Wanna be a surrogate mother for mine and my gay partner's child?

 

damn, I fell like smacking my self for that one.

 

My friend is doing that...unless she's just pulling my leg.

 

A rich, lonely widow decided that she needed another man in her

life, so she placed a personal ad that read:



RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE WITH THE

FOLLOWING QUALIFICATIONS:



1. WON'T BEAT ME UP

2. WON'T RUN AWAY

3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED



For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell

was

ringing constantly, she received tons of mail...all to no avail.

None of the men seemed to meet her qualifications.



Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to

find a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat.

Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you and what do you want?"



"Hi," said the man "Your search is over, for I am the man of your

dreams. I've got no arms, so I can't beat you up and I've got no

legs, so I can't run away."



The old woman asked, "What makes you think you're so great in

bed?"



To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

 

NUKE THAT JOKE! ARRRRGHHHHH!

 

I've said that before. Thats a classic

 

how many german engineers does it take to change a light bulb?







none, if the bulb was designed and manufactured properly



mike

 

I went to the store the other day and bought a frozen dinner and a bottle of soda. There was a cute girl behind the counter and she says to me: "You must be single, huh?" I said: "What makes you think that, the food I'm buying?" She says: "No, because you're really ugly."



:bigok:

 

One of the apartments I lived in had a light switch that didn't do anything, so I'd go over and turn it off and on every so often.



Six months later I got a letter from a lady in Germany that said "Knock it off"





That joke pretty much sums up my sense of humour.

 

Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?

They can't get mice to butt-****