didn't tie the damned thing up he'd **** all over my leg.



One day I went over after just getting new shoes (as I had outgrown the last pair) and that little beast pissed all over them.





I grabbed the dog and tied him to his "guest place tree" and chased him around the tree until he had wound the rope around the tree and was then pinned against the tree. Then I pissed all over the dog.





Not only did that dog never pee on me again, it never got withing 15 feet of me.





- baddog@pissed.com

 

as you can now tell, i am enjoying that site, thanks unique

 

http://www.lowbrow.com/index.html?PWKuvUJcBVIAAE0rCMU



i wonder who that is

 

Back in the day, when I was 14, I was with a girl. She was a ****. She was the kind of chick who would start to blow you, then stop. She had never finished anybody. My friend was in the room. She was alternating between blowing the two of us. She wouldn't finish either. Now she was blowing me. I was sitting on top of her while she sucked away. Finally I neared the apocalypse.

"I'm about to..." I told her.



I ******* told her that. She heard me. She pulled me out of her mouth, put her hand in front, and kept jerking away. I said **** it and shot my load all over her face and hair and my friends bed. She doesn't like me much. **** it. I warned her.





- busted@anut.com