Chuck Norris
12-27-2005, 03:23 PM
#13
Super Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: My BIG ol TURBO-DIESEL
Posts: 5,181
While playing the role of a Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris used live
ammunition during all shoot outs. When the director explained that he
can't do that, he replied, "Of course I can, I'm Chuck Norris," and
roundhouse kicked him in the face.
It is common knowledge that there are three sides to the force: The
Light Side, The Dark Side, and Chuck Norris.
Scientists used to believe that a diamond was the world's hardest
substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse
kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure that the
scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norrisi.
God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for
a +500 gain to roundhouse ability.
Chuck Norris is the only male to give birth. His only child; Vin Diesel.
Every time Chuck Norris does a roundhouse kick, an angel gets its wings.
Chuck Norris can ejaculate through solid steel.
The letters in Chuck Norris' name can be rearranged to spell "Doom" in
twelve different languages, including Esperanto, but not French.
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
Chuck Norris burned down an entire forest when he was experimenting with
water.
Chuck Norris is the only person ever capable of telling if an aircraft
landed in soil by tasting it.
Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Ever.
Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
If Chuck Norris had a dollar and you had a dollar, Chuck would kick your
*** and take your dollar.
We once had a bachelor party for Chuck Norris. He ate the entire cake
before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris volunteers at retirement homes just so he can push old
people in wheelchairs onto the freeway.
ammunition during all shoot outs. When the director explained that he
can't do that, he replied, "Of course I can, I'm Chuck Norris," and
roundhouse kicked him in the face.
It is common knowledge that there are three sides to the force: The
Light Side, The Dark Side, and Chuck Norris.
Scientists used to believe that a diamond was the world's hardest
substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse
kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure that the
scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norrisi.
God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for
a +500 gain to roundhouse ability.
Chuck Norris is the only male to give birth. His only child; Vin Diesel.
Every time Chuck Norris does a roundhouse kick, an angel gets its wings.
Chuck Norris can ejaculate through solid steel.
The letters in Chuck Norris' name can be rearranged to spell "Doom" in
twelve different languages, including Esperanto, but not French.
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
Chuck Norris burned down an entire forest when he was experimenting with
water.
Chuck Norris is the only person ever capable of telling if an aircraft
landed in soil by tasting it.
Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Ever.
Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
If Chuck Norris had a dollar and you had a dollar, Chuck would kick your
*** and take your dollar.
We once had a bachelor party for Chuck Norris. He ate the entire cake
before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris volunteers at retirement homes just so he can push old
people in wheelchairs onto the freeway.
12-27-2005, 04:10 PM
#16
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Columbia IL/St. Louis MO
Posts: 2,748
Originally Posted by PhoenixDownVII' post='790209' date='Dec 27 2005, 04:46 PM
Am I the only one that finds all of the Chuck Norris humor painstakingly old, outplayed, and downright retarded?
Guess so.
You are just gay. Jump on the bandwagon and laugh you ******!!
Haha, Chuck Norris wears a rattlesnake for a condom.
12-27-2005, 06:11 PM
#19
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?
Posts: 1,113
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
haha!
funny personal story:
The head of refridgeration in one of the plants I work in is named Chad Norce, but everytime someone pages him over the PA system, they call him Chuck Norris...
haha!
funny personal story:
The head of refridgeration in one of the plants I work in is named Chad Norce, but everytime someone pages him over the PA system, they call him Chuck Norris...
12-27-2005, 11:13 PM
#20
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Peoria, AZ
Posts: 1,505
Originally Posted by PhoenixDownVII' post='790209' date='Dec 27 2005, 02:46 PM
Am I the only one that finds all of the Chuck Norris humor painstakingly old, outplayed, and downright retarded?
Guess so.