Blonde Jokes!
06-16-2004, 11:42 AM
#1
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: My BIG ol TURBO-DIESEL
Posts: 5,181
A blonde heard that milk baths make you beautiful so she left a note for the milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought probably she meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify her request.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I am going to fill my bathtub with milk and take a milk bath."
The milkman asked, "You want it pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my nipples."
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought probably she meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify her request.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I am going to fill my bathtub with milk and take a milk bath."
The milkman asked, "You want it pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my nipples."
06-16-2004, 11:46 AM
#2
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Hell (Colorado School of Mines)
Posts: 521
There was a blonde driving down the road in the middle of Kansas when she saw another blonde out in the middle of a cornfield rowing a boat. She immediately pulled over and started yelling at the blonde in the boat.
"Hey, what the HELL are you doing out there!?! You know, its blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! And if I could swim, I'd come out there and KICK YOUR ***!
"Hey, what the HELL are you doing out there!?! You know, its blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! And if I could swim, I'd come out there and KICK YOUR ***!
06-16-2004, 11:58 AM
#3
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: London, Ontario
Posts: 2,871
A blonde was desperate for money so decided to kidnap a child for ransom.
She found a little boy alone in the park, wrote a note saying:
"If you ever want to see your little boy again, leave $10,000 in a bag in the hollow tree at the park!!
Signed,
THE BLONDE"
She pinned the note to his coat and sent him home.
The next day she found the bag in the tree with another note,
"Here's your money! I can't believe one blonde would do this to another!"
She found a little boy alone in the park, wrote a note saying:
"If you ever want to see your little boy again, leave $10,000 in a bag in the hollow tree at the park!!
Signed,
THE BLONDE"
She pinned the note to his coat and sent him home.
The next day she found the bag in the tree with another note,
"Here's your money! I can't believe one blonde would do this to another!"
06-16-2004, 12:02 PM
#4
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: outside chicago now...soon orlando,fl again
Posts: 348
a blonde get's into a car accident the person that hit her didnt have insurance so she told her to pop out the dent's all u gotta do is blow into the tailpipe and they'd pop out so the blonde says ok an the other chick leaves, hours go by and another blonde stops to see what's goin on and blonde #1 tell's #2 the story, and #2 says to #1 ' you idiot......u've got the window's open'
06-16-2004, 12:12 PM
#5
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Cowgill , Missouri
Posts: 370
How are blonds like a bottle of beer?
Both air from the neck up...
How are blonds and turtles alike?
You get them on their back and they're both fucked...
How can you tell when a blond is having a bad day?
When her tampons behind her ear and she can't find her pencil...
How do blonds turn on the lights after sex?
They open the car door...
How are blonds and screen door alike?
The more you bang em, the looser they get...
A beautiful blond comes into a barber shop wearing headphones, she asks
the barber to cut her hair, he said "that's fine but you're gonna have to
take off the headphones." She said "I can't, but if you cut my hair, I'll pay you
AND give you the best ******* ever", he thought for a minute and agreed, he warned
her tho, that it would take awhile to get around the headphones, she said no problem,
after awhile she fell asleep in the chair, he took off the headphones and cut her hair, he finished and quite satisfied with himself asked for his *******, she didn't answer, he turned her around and she was dead, he picked up the headphones and listened....BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT, BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT...
Sean