1. I am currently away from my desk, beating my head against the wall.

Your message will be replied to once I have reached a level of

Numbness sufficient to cloud my vision to the point I am able to

formulate an appropriate response to your request.



2. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail

to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.



3. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of

The office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received

anything at all.



4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you

Send me until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and

your Mail will be deleted in the order it was received.



5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99

For the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your

message.



6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is

unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try

sending again. (The beauty of this one is that when you return, you

can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).



7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing

system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive

a reply in approximately 19 weeks.



8. I've run away to join a different circus.



9. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical

reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Marvin' instead of '

Martha.'

 

nice thing about the car dealership is i can just say no.