the tasteless joke thread!
02-28-2006, 07:29 PM
#1
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 260
Lets here the worst downright horrible jokes you all can come up with!
I'll start it off!
How do you make a baby drink?
Stick it in the blender.
Whats great about 29 year olds?
Theres twenty of them!
Whats black and purple and doesnt like sex?
The 9 year old in my trunk!
I'll start it off!
How do you make a baby drink?
Stick it in the blender.
Whats great about 29 year olds?
Theres twenty of them!
Whats black and purple and doesnt like sex?
The 9 year old in my trunk!
02-28-2006, 07:55 PM
#3
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Spoklahoma, WA.
Posts: 532
The Little Blind Girl
A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?"
Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning."
So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed.
The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again."
So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see."
To which the mother replied, "April fool!"
A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?"
Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning."
So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed.
The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again."
So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see."
To which the mother replied, "April fool!"
02-28-2006, 08:15 PM
#4
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Spoklahoma, WA.
Posts: 532
Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."
Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"
The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"
The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
03-01-2006, 05:23 PM
#6
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: DC
Posts: 875
So me Codeblue and Bstrange all die in a big firey car wreck. We all go to hell and it's not so bad. As we walk around we see clocks with different names on them, and each one is spinning at a different speed. We find mine and it's moving slower than a normal clock. Then we find Codeblue's and it's moving about twice the speed of a normal clock. We keep looking and we cant find Bstrange's anywhere. Finnaly we find Satan and ask him about the clocks. He says that the faster they spin the more you masturbated in your life. So we ask why we can't fing Bstrange's, and Satan said he keeps it on his desk for a fan.
03-01-2006, 06:33 PM
#8
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Spokane
Posts: 376
Originally Posted by Hyper4mance2k' post='805223' date='Mar 1 2006, 03:23 PM
So me Codeblue and Bstrange all die in a big firey car wreck. We all go to hell and it's not so bad. As we walk around we see clocks with different names on them, and each one is spinning at a different speed. We find mine and it's moving slower than a normal clock. Then we find Codeblue's and it's moving about twice the speed of a normal clock. We keep looking and we cant find Bstrange's anywhere. Finnaly we find Satan and ask him about the clocks. He says that the faster they spin the more you masturbated in your life. So we ask why we can't fing Bstrange's, and Satan said he keeps it on his desk for a fan.
03-01-2006, 06:46 PM
#9
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Spokane
Posts: 376
So me, codeblue, and Hyper4mance2k all die in a fiery car crash and go to hell. Satan walks us down a hall with numerous doors on both sides. Finally we stop at a door and satan opens it. Inside we see a large male mule with a huge d!@k. Satan says "Dave, for your sins in life you will spend eternity being violated by the well hung mule you see before you." We continue on to another door. As the door opens, we see a HUGE, slovenly, one toothed woman, sitting naked. She's the most disgusting woman we've ever seen, Satan turns to me and says "Brian, for your sins in life you will spend eternity making love to this "thing"." Dave and I. both disgusted and scared, follow further down the hall to a third door. Adrian is sweating pretty bad by now, in fear of what he'll be dealt. When the third door opens we see the most beautiful woman any of us have ever seen. all of our jaws drop! The devil turns to Adrian and says "This is where you'll spend your eternity." Dave and I are both upset by this and ask " Why is it that we have to spend our eternities with the filth of hell, suffering every day, and Adrian gets this beautiful woman?"
The devil replies "As you and Dave must pay the price for your sins, the model must also pay hers."
The devil replies "As you and Dave must pay the price for your sins, the model must also pay hers."
03-01-2006, 07:45 PM
#10
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: DC
Posts: 875
Originally Posted by bstrange99' post='805241' date='Mar 1 2006, 04:46 PM
So me, codeblue, and Hyper4mance2k all die in a fiery car crash and go to hell. Satan walks us down a hall with numerous doors on both sides. Finally we stop at a door and satan opens it. Inside we see a large male mule with a huge d!@k. Satan says "Dave, for your sins in life you will spend eternity being violated by the well hung mule you see before you." We continue on to another door. As the door opens, we see a HUGE, slovenly, one toothed woman, sitting naked. She's the most disgusting woman we've ever seen, Satan turns to me and says "Brian, for your sins in life you will spend eternity making love to this "thing"." Dave and I. both disgusted and scared, follow further down the hall to a third door. Adrian is sweating pretty bad by now, in fear of what he'll be dealt. When the third door opens we see the most beautiful woman any of us have ever seen. all of our jaws drop! The devil turns to Adrian and says "This is where you'll spend your eternity." Dave and I are both upset by this and ask " Why is it that we have to spend our eternities with the filth of hell, suffering every day, and Adrian gets this beautiful woman?"
The devil replies "As you and Dave must pay the price for your sins, the model must also pay hers."
The devil replies "As you and Dave must pay the price for your sins, the model must also pay hers."
Oh damn!!! LOL got me good...