We were driving along a remote & dusty road in the Australian Outback .In the distance we saw a hitchhiker.This extremely good looking girl was in the middle of nowhere. Thinking I might shock my Canadian friend who was a respectable buisiness & family man I pointed out the hitch hiker & said "Lets pick her up.We can **** her then kill her". After a moments silence in which I thought he was horrified,he calmly turned to me and said,"No lets kill her then **** her"!



- phizzy51au@yahoo.com.au

 

No fuss no muss.

 

j9fd3s (4:08:45 PM): Smoking a cigarette while on the toilet?

Moderately lowbrow.



Letting that ash grow to dangerously unstable proportions while concentrating on pinching a world-record loaf?



Also moderately lowbrow.



Ashing between your legs right after that sucker plops down?



Definitely lowbrow.



Burning your ******* with a cigarette?



Near-redneck lowbrow.



The girlish scream, followed by the tearful explanation to your spose/significant other?



Priceless.





- dj_darkman@prodigy.net

j9fd3s (4:08:46 PM): yours?

TURB0II (4:09:07 PM): nope

TURB0II (4:09:13 PM): i have an ashtray in the bathroom

 

dumb





Driving Survival Skills

(This one from my buddy Patrick)



When a cop is riding your tail, it is essential that you know how to tilt a bottle without moving your head.





- LowBrowLimbo@hotmail.com

 

Lowbrowlimbo is funny as hell usually, most of his bar stories are fricking hilarious...but some as that one proves are just kinda retarded....



Sean

 

I meet a fellow car-nut in the BrewPub.

Well, I used to be a car-nut, but now I drive a minivan, and love it.



We swap tales of the racetracks we've been to, and all the race cars we've driven.



I assume he's lying his head off, because I certainly am. But I used to be a complete car-nut, so I do a good job of it.



I also assume he's lying when he says he's shortly going to graduate to a Ferrari, to combat his mid-life crisis.



Anyway, on to the LowBrow moment.



He drives a Q-car (something that looks innocuous, but is anything but), a 250hp VW Jetta.



He was pulled over for speeding on a quiet winding road last week. 90mph in a 55 zone.



I tell him he should have had a stuffed cat in the passenger seat, so he could spin the old "taking it to the vet --omigod it's DEAD, sob, sob" trick.



He says it wouldn't have worked: "Just try talking your way out of a speeding ticket, while strapped into a 4-point harness and wearing a crash helmet..."





- LowBrowLimbo@hotmail.com