A English Paper
09-21-2003, 11:30 PM
#14
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: PA Pittsburgh
Posts: 575
Here is what i'v fixed / changed so far.
As I awoke I found a terrible burden upon my self. The moon was high and my skin burned. I knew I was about to embark on a terrible mission, but I could do nothing to stop myself. My skin slowly began to change. It burned with a firry hatred unlike any, a firry hatred straight from the depths of hell. Hair started to protrude, mussels tensing time and time again. It could not be stopped now the change to far along. As I fell to the floor my legs and arms became the same. Fingernails turned to razor sharp claws. My jaw now strong as a bear my bite worse than a viper. As blood ran through my vanes my hatred grew. The urge to kill was now fully upon my liken body. I ran out of the marsh at full speed.
As I arrived at the halls of Herot the death of all those within lingered on in my mind. My sleeping prey unknowingly, haunted by the hour of its demise. I quickly reached the great hall in which my sleeping prays await. With every passing second my hunger for blood rose with me. As I reached the doors of this great hall I could smell my prey. I rushed against the door and with one hard hit of my claws the door broke into hundreds of pieces and flew off of it's iron forged hinges, my strength was never so great before. Inside I saw the pray, the warriors that were about to satisfy my urge for blood. They slept two by two on top of one another in rows down each side of this great hall. I ran to the closest warrior and ripped him out of his sweet succulent slumber. Before he had even woke I had bitten him and drained his body dry of all blood. I tour him limb from limb till there was nothing left. Not a scream not a wimpier or even a wispier came from him. The only sound was of his bones crunching under my powerful bite. As I finished him off one of the other warriors seemed to be watching. He then became my next target. He was much bigger than the rest but non-the less food for my belly. I rushed toward him with the speed of a thousand sprinters. As soon as I stood in front of him he grabbed my neck with one of his hands, and I knew then at that very point that no man that I had ever seen before or since had this kind of strength. I quickly struck with my jaws open at him but I returned with nothing but lungs gasping for air. This mere mortal was coking me. He than bound my claws, I now had no way to fight or free myself. I struggled I jumped and gasped and shook but no matter what I could not free myself. We battled for what seemed like hours as we brushed against the walls of this great hall. This man wanted nothing less than my death. All of the warriors in the hall had now been awakened and had come to help rid me from this earth. But no mortal’s sword was sharp enough to break my skin. Only this one man had the strength to hold me at bay. As the leader of the pack had finally decided he had enough he ripped my arm straight from its socket. Pain ran through my body as he held my arm high all I could think about was getting away. I ran from that great hall with such speed mere man could not fathom.
Soon I arrived at the marsh and quickly went to my lair. The change was already starting to take place. I was now becoming once again what I had hated so much just seconds before. As I my hairy skin once again turned back to flesh I knew I would never again change. My arm held high as a trophy by a man stronger than all men, By the head honcho. I felt my life leaving me as blood ran from my gaping wound. Soon I knew it would be allover as I fell to the ground. My lair began to blur the light seemed to dim. I Tensed up as I went into a state of which I cant explain my blood pooling on the floor my life leaving me. All was over as I passed.
As I awoke I found a terrible burden upon my self. The moon was high and my skin burned. I knew I was about to embark on a terrible mission, but I could do nothing to stop myself. My skin slowly began to change. It burned with a firry hatred unlike any, a firry hatred straight from the depths of hell. Hair started to protrude, mussels tensing time and time again. It could not be stopped now the change to far along. As I fell to the floor my legs and arms became the same. Fingernails turned to razor sharp claws. My jaw now strong as a bear my bite worse than a viper. As blood ran through my vanes my hatred grew. The urge to kill was now fully upon my liken body. I ran out of the marsh at full speed.
As I arrived at the halls of Herot the death of all those within lingered on in my mind. My sleeping prey unknowingly, haunted by the hour of its demise. I quickly reached the great hall in which my sleeping prays await. With every passing second my hunger for blood rose with me. As I reached the doors of this great hall I could smell my prey. I rushed against the door and with one hard hit of my claws the door broke into hundreds of pieces and flew off of it's iron forged hinges, my strength was never so great before. Inside I saw the pray, the warriors that were about to satisfy my urge for blood. They slept two by two on top of one another in rows down each side of this great hall. I ran to the closest warrior and ripped him out of his sweet succulent slumber. Before he had even woke I had bitten him and drained his body dry of all blood. I tour him limb from limb till there was nothing left. Not a scream not a wimpier or even a wispier came from him. The only sound was of his bones crunching under my powerful bite. As I finished him off one of the other warriors seemed to be watching. He then became my next target. He was much bigger than the rest but non-the less food for my belly. I rushed toward him with the speed of a thousand sprinters. As soon as I stood in front of him he grabbed my neck with one of his hands, and I knew then at that very point that no man that I had ever seen before or since had this kind of strength. I quickly struck with my jaws open at him but I returned with nothing but lungs gasping for air. This mere mortal was coking me. He than bound my claws, I now had no way to fight or free myself. I struggled I jumped and gasped and shook but no matter what I could not free myself. We battled for what seemed like hours as we brushed against the walls of this great hall. This man wanted nothing less than my death. All of the warriors in the hall had now been awakened and had come to help rid me from this earth. But no mortal’s sword was sharp enough to break my skin. Only this one man had the strength to hold me at bay. As the leader of the pack had finally decided he had enough he ripped my arm straight from its socket. Pain ran through my body as he held my arm high all I could think about was getting away. I ran from that great hall with such speed mere man could not fathom.
