Subject: Possibly The Best Blonde Joke Ever !
08-12-2003, 09:02 AM
#1
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Location: My BIG ol TURBO-DIESEL
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A stunning blonde went into a world wide message
centre, to send a message to her mother overseas.
When the man told her it would cost $300, she
exclaimed: "But I don't have any money. But I'd do
ANYTHING to get a message to my mother".
The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect).
"Anything?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.
"Well then, just follow me" said the man as he
walked towards the next room.
The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.
"Come in and close the door" the man said.
She did.
He then said "Now get on your knees".
She did.
"Now take down my zipper."
She did.
"Now go ahead.. take it out" he said.
She reached in and grabbed it with both hands...then
paused.
The man closed his eyes and whispered "Well...go
ahead"
The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to
it...and while holding it close to her lips,
said..........
"Hello, Mom...can you hear me?"
08-12-2003, 09:22 AM
#4
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Location: Toledo, OH
Posts: 736
Here's another good one:
This traveling comic is a ventriloquist.
So he goes to this town and performs his act.
The dummy makes all kinds of blonde jokes, and everybody is laughing.
About 3/4 the way through the act this blonde woman stands up and starts shouting.
She says, "Your an *******! Your mean and spiteful, and not every blonde is dumb!"
The comic, taken aback by the harsh words starts to apologize.
But before he can finish the blonde cuts him off and says, "You stay out of this! I'm talking to that little ******* on your lap!"
This traveling comic is a ventriloquist.
So he goes to this town and performs his act.
The dummy makes all kinds of blonde jokes, and everybody is laughing.
About 3/4 the way through the act this blonde woman stands up and starts shouting.
She says, "Your an *******! Your mean and spiteful, and not every blonde is dumb!"
The comic, taken aback by the harsh words starts to apologize.
But before he can finish the blonde cuts him off and says, "You stay out of this! I'm talking to that little ******* on your lap!"
08-12-2003, 09:40 AM
#5
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Location: London, Ontario
Posts: 2,871
A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note.
"I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde." She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note.
"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."
"I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde." She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note.
"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."
08-12-2003, 09:54 AM
#6
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Toledo, OH
Posts: 736
There are these three blondes walking through the woods. They are having a nice comfortable stroll, when suddenly they come across a set of tracks.
The first blonde says, "Oh how cute, little deer tracks."
The second blone says, "Those aren't deer tracks, they are bear tracks."
The third blonde says, "No, no you are both wrong, they are rabbit tracks."
While they are all standing there arguing what kind of tracks they are the train hits them.
The first blonde says, "Oh how cute, little deer tracks."
The second blone says, "Those aren't deer tracks, they are bear tracks."
The third blonde says, "No, no you are both wrong, they are rabbit tracks."
While they are all standing there arguing what kind of tracks they are the train hits them.
08-12-2003, 12:43 PM
#8
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 5,547
Originally Posted by TYSON' date='Aug 12 2003, 09:40 AM
A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note.
"I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde." She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note.
"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."
"I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde." She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note.
"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."
08-12-2003, 12:47 PM
#9
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Location: Tallahassee, FL
Posts: 5,425
Originally Posted by Srce' date='Aug 12 2003, 01:43 PM
[quote name='TYSON' date='Aug 12 2003, 09:40 AM'] A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note.
"I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde." She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note.
"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."
"I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde." She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note.
"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."
honestly, I didn't get that joke
08-12-2003, 12:49 PM
#10
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 5,547
Originally Posted by Baldy' date='Aug 12 2003, 12:47 PM
[quote name='Srce' date='Aug 12 2003, 01:43 PM'] [quote name='TYSON' date='Aug 12 2003, 09:40 AM'] A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note.
"I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde." She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note.
"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."
"I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde." She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note.
"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."
honestly, I didn't get that joke
She kiddnaped the kid, but sent him home with the note. Then the mother of the child gives the other blonde the money because she stupid and doesn't realize that her child canot be kiddnaped when it's at home with her.