the tasteless joke thread!
03-04-2006, 09:20 PM
#21
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Spoklahoma, WA.
Posts: 532
03-04-2006, 10:02 PM
#22
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: DC
Posts: 875
A man takes the day off work and
decides to go out golfing.
He is on the second hole when he
notices a frog sitting next to
the green.
He thinks nothing of it and is
about to shoot when he
hears, Ribbit 9 Iron."
The man looks around and doesn't
see anyone. Again, he
hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron." He looks
at the frog and decides to
prove the frog wrong, puts the
club away, and grabs a 9 iron.
Boom!
He hits it 10 inches from the
cup. He is shocked. He says
to the frog, "Wow that's amazing.
You must be a lucky frog, eh?
The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."
The man decides to take the frog
with him to the next hole.
"What do you think frog?" the
man asks. "Ribbit 3 wood."
The guy takes out a 3 wood and,
Boom! Hole in one. The
man is befuddled and doesn't know
what to say. By the end
of the day, the man golfed the
best game of golf in his life and
asks the frog, "OK where to next?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas.
" They go to Las Vegas
and the guy says, "OK frog, now
what?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon
approaching the roulette table, The man
asks, "What do you think I should
bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit
$3000, black 6."
Now, this is a
million-to-one shot to win, but
after the golf game the man
figures what the heck.
Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.
The man takes his winnings and
buys the best room in the
hotel. He sits the frog down and
says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you.
You've won me all this money and
I am forever grateful."
The frog replies,
"Ribbit KissMe."
He figures why not,
since after all the frog did for
him, he deserves it. With a
kiss, the frog turns into a
gorgeous 16-year-old girl. "And that,
your honor, is how the girl
ended up in my room. So help me God
decides to go out golfing.
He is on the second hole when he
notices a frog sitting next to
the green.
He thinks nothing of it and is
about to shoot when he
hears, Ribbit 9 Iron."
The man looks around and doesn't
see anyone. Again, he
hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron." He looks
at the frog and decides to
prove the frog wrong, puts the
club away, and grabs a 9 iron.
Boom!
He hits it 10 inches from the
cup. He is shocked. He says
to the frog, "Wow that's amazing.
You must be a lucky frog, eh?
The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."
The man decides to take the frog
with him to the next hole.
"What do you think frog?" the
man asks. "Ribbit 3 wood."
The guy takes out a 3 wood and,
Boom! Hole in one. The
man is befuddled and doesn't know
what to say. By the end
of the day, the man golfed the
best game of golf in his life and
asks the frog, "OK where to next?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas.
" They go to Las Vegas
and the guy says, "OK frog, now
what?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon
approaching the roulette table, The man
asks, "What do you think I should
bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit
$3000, black 6."
Now, this is a
million-to-one shot to win, but
after the golf game the man
figures what the heck.
Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.
The man takes his winnings and
buys the best room in the
hotel. He sits the frog down and
says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you.
You've won me all this money and
I am forever grateful."
The frog replies,
"Ribbit KissMe."
He figures why not,
since after all the frog did for
him, he deserves it. With a
kiss, the frog turns into a
gorgeous 16-year-old girl. "And that,
your honor, is how the girl
ended up in my room. So help me God
03-10-2006, 06:58 PM
#25
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 135
Hollywood should do a movie about these Brokeback cowboys -
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.
Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner Andrew Farnum had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
"I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, into the tube. Andrew shouted that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."
A hospital spokesman described what happened next. The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out of the tube, igniting Mr.Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur, which in turn ignited a large pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball.
But maybe this true story isn't pc..
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.
Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner Andrew Farnum had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
"I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, into the tube. Andrew shouted that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."
A hospital spokesman described what happened next. The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out of the tube, igniting Mr.Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur, which in turn ignited a large pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball.
But maybe this true story isn't pc..
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