everyone post a joke and we will have ajoke trhead KAKAKAKAK i have all the best ideas.....







a women walks into a bar and sees james bond sitting at a table. she walks over and sits down and begins talking to james. she then asks "well do u have any new gadgets?" and james replies "well i just got this watch from Q." the lady says "well what does it do?" and james says "it speaks to me telepathically." and the lady says "what is it saying to u now?" and james then says "its telling me ur not whereing any pantys." and the woman says "well it must be broken cuz i am most deffinately wearing panties." so james says "o silly me this watch is an hour fast."

 

lol...heard that one like 10 different times 10 different ways, never gets old though....



What do blondes and turtles have in common....































...they are both screwed when on their backs...

 

hehehe





here's one



some guy at the bar asks the barman if he's willing to make a bet with him. the barman answers back "what kinda bet?". the guys says "you see that glass overthere? i bet you $100 i can **** in it from here". the barman accepts knowing the guy is drunk as hell. the guy stands up and starts to **** all over the place. the guy gives him is $100 with a big smile on his face. the barman asks "what are you laughing? you just lost $100 !!" the guys tells him "i made a $250 bet with those 2 guys that i could **** all over the place and that you wouldnt give a ****"

 

I've heard that one too...but its all good....





What's red,blue,green,yellow,black,white,magenta,and chrome?

































every ricey civic I see.....

 

that was a horror story....dont confuse them with jokes!

 

How are hookers and butter alike?





They both spread for bread.

 

I read about this strange murder in the paper today. Turns out there was this Seattle couple murdered over the weekend while they were sleeping in their apartment. Whats strange is that the couple had fruit loops stuffed up their asses. The cops didn't have any idea who committed the crime, but figured they had a serial killer on their hands.

 

Two guys walk into a bar



That was pretty stupid, you'd think the 2nd guy was paying attention.





Two apples were being baked in an oven. One apple turns to the other apple and says "Man it sure is hot in here" The other apple says "AHHH A TALKING APPLE"

 

A guy goes to a hooker, and he's having a good time. All of a sudden she says that she has a glass eye. She then proceeds to remove the glass eye and tells him to screw her eye socket. Well, he loved it, and when he was ready to leave he said he would be back. The hooker said "I'll keep an eye out for you."

 

Bar... Alabama



This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orderes a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says "You're not from round here are ya?"

"No" replied the man, "I'm from Pensylvania." The bartender looks at him and syas "Well what do you do in Pensylvania?"



"I'm a taxidermist." said the man. The bartender, looking very bewildered, now asked "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?" The man looked at the bar tender and said "Well, I mount dead animals."



The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar which is staring at him "It's okay, boys! He's one of us!"