Time To Die.
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 212
From: Iowa Baby....Oh-Yea
I think that the way you two are able to handle a situation as intimate and powerful as that says a lot about your character and willingness to compromise for one annother. I really hope the relationship progresses the way that both of you want. 
Trying to change someone into what you want them to be is not a good thing, and finding someone who is willing to adjust to strengthen a relationship is hard to do IMO.
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 4,775
From: Ames, IA
Glad to hear things are looking up, Sinful. I like hearing about a couple making a logical and level-headed decision after a potential breakup. If you really love each other and are willing to put in the effort, it'll work out great in the end.
Crap...I'm about to
Crap...I'm about to
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 212
From: Iowa Baby....Oh-Yea
One last thing - I had a bullet with my name on it. Cynthia has it now.
I hope you are not serious about that.
If you were serious then God help you. I'm sorry but I feel I have earned the right to comment on this after fighting for my life life for the last year and if all goes well , knowing that for the next five years.. loading a bullet in a chamber and pulling the trigger each year gives me slightly better odds than what I have now. There are very few circumstances that justify taking your own life, and it is my opinion that a relationship is not one of them. Afterall if you had ended your life earlier for someone else, you never would have met her.
Just my $.02
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,113
From: Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?
Originally Posted by UniqueTII' date='Oct 10 2003, 12:33 PM
If you really love each other and are willing to put in the effort, it'll work out great in the end.
it's good to know that you're able to do things that remind you of her now. that has to feel very rewarding.
Thread Starter
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4,985
From: Denver, CO
Originally Posted by Danomite' date='Oct 10 2003, 02:12 PM
I hope you are not serious about that.
It was, at least, something I could count on being there if I needed it.. unlike everything else.
Senior Member
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 787
From: Alexandria, VA
Originally Posted by Sinful7' date='Oct 10 2003, 09:58 AM
well, here's the update..
I went to her house last night to talk, things got off to a rough start. I told her how our breakup felt really wrong. Not just that it hurt, not just that it's scary, but that deep down in my heart it felt like a sin to split up. She told me that she thinks so too.
After that, we went to work on identifying the problems, and talking them through, as we always had in the past. The problem was that she was trying to be the person she thought I wanted her to be. She was trying to be something she wasn't, and it was stifiling her. The solution was to take our relationship back a step or 10, but remain together. We decided to try and rediscover ourselves and eachother. This is why it works: Every time she talks to me, for an indefinet amount of time.. Every single time, right after "hello," She's going to tell me "I need ..." regardless if I can help her or not. She and I came to the conclusion that there is nothing here to support termination of the relationship. We identified needs that have not been met, that absolutely need to be met. She told me that she does love me, and is in love with me, and that she needs time and space to accomplish what she needs to.
I know you all are suggesting that I move on, but I know, in my heart, that this relationship is worth fighting for. I intend to fight to the death, if that's what it takes.
So that leaves her and I being just friends, but friends with the ultimate intention of marriage. I think it's a good position to be in, as I have every reason to stay true to her. She has every intention to stay true to me. It's like starting a maze, but knowing where the end is - less time can be spent worrying about how we get there and more time playing along the way.
The only thing I miss now is the physical aspect. I will still miss the nights together, the intamacy, the sex.. Those things will come back eventually. I have hope and faith.
So I'm feeling better, I'm actually able to talk to others, look at her picture, work on the RX7.
To everyone who has supported me over the last 48 hours, thank you. I know where my friends are now.
One last thing - I had a bullet with my name on it. Cynthia has it now.
I went to her house last night to talk, things got off to a rough start. I told her how our breakup felt really wrong. Not just that it hurt, not just that it's scary, but that deep down in my heart it felt like a sin to split up. She told me that she thinks so too.
After that, we went to work on identifying the problems, and talking them through, as we always had in the past. The problem was that she was trying to be the person she thought I wanted her to be. She was trying to be something she wasn't, and it was stifiling her. The solution was to take our relationship back a step or 10, but remain together. We decided to try and rediscover ourselves and eachother. This is why it works: Every time she talks to me, for an indefinet amount of time.. Every single time, right after "hello," She's going to tell me "I need ..." regardless if I can help her or not. She and I came to the conclusion that there is nothing here to support termination of the relationship. We identified needs that have not been met, that absolutely need to be met. She told me that she does love me, and is in love with me, and that she needs time and space to accomplish what she needs to.
I know you all are suggesting that I move on, but I know, in my heart, that this relationship is worth fighting for. I intend to fight to the death, if that's what it takes.
So that leaves her and I being just friends, but friends with the ultimate intention of marriage. I think it's a good position to be in, as I have every reason to stay true to her. She has every intention to stay true to me. It's like starting a maze, but knowing where the end is - less time can be spent worrying about how we get there and more time playing along the way.
The only thing I miss now is the physical aspect. I will still miss the nights together, the intamacy, the sex.. Those things will come back eventually. I have hope and faith.
So I'm feeling better, I'm actually able to talk to others, look at her picture, work on the RX7.
To everyone who has supported me over the last 48 hours, thank you. I know where my friends are now.
One last thing - I had a bullet with my name on it. Cynthia has it now.
