Adult sex jokes



Adult sex quiz..

1. What doesn't belong in this list? a. Meat b. Eggs c. Wife d. *******



Answer : ******* You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a *******.



2. Why does a ***** have a hole in the end?



Answer: So men can be open minded.



3. What's the speed limit of sex?



Answer: 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.



4. What do a Rubix cube and a ***** have in common?



Answer: The longer you play with them, the harder they get.



5. What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?



Answer: You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!



6. Three words to ruin a man's ego...



Answer: "Is it in?"



7. What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?



Answer: A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.



8. How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?



Answer: One of his fingers is clean.



9. What do you do with 365 used rubbers?



Answer. Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.



10. What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?



Answer: They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.

 

Once upon a time, there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened

to end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously, but it was all empty

and quiet. "Hello?" she cried...but no answer. "Is there anyone here?" she

cried a little louder, but still no answer.... Now the female brain cell

started to feel alone and scared and yelled: "HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"

Then she heard a voice from far, far away ... "Helloooooo - we're all down

here....

 

1 & 2 are the best ones

 

 

 

11. what do you call an anirexic with a yeast infection?



quarter pounder with cheese.



12. what dose a 70 year old lady taste like?



"depends"



13. why did god give a man a dick?



cause the women were always saying 2 heads are always better then one.

 

You killed it Joe, you make some moe.

 

Q: why did god give wemon legs?



A: so they wouldnt leave a trail like a snail.

 

1why do blonds like tilt sterring wheels



more head room



2 what happened when the girl put her underware on backwards?



she got her *** chewed



3 what dose a preist do when he is done ******* a 10 yo girl?



turns her over and pretends she is a 10 yo boy/



4. how can you tell if your femail bartender dose not like you?



there is a string hangin out of your bloody mary



5. what has wings and sucks blood?



a maxi pad



6. what do you call a 11ft urine stain?



line dancing at the local retirement home.



7. 2 condoms are walking down the street and as they pass by a gay bar one looks to the other and says "hey ya wanna go in and get **** faced?"



ill do more if more people want them