LOL, these damn crazy new jersey kids

her saliva



on my ****





my hand





on her tit





made possible





by the lie





that I gave:





Yes,





I am single







- jchrist@beer.com

okay, im done

okay, last one



Is it wrong to steal the batteries out of your little brothers toys when your vibrator stops working?





- jenknee88@hotmail.com

Glad to see you're enjoying it.

well, yes i am

my favorite ones



I lay there next to her thinking about the soft curves leading to her secret sweet place and how much I wanted to see her arch her back and disappear into pleasure, glad that I still wanted her after all these years. "Did you take the trash out?" she asked



and



I'm in a Public Speaking course at school, and we have to record all of the speeches we give. I'm at the mall with my girlfriend, and I mention that I need to buy a blank videotape. She asks "Why?" I jokingly respond "To tape porn movies." She comes back "Hmmm... better buy two then." I think I want to marry her.

When I was home from college I worked two jobs. One was at a Blockbuster. I had just gotten off work at like 2:30 AM and a cop had pulled me over. As soon as his spotlight hit me my head burst into immediate pain. I had been working 15 hours.



A car matching mine had been "terrorizing residents". I tried to explain that I just got off work. I still had my Blockbuster shirt and name tag on for Christ's Sake.





"License and Registration."





30 minutues later, turns out it wasn't me after all. Big ******* surprise. He laughs and tells me he's got a movie to return tomorrow. Maybe I can hook him up with a free rental. I smile.





I gave him a 35 dollar late fee instead.





- capital_zero@hotmail.com

My girlfriend used to jerk me off before she went to work... She was running late one day, so I got it started ofr her (how nice am I?) when I came a bit closer to climax, I had her finish.... Well just as I started to cum, the goddamn cat ran out from the closet and caught my wad all over the place... We both literally fell to the floor laughing.... And changed the name of the cat from Pookie, to Sticky, and eventually Crusty.



jdhuegel1@aol.com