What the hell. I'm about to turn 23. Yet yesterday I call the doc with a problem, they want me to come in right away. I go to "urgent care", urgently wait for 2 hours, just to have some weird old guy shove his fingers up my ass, which by the way HURTS LIKE HELL. I don't know how gay men and freaky women can deal with that. Anyways, internal hemorrhoids.



Ever see the Preparation H commercials? They're all old people!! You don't see some strapping, young 20-something-year-old in the commercial, "yo dude, I shoulda used Preparation H!" The mood of my Monday can be summed up with this: "**** suppository"



https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...1047683664.gif

If it helps, my friend who's 19 took sleeping pills all week to try and get some rest, but his intestine was funky and he digested them all at once and passed out. At the hospital they said that should/could have been lethal and he had to drink charcoal to get it out of his system, then he had blood coming out of the wrong places, also had to get that **** stuff done, to find out he just had a parasite in his anus.



I told him not to swim in the kiddie pool....

wow that can't be cool, note to self never sit on cold objects too long.

[quote name='nismo convert' date='Apr 5 2005, 01:28 PM']note to self never sit on cold objects too long.


[/quote]

https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...1047683561.gif

you've never heard that sitting on coldthings can give you hemroids?

No, who goes around sitting on cold things? Doc said it's from straining, as in while crapping or lifting something heavy. I was helping someone move on Saturday.

So, what the hell are hemorrhoids anyway?

sitting on things like the cold ground ie while working on a car apparently can cause them.

Wow, sux to be Baldy. I'm 25, and have the physical constitution of a man 15/16ths my age!

I thought it's where your intestines like, pop out your ass and stuff? Just push 'em back in. Damn intestines don't know what they're doing anyway.

I thought sitting on cold things gave you piles?



Mark

[quote name='Sinful7' date='Apr 5 2005, 12:18 PM']I thought it's where your intestines like, pop out your ass and stuff? Just push 'em back in. Damn intestines don't know what they're doing anyway.


[/quote]



I think thats a hernia(sp?).



Edit: https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...IR#>/blink.png Holy ****, uhhh... nevermind.

OMFG! https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...1047683698.gif



Link the pic next time, I just yacked all over the place, my desk and clothes are fucked!

[quote name='89 Rag' date='Apr 5 2005, 01:41 PM']OMFG! https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...1047683698.gif



Link the pic next time, I just yacked all over the place, my desk and clothes are fucked!


[/quote]



sorry!



i thought the size was perfect though!

LMAO, I like the google ad..

AHHHH who deleted my lovely pic?



heres a link for you guys who did not have the chance to see it.





<<<<NOT WORK SAFE, NOT HOME SAFE, NOT REALLY SAFE AT ALL>>>>

http://www.drmartinsnakeoil.com/Imag...t%20Lifter.jpg

<<<<NOT WORK SAFE, NOT HOME SAFE, NOT REALLY SAFE AT ALL>>>>

[quote name='Shane.Trammell' date='Apr 5 2005, 12:45 PM']AHHHH who deleted my lovely pic?


[/quote]

Me, **********er.

[quote name='Sinful7' date='Apr 5 2005, 12:45 PM']Me, **********er.


[/quote]



Thank you

[quote name='Sinful7' date='Apr 5 2005, 01:48 PM']So, what the hell are hemorrhoids anyway?


[/quote]

(the doc drew a rudementary diagram for me) You have veins around your anus. When you strain to hard, the pressure can cause them to swell up. They can be inside or outside the hole. If they're inside, they can eventually lead to outside if not treated*; the ones outside are supposed to be quite painful. Inside you don't feel it, but you get the bloody poo.

*treatment consists of sitting in warm water ("sitz bath") 20 minutes, twice a day (relaxes the muscle, relieves the pressure on the veins); along with a suppository twice a day, for 6 days. The suppository is hydrocortisone, uh, forgot the second word, but pretty much like witch hazel, and is supposed to be anit-inflammatory or anitseptic, I can't remember.



