1. Make sure to always order your wings before you drink any beer.

The wing sauce per beer ratio is on a perfect 1:1 scale. The more beer you drink the hotter you order your wings.



2. Do not watch hockey while drinking beer and ordering chicken wings.

Actually, any sporting event where your home team crushes another team you hate adds a hot sauce multiplier of +2.



3. At 5 am when the chicken wings beckon to shoot out your ***, be a man.

No calling out to your sleeping wife with, "Honey is this wing sauce or blood?"



4. Always have soft toilet paper on hand.

By 5:30 am you will have to use the "dab" method instead of normal wiping.



5. Have your significant other smack you in the head with a large object before allowing you to do this to yourself again.

 

so we would be better off with pizza shooters?



mike