Soon I arrived at the marsh and quickly went to my lair. The change was already starting to take place. I was now becoming once again what I had hated so much just seconds before. As I my hairy skin once again turned back to flesh I knew I would never again change. My arm held high as a trophy by a man stronger than all men, By the head honcho. I felt my life leaving me as blood ran from my gaping wound. Soon I knew it would be allover as I fell to the ground. My lair began to blur the light seemed to dim. I Tensed up as I went into a state of which I cant explain my blood pooling on the floor my life leaving me. All was over as I passed.
09-22-2003, 01:59 PM
#16
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Posts: 5,425
Originally Posted by Streetrally' date='Sep 22 2003, 02:51 PM
Come on dude, you're in high school and you spell muscle "mussel" and you put "a" instead of "an". 3 seconds or not thats just pathetic. I'm surprised you're in a college prep english class.
09-22-2003, 02:57 PM
#18
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Posts: 5,425
Originally Posted by Sinful7' date='Sep 22 2003, 03:39 PM
I'm confused how they made it and I didn't?
Somehow, they can take standardized tests well, but have no common sense.
The have to ask "will this be on the test?" for every damn thing the instructor says. They ignore the fact that they're actually trying to learn something, they memorize right before the test, and forget everything after that. That way, the next year, they still know nothing. And many instructors continue to cater to their stupidity, by constantly answering their annoying, redundant questions. But this theory needs refinement.
You know those friends you had, that seemed dumber than a stump, yet they managed to make A's? I think it's like that.
09-22-2003, 03:21 PM
#19
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: fredneck MD
Posts: 4,107
Originally Posted by Baldy' date='Sep 22 2003, 03:57 PM
I'm still working on that one, but this is what I have so far:
Somehow, they can take standardized tests well, but have no common sense.
The have to ask "will this be on the test?" for every damn thing the instructor says. They ignore the fact that they're actually trying to learn something, they memorize right before the test, and forget everything after that. That way, the next year, they still know nothing. And many instructors continue to cater to their stupidity, by constantly answering their annoying, redundant questions. But this theory needs refinement.
You know those friends you had, that seemed dumber than a stump, yet they managed to make A's? I think it's like that.
As for the sat's, i got a 1100 as a freshman on the PSAT's. I am taking the PSAT and SAT this winter. Im shooting for a 1300-1350.
Somehow, they can take standardized tests well, but have no common sense.
The have to ask "will this be on the test?" for every damn thing the instructor says. They ignore the fact that they're actually trying to learn something, they memorize right before the test, and forget everything after that. That way, the next year, they still know nothing. And many instructors continue to cater to their stupidity, by constantly answering their annoying, redundant questions. But this theory needs refinement.
You know those friends you had, that seemed dumber than a stump, yet they managed to make A's? I think it's like that.
As for the sat's, i got a 1100 as a freshman on the PSAT's. I am taking the PSAT and SAT this winter. Im shooting for a 1300-1350.
I hate how people just memorize the facts when they are learning. That is the problem with our schools. They dont captivate your interest, so people just take in the facts. So what you spend all your time memorizing the details. While that might be important, I would rather learn something, and have it stick with me then crap it in, and **** it out 10 min after the test. I wish school classes would captivate me more. The only classes i really enjoy taking are history math, and my favorite, science. I am not a great math student, but i enjoy logic, and i like how there is one answer. Science is cool because if you actually try, you can do some sweet **** with physics and chemestry.
English classes are getting very trite. While we do read a good selection of books, the exercises are so lame and overused. It just bores me to death. I wish teachers could come up with decent essay questions as well. I am sick of writing about the theme off books. I would actually enjoy writing about something interesting, such as comparing the characters in the book to real people. Something were your answer will not be the same thing as the person sitting next to you.
I find myself slacking off and not doing my homework because I am just not interested in what I am learning.
oh well.
BTW i finished beowulf last week. It was a decent epic poem. 11th grade english (honors)
09-22-2003, 03:37 PM
#20
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Posts: 5,425
I'm in a macroeconomics class right now, and it's managed to keep me interested. I don't know how, but I haven't fallen asleep once, even though it's Monday nights from 7-9:45.
Anyway, I like the class. But there's this girl that always, I mean ALWAYS asks, "is that gonna be on the test? can you repeat that?" It's so obnoxious, I just want to tell her to shut the **** up, and write the damn notes. Why the **** would she bother lecturing on it if you didn't need to know it?
My point is, many classes are interesting, but many students screw up the teachers' view of how most students think.
Anyway, I like the class. But there's this girl that always, I mean ALWAYS asks, "is that gonna be on the test? can you repeat that?" It's so obnoxious, I just want to tell her to shut the **** up, and write the damn notes. Why the **** would she bother lecturing on it if you didn't need to know it?
My point is, many classes are interesting, but many students screw up the teachers' view of how most students think.