clean his mom's vagina out with a toilet brush

 

put the scrolling text screen saver on all his computers that reads "i love it when dudes lick my freshly shaven *******, ********, and nipples."

 

replace his eyedrops with krazy glue

 

Spray WD-40 all over his stovetop!

 

[13:18] ilrx8li: so how's the "straigten out life" quest going for you?

[13:18] ilrx8li: *straighten

[13:18] StevePSCO: gooder than yesterday!

[13:18] ilrx8li: goodly!

[13:18] ilrx8li: that's smurfin' awesome

[13:18] StevePSCO: it's the goodest!

[13:19] StevePSCO: smurf you, you smurfin' smurf

[13:19] ilrx8li: smurf me? no, smurf you

 

Smurfit!

 

Play bad and annoying techno on his speaker system, turned up really loud!

 

Make him swallow!

 

Force him to submit to a body cavity search (and rescue)

 

This thing needs to gain momentum again for the goal of 100 pages to be a realization.





Throw jelly at his wife and drapes!