NoPistons -Mazda Rx7 & Rx8 Rotary Forum

Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three

kids in tow and

asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo

and a blow job?" I

turned around and walked back out and never went back.

My husband didn't

say a word...he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of

golf balls. I was

unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After

browsing for

several minutes, I was approached by one of the

good-looking gentlemen

who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking,

I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with

men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store

that sold a

variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the

display case, the

boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I

replied, "No, I'm

just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh

hysterically, The

boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To

this day, my

Sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler

decided to release

some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able

to grab hold of her

after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from

other patrons. I

told her that if she did not start behaving "right

now" she would be

punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and

said in a voice

just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right

now, I will tell

Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last

night!" The silence

was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even

the tellers stopped

what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my

dignity and walked

out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last

thing I heard when the

door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many

times? My

three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty

training and I was

on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for

a quick lunch in

between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining

room. While

enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of

course I checked my

seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I

realized that Danny

had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him

if he needed to go,

and he said "No". I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that

child has had an

accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then

I said, "Danny,

are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he

replied. I just KNEW

that he must have had an accident, because the smell

was getting worse.

Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have

an accident?" This

time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over

and spread his

cheeks and yelled, "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While

30 people nearly

choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly

pulled up his pants

and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by

thanking me for the

best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2

days and a very

embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the

future, likely think

before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow

but don't get

any.... a true story... We had a female news anchor

who, the day after

it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to

the weatherman and

asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me

last night?" Not

only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew

did too they were

laughing so hard!