What I remember reading back when Edna was pregnant was that the external ones can resemble grapes, maybe that's what you're thinking of.

[quote name='Sinful7' date='Apr 5 2005, 01:45 PM']Me, **********er.


[/quote]



yeah it was a bad idea to post that up, but i thought it my be informative for anyone who has had that or who might have it in the future!

[quote name='Shane.Trammell' date='Apr 5 2005, 01:45 PM']AHHHH who deleted my lovely pic?



heres a link for you guys who did not have the chance to see it.

<<<<NOT WORK SAFE, NOT HOME SAFE, NOT REALLY SAFE AT ALL>>>>

http://www.drmartinsnakeoil.com/Imag...t%20Lifter.jpg

<<<<NOT WORK SAFE, NOT HOME SAFE, NOT REALLY SAFE AT ALL>>>>


[/quote]



disgusting and

NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS NWS



and disgusting

[quote name='Baldy' date='Apr 5 2005, 01:49 PM']



What I remember reading back when Edna was pregnant was that the external ones can resemble grapes, maybe that's what you're thinking of.


[/quote]



i think i passed some pics of that, anyone need pics?

[quote name='Shane.Trammell' date='Apr 5 2005, 02:50 PM']it my be informative for anyone who has had that or who might have it in the future!


[/quote]

false. link

[quote name='Baldy' date='Apr 5 2005, 01:55 PM']false. link


[/quote]





i dont care if the story of what happened is true or not, that photo is not photoshopped.

And you just push the grapes back in? lol, weird conversation.

[quote name='Sinful7' date='Apr 5 2005, 02:00 PM']And you just push the grapes back in? lol, weird conversation.


[/quote]



yeah in baldys case it would be like, "hey baldy would you push my 'grapes' back in again?" "sure edna, id love to"

ew.

[quote name='Shane.Trammell' date='Apr 5 2005, 01:03 PM']yeah in baldys case it would be like, "hey baldy would you push my 'grapes' back in again?" "sure edna, id love to"


[/quote]

LMAO!!!

[quote name='Baldy' date='Apr 5 2005, 11:49 AM'](the doc drew a rudementary diagram for me) You have veins around your anus. When you strain to hard, the pressure can cause them to swell up. They can be inside or outside the hole. If they're inside, they can eventually lead to outside if not treated*; the ones outside are supposed to be quite painful. Inside you don't feel it, but you get the bloody poo.

*treatment consists of sitting in warm water ("sitz bath") 20 minutes, twice a day (relaxes the muscle, relieves the pressure on the veins); along with a suppository twice a day, for 6 days. The suppository is hydrocortisone, uh, forgot the second word, but pretty much like witch hazel, and is supposed to be anit-inflammatory or anitseptic, I can't remember.



What I remember reading back when Edna was pregnant was that the external ones can resemble grapes, maybe that's what you're thinking of.


[/quote]



kenny had hemmoroids, and they removed em and installed the schpinchter 2000

hemmorrhoids=DA PILEZ

I did offer to insert the **** suppository, Baldy declined.

[quote name='Edna' date='Apr 6 2005, 08:45 AM']I did offer to insert the **** suppository, Baldy declined.


[/quote]



just use something sticky to stick it on the top of the butt plug before you put it in next time, that way there is pleasure involved and you get the medicine you need

spoken like a true proctologist

oh god that shits disgusting.

Yup, yer gettin' old. It's bran cereal and prune juice for you!

Wheatabix and raw hot dogs.

I nearly crapped my guts out once, but by the grace of god and these two fingers, I pushed them all back in.

nothing says i love you like shoving a pill up someones ass

[quote name='nismo convert' date='Apr 6 2005, 06:51 PM']nothing says i love you like shoving a pill up someones ass


[/quote]



https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...1047683785.gif