Testimonials!
#1
Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three
kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo
and a blow job?" I
turned around and walked back out and never went back.
My husband didn't
say a word...he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of
golf *****. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After
browsing for
several minutes, I was approached by one of the
good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking,
I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with
men's *****."
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store
that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the
display case, the
boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I
replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh
hysterically, The
boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To
this day, my
Sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler
decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able
to grab hold of her
after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from
other patrons. I
told her that if she did not start behaving "right
now" she would be
punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and
said in a voice
just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right
now, I will tell
Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last
night!" The silence
was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even
the tellers stopped
what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my
dignity and walked
out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last
thing I heard when the
door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many
times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty
training and I was
on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for
a quick lunch in
between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining
room. While
enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of
course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I
realized that Danny
had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him
if he needed to go,
and he said "No". I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that
child has had an
accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then
I said, "Danny,
are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he
replied. I just KNEW
that he must have had an accident, because the smell
was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have
an accident?" This
time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over
and spread his
cheeks and yelled, "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While
30 people nearly
choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly
pulled up his pants
and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by
thanking me for the
best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2
days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the
future, likely think
before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow
but don't get
any.... a true story... We had a female news anchor
who, the day after
it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to
the weatherman and
asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me
last night?" Not
only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew
did too they were
laughing so hard!
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three
kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo
and a blow job?" I
turned around and walked back out and never went back.
My husband didn't
say a word...he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of
golf *****. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After
browsing for
several minutes, I was approached by one of the
good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking,
I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with
men's *****."
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store
that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the
display case, the
boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I
replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh
hysterically, The
boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To
this day, my
Sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler
decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able
to grab hold of her
after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from
other patrons. I
told her that if she did not start behaving "right
now" she would be
punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and
said in a voice
just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right
now, I will tell
Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last
night!" The silence
was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even
the tellers stopped
what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my
dignity and walked
out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last
thing I heard when the
door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many
times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty
training and I was
on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for
a quick lunch in
between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining
room. While
enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of
course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I
realized that Danny
had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him
if he needed to go,
and he said "No". I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that
child has had an
accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then
I said, "Danny,
are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he
replied. I just KNEW
that he must have had an accident, because the smell
was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have
an accident?" This
time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over
and spread his
cheeks and yelled, "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While
30 people nearly
choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly
pulled up his pants
and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by
thanking me for the
best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2
days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the
future, likely think
before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow
but don't get
any.... a true story... We had a female news anchor
who, the day after
it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to
the weatherman and
asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me
last night?" Not
only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew
did too they were
laughing so hard!