View Poll Results: Funny or not funny?
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02-10-2010, 11:54 AM
#1
Super Moderator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: VA
Posts: 2,532
Sadly, there has been a significant slowdown in the amount of funny material hitting my inbox. Clearly, all sectors of the economy are being hit hard. This is the best I've got!
IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'It's open!'
His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS
IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, then said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head negatively, and said,
'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'You gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry, but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
From Kingman , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE :
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind
the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceburg lettuce.
-- From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly, then nodded and said,
'That's why we ask.'
--Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She's a probation officer in Wichita , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING :
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and, for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.
How would you pronounce this child's name?
"Le-a"
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It's pronounced "Ledasha." When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "The dash don't be silent."
SO, if you see something like this come across your desk, please remember to pronounce the dash. If they axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us... and they VOTE and REPRODUCE!
IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'It's open!'
His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS
IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, then said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head negatively, and said,
'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'You gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry, but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
From Kingman , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE :
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind
the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceburg lettuce.
-- From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly, then nodded and said,
'That's why we ask.'
--Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She's a probation officer in Wichita , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING :
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and, for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.
How would you pronounce this child's name?
"Le-a"
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It's pronounced "Ledasha." When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "The dash don't be silent."
SO, if you see something like this come across your desk, please remember to pronounce the dash. If they axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us... and they VOTE and REPRODUCE!
02-10-2010, 12:51 PM
#3
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: London, Ontario
Posts: 2,871
I've been browsing failblog and all the connected sites a lot lately.
I'm happy to report that the McDs here and any other drive through know why you handed them that extra quarter. But then high school grads here can also find their own country on a map, so they have an advantage.....
I'm happy to report that the McDs here and any other drive through know why you handed them that extra quarter. But then high school grads here can also find their own country on a map, so they have an advantage.....
02-10-2010, 12:54 PM
#4
Super Moderator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: VA
Posts: 2,532
I stumbled upon it just recently! I want to build one of these!
http://www.instructables.com/id/The-...eless-Machine/
http://www.instructables.com/id/The-...eless-Machine/
02-10-2010, 01:03 PM
#5
Super Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Posts: 5,425
I stumbled upon it just recently! I want to build one of these!
http://www.instructables.com/id/The-...eless-Machine/
http://www.instructables.com/id/The-...eless-Machine/
02-10-2010, 01:49 PM
#8
Super Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Savannah, Ga
Posts: 2,763
02-10-2010, 05:17 PM
#9
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: peru, IN
Posts: 1,833
DISCLAIMER: i know it's linking to another forum, but there's too much stuff (47 pages) to transfer to over here. much of it is offensive, you've been warned. it's off of a small video game forum i'm an admin on and over the past 2 years we've collected a vast array of funny **** from the web and put it on there. so if you get bored, have a good laugh browsing through this thread
http://amaoutcasts.proboards.com/ind...ead=200&page=1
http://amaoutcasts.proboards.com/ind...ead=200&page=1
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