THE JOKE THREAD
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 306
From: Ontario, CANADA
Simpsons quote here,
"Why is he so mad at you?"
"Well, I sort of ran over his dog... replace sort of with, repeatedly, and dog with... son."
I'm not sure how funny it'll be to see, but it's damn funny to hear.
"Why is he so mad at you?"
"Well, I sort of ran over his dog... replace sort of with, repeatedly, and dog with... son."
I'm not sure how funny it'll be to see, but it's damn funny to hear.
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,113
From: Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?
There is this blonde secretary, and every day, people tell her non-stop blonde jokes. so one weekend, she decides 'ENOUGH! I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE DAMN BLONDE JOKES!'
So she dyes her hair brown. Monday morning comes, no jokes, tuesday no jokes. No one tells her any blonde jokes all week. So on friday after work she decides to celebrate and goes out and pick up a 12-pack and drives out in the country to her favorite place to get wasted.
On the way, there is a farmer, herding his sheep across the road. She stops and waits for all the sheep to cross the road. The farmer walks up to her car and thanks her for waiting.
"thank you ma'am. most people don't like to wait for me and my sheep. That was very kind of you'
'no problem' replies the ex-blonde.
Then she asks the farmer, 'hey, if i guess how many sheep you have, can i keep one?'
The farmer agrees, and she answers '97'
'You're right' says the farmer. 'you can take anyone you want'
So she walks thru the flock, looking at all the sheep trying to decide which one she wants. She finally picks one, walks back to her car and gets in, and starts to slowly drive away.
The farmer runs after her and catches her right away.
'Miss, if i guess your real hair color, can i have my dog back?'
So she dyes her hair brown. Monday morning comes, no jokes, tuesday no jokes. No one tells her any blonde jokes all week. So on friday after work she decides to celebrate and goes out and pick up a 12-pack and drives out in the country to her favorite place to get wasted.
On the way, there is a farmer, herding his sheep across the road. She stops and waits for all the sheep to cross the road. The farmer walks up to her car and thanks her for waiting.
"thank you ma'am. most people don't like to wait for me and my sheep. That was very kind of you'
'no problem' replies the ex-blonde.
Then she asks the farmer, 'hey, if i guess how many sheep you have, can i keep one?'
The farmer agrees, and she answers '97'
'You're right' says the farmer. 'you can take anyone you want'
So she walks thru the flock, looking at all the sheep trying to decide which one she wants. She finally picks one, walks back to her car and gets in, and starts to slowly drive away.
The farmer runs after her and catches her right away.
'Miss, if i guess your real hair color, can i have my dog back?'
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 4,775
From: Ames, IA
Originally Posted by banzaitoyota' date='Nov 29 2002, 08:22 AM
Why do black people have Garage sales?
To get rid of all you're crap they stole!
To get rid of all you're crap they stole!
To get their **** back.
<hr>
A kid asked his parents whether he was more Jewish or more African American. They asked why he wanted to know. He replied:"Well, Tommy is selling his bike for $10, and I want to know whether to talk him down to $5 or wait 'till dark and steal the ******."
Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 22
From: Ann Arbor, Michigan
Did you know that beer contains female hormones? It's true! Think about it, what happens after a having a few beers? You get really emotional and cry for no reason, you talk way too much without making any sense, and you sure as hell can't drive a car for ****!
