The perils of renting!
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 2,535
From: VA
The following are excepts from letters sent to landlords:
1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has
fungus growing in it.
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just
can't take it anymore.
3. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want some repairs done to my oven as it has burnt
my **** off.
5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he
put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his ***** against my
fence.
7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof.
I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
8. My toilet seat is cracked, where do I stand?
9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the
wall.
10. Will you please send someone to fix the sidewalk. My wife
tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen
12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are
plain filthy.
13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is
cleared.
15. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny color
and not fit to drink.
16. Our toilet seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning
at 6am his **** wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
18. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is
unsightly and dangerous.
19. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a
third so please send someone to do something about it.
20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs apartment and would you please
do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
21. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job he started to satisfy
my wife.
22. I have had the maintenance man six times but I still have no satisfaction.
1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has
fungus growing in it.
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just
can't take it anymore.
3. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want some repairs done to my oven as it has burnt
my **** off.
5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he
put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his ***** against my
fence.
7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof.
I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
8. My toilet seat is cracked, where do I stand?
9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the
wall.
10. Will you please send someone to fix the sidewalk. My wife
tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen
12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are
plain filthy.
13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is
cleared.
15. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny color
and not fit to drink.
16. Our toilet seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning
at 6am his **** wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
18. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is
unsightly and dangerous.
19. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a
third so please send someone to do something about it.
20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs apartment and would you please
do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
21. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job he started to satisfy
my wife.
22. I have had the maintenance man six times but I still have no satisfaction.
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