Why Men Lie!
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 5,181
From: My BIG ol TURBO-DIESEL
One day while a woodcutter was cutting a branch off a tree above a river, his axe fell into the water. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"
The woodcutter explained that his axe has fallen into water and he needed it to make his living. The Lord went into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" He asked.
The woodcutter replied "No."
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" He asked.
Again, the woodcutter replied "No."
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?"
The woodcutter replied "Yes." The Lord was so pleased with the man's honesty that he gave him all three axes. The righteous woodcutter went home happy. Some time later he was walking along the riverbank with his wife, who fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez.
"Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.
"Yes!" exclaimed the woodcutter.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The woodcutter wailed, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, You might have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. If I also said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of three wives. THAT'S why I said yes to Jennifer Lopez."
The moral of this story: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others. That's our story, and we're damned well sticking to it!
The woodcutter explained that his axe has fallen into water and he needed it to make his living. The Lord went into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" He asked.
The woodcutter replied "No."
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" He asked.
Again, the woodcutter replied "No."
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?"
The woodcutter replied "Yes." The Lord was so pleased with the man's honesty that he gave him all three axes. The righteous woodcutter went home happy. Some time later he was walking along the riverbank with his wife, who fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez.
"Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.
"Yes!" exclaimed the woodcutter.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The woodcutter wailed, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, You might have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. If I also said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of three wives. THAT'S why I said yes to Jennifer Lopez."
The moral of this story: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others. That's our story, and we're damned well sticking to it!
