To get off the other hot topics....ugh...



Ok this one time, I was trying (hint, trying... I can't even get good feeds from people on the NET!!) to pick up a girl in Ocean City....



Well anyway, she was rather rude to me and I said:



"OK then, bitch. If your ***** is THAT good, you can eat it your ******* self".



I got slapped. But it was SO worth it!

Ive always been a fan of the age old "NICE SHOES, WANNA ****?"

Or- "You want to go out for some Pizza and then we ****?" girl:NO "why you have something against Pizza?"

HAH!

LMAO @ ROB

LOL

*This is me drunk about 7 yrs ao and my couin heard this onversaon witha girl I was ********





Girl* (Can me and you get seriuos and be g/f and b/f)

Me* (Yeah if no one knows)





Months after *******..and no I didnt want a relashionship...

A dude comes in my office (There you go Rob, I work for a Bank) and he looks kinda ragedy, we usually only take clients with deposits over $250K so I didn't think he knew that. He wanted to open a bussines account with us so he was directed to me.





Guy: I'd like to open an account with your bank.

Me: Do you have any money?



I don't know what came over me but I just said that and he left in a fury.I never got a chance to apologize.

Lend me $250,000 then.. a mere bag of shells for your bank ( I have Ralph Cramdon in my head today )

i bet that guy had like 4 million. all the weirdo's have the most money. the people you never expect are the ones with all the $$$

There were some weird folks that used to have a yacht at the marina I used to live at. They were so goddamned rich, but they dressed in clothes that looked like leftover thrift store stock. They were nice folks, but totally weird acting sometimes.

the people in woodside like to pretend they are country bumpkins or something, they go out and buy beat up pickups and stuff. larry ellision lives there, its not exactly a poor part of town



mike

When I was 11 I was cruising thru Cortland NY, when I saw this attractive middle aged lady, I leaned out the window and yelled (in a screeeching pre-pubescent way) "Pardon me miss, but do you Face-Sit?"

i have a good one from work. installed a cdrw in a customer's machine. she was probably 18-21 pretty hot anyway. she was hanging out in the back flirting yadda yadda. she went to sign the paperwork for the machine and asked if she had to. i said you have to sign it but you can put whatever name you want. i like the name haywood ja blowme https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...#>/biggrin.png



that was a kodak moment https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...#>/biggrin.png

To my best friend...



"You're a bitch, and so is your mother.”



“You both talk the talk about being bible humpers, yet when you're not around people who know(think) you are, you act the opposite. So **** you”



We didn’t talk for a few days, but after that we talked again. It’s a normal ritural(sp?).



and some other stuff...

good to see you back. I knew you wouldn’t leave.

I told someone i hoped that they died in a plane crash. I felt like the worst person in the word and i cried for like a week

some chick was asking me a whole bunch of questions one night and one of them was would i go out with a slut i answered no. Her next question was would i go out with her i said i already told you i wont go out with sluts. She never asked anymore questions.

Choke on my **** and die you ****!



Thats pretty bad huh?

--"Asssphinctersayswhat"

--"What"

--"Asssphinctersayswhat"

--"What"

--"Right"

Damn...I don't where to start, the 1st time I did or said anything bad to a female , believe it or not was in 1st grade. I sneaked in the girls bathroom w/my little girlfriend and we got completely naked. Of course I did'nt know what to do, so we kissed and I felt and she grabbed my ass and I punch her in the head and told her to get the hell out of the stall, just as that happened I looked up and all I saw were two BIG blue eyes, **** it was the teacher. Let's just say I had to be walked to the bathroom the rest of the year.. https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...IR#>/devil.gif

I got a few more, but considering i'm already in a sour mood - I don't feel like offending people.

I think the worst thing I ever said was to a fat person who called me an *******



her: "you're an *******!"



me: "I might be an *******, but at least I can change that if I want. You'll always be fat."

LOL, but Jenny Craig might set you up.

Girl: "I wonder where my boyfriend is he should have been here over an hour ago... i getting worried"



Me: "Maybe he got in a horrible car wreck and is died."



she cried after that and i had to tell her that her boyfriend wasn't dead but is was so funny



Friend: "Dude my life really suck, and everybody hates me, and no one understands me."



Me: "well if you life sucks so much maybe you should end it."



Friend: "Now i know who to come to if im feeling down."



i thought it was funny and so did he after a while when he feltt better

this is just funny, not really mean..

(reference to speaker box)



girl to my friend* when are you going to make my box???



me* I thought those came stock..



she didnt get it and had to have her boyfriend explain it while i laughed my ass off



after explaining:



girl* its not a square... is it??



Justin

Given that Aussie slang for playing hide the sausage is 'root' (And couldn't you lot just get in SO much trouble down here with that? Rooting for your team, root beer blah blah) I quite like:



Have you ever been walking in a forest and tripped over a tree? No? How about a root?

surprisingly i got nothign on this thread

I told my ex girlfriend I wished I hadn't kept her from killing herself....but hey, it was true.

Hahahah!

I slammed some kids face into a desk for calling me a fag. Well he did it twice. I said something about him not doing the work, so he said "it's right here fag!" and i said" DOnt ever call me that again please." And he said "SHutup Fag" SO i put him in the headlock type deal and slammed his face into his desk, all the while telling him what a ******* idiot he was for pissing off the Sp00nster.

Spoonster? Hehehe...





https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...#>/biggrin.png https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...DIR#>/wink.png

cool. dune rocks.

Your shits on the sidewalk cause you don't live here anymore and I am tired of you banging everyone you meet? Umm, yea I think that's bad isn't it?

i dont remember any. but i say a lot of off the wall double meaning crap to unsuspecting girls.



but once i told some fat guy that was running. "why dont you roll, you might get there faster."

"I'd rather eat the remains of my dead grandmother's asscrust than hit that"

rather eat the rather eat?

ehheheh, caught it

ehheheh, caught it[/quote]

https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...#>/biggrin.png

im to nice a person to have anything to put into this topic...

i wouldn't hit that with vosko's dick and carluch pushing.