Time To Die.
Member
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 96
From: rick christensen is my hero
hey dude... the whole im still in love with you thing is maybe an indication she needs a lot of time. you never know. not that you should dwell on her, but try not to put her all the way away. you were one step away from marraige, and thats not something that will go away that easy. so take it easy, and the AK sessions should help with that.
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,934
From: Jensen Beach, FL / Sylva, NC
Originally Posted by JDM 7' date='Oct 9 2003, 07:20 PM
[quote name='Jims5543' date='Oct 9 2003, 05:48 AM'] Go **** her mother.
Someone missed the memo...er....video...
If you need a vacation come down and we'll crash some clubs for a week. Maybe jims will let us borrow his car!!!
I missed this before. Ummm I dont think so. Alchohol, clubbing, driving,,....NO!
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 223
From: Corvallis, Oregon
I've been there (everything reminds you of her). It really sucks!
I felt a little suicidal too during my own hard break up with a girl in my past whom I knew for a long time, trusted, helped, confided in and really cared about.
Everything reminded me of her, so I threw a lot of my stuff away or donated it. The whole damn town kind of sucked so I moved away. I was 19 and had some bad experiences with my family so leaving was very good for me then.
But it hurt for a long time, and it hurt badly. Desire was the real killer, wanting her back and hating myself for the breakup even though she was a tramp and did the cheating, not me.
People will do one of two things: lift you up or bring you down. My ex brought me down, even though constant sex was pretty fun. She tried to make up for her fucked up attitude and personality with lots of sex, which was ok for about a year but unfulfilling later. I couldn't see her for who she really was (a leach) until a couple years after I cut off all contact with her. I called her once, about three years later and talking to her again showed me how foolish she actually was as a person. At that point all remaining confusion over her vanished.
So that's my story.
If you're going to kill yourself, you already know that you are going to, it's just a matter of when. But if you don't want to, then get rid of all reminders of her even if you have to sell the FD and buy another one.
So that's my story. I hope you enjoyed it.
I felt a little suicidal too during my own hard break up with a girl in my past whom I knew for a long time, trusted, helped, confided in and really cared about.
Everything reminded me of her, so I threw a lot of my stuff away or donated it. The whole damn town kind of sucked so I moved away. I was 19 and had some bad experiences with my family so leaving was very good for me then.
But it hurt for a long time, and it hurt badly. Desire was the real killer, wanting her back and hating myself for the breakup even though she was a tramp and did the cheating, not me.
People will do one of two things: lift you up or bring you down. My ex brought me down, even though constant sex was pretty fun. She tried to make up for her fucked up attitude and personality with lots of sex, which was ok for about a year but unfulfilling later. I couldn't see her for who she really was (a leach) until a couple years after I cut off all contact with her. I called her once, about three years later and talking to her again showed me how foolish she actually was as a person. At that point all remaining confusion over her vanished.
So that's my story.
If you're going to kill yourself, you already know that you are going to, it's just a matter of when. But if you don't want to, then get rid of all reminders of her even if you have to sell the FD and buy another one.
So that's my story. I hope you enjoyed it.
Thread Starter
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4,985
From: Denver, CO
well, here's the update..
I went to her house last night to talk, things got off to a rough start. I told her how our breakup felt really wrong. Not just that it hurt, not just that it's scary, but that deep down in my heart it felt like a sin to split up. She told me that she thinks so too.
After that, we went to work on identifying the problems, and talking them through, as we always had in the past. The problem was that she was trying to be the person she thought I wanted her to be. She was trying to be something she wasn't, and it was stifiling her. The solution was to take our relationship back a step or 10, but remain together. We decided to try and rediscover ourselves and eachother. This is why it works: Every time she talks to me, for an indefinet amount of time.. Every single time, right after "hello," She's going to tell me "I need ..." regardless if I can help her or not. She and I came to the conclusion that there is nothing here to support termination of the relationship. We identified needs that have not been met, that absolutely need to be met. She told me that she does love me, and is in love with me, and that she needs time and space to accomplish what she needs to.
I know you all are suggesting that I move on, but I know, in my heart, that this relationship is worth fighting for. I intend to fight to the death, if that's what it takes.
So that leaves her and I being just friends, but friends with the ultimate intention of marriage. I think it's a good position to be in, as I have every reason to stay true to her. She has every intention to stay true to me. It's like starting a maze, but knowing where the end is - less time can be spent worrying about how we get there and more time playing along the way.
The only thing I miss now is the physical aspect. I will still miss the nights together, the intamacy, the sex.. Those things will come back eventually. I have hope and faith.
So I'm feeling better, I'm actually able to talk to others, look at her picture, work on the RX7.
To everyone who has supported me over the last 48 hours, thank you. I know where my friends are now.
One last thing - I had a bullet with my name on it. Cynthia has it now.
I went to her house last night to talk, things got off to a rough start. I told her how our breakup felt really wrong. Not just that it hurt, not just that it's scary, but that deep down in my heart it felt like a sin to split up. She told me that she thinks so too.
After that, we went to work on identifying the problems, and talking them through, as we always had in the past. The problem was that she was trying to be the person she thought I wanted her to be. She was trying to be something she wasn't, and it was stifiling her. The solution was to take our relationship back a step or 10, but remain together. We decided to try and rediscover ourselves and eachother. This is why it works: Every time she talks to me, for an indefinet amount of time.. Every single time, right after "hello," She's going to tell me "I need ..." regardless if I can help her or not. She and I came to the conclusion that there is nothing here to support termination of the relationship. We identified needs that have not been met, that absolutely need to be met. She told me that she does love me, and is in love with me, and that she needs time and space to accomplish what she needs to.
I know you all are suggesting that I move on, but I know, in my heart, that this relationship is worth fighting for. I intend to fight to the death, if that's what it takes.
So that leaves her and I being just friends, but friends with the ultimate intention of marriage. I think it's a good position to be in, as I have every reason to stay true to her. She has every intention to stay true to me. It's like starting a maze, but knowing where the end is - less time can be spent worrying about how we get there and more time playing along the way.
The only thing I miss now is the physical aspect. I will still miss the nights together, the intamacy, the sex.. Those things will come back eventually. I have hope and faith.
So I'm feeling better, I'm actually able to talk to others, look at her picture, work on the RX7.
To everyone who has supported me over the last 48 hours, thank you. I know where my friends are now.
One last thing - I had a bullet with my name on it. Cynthia has it now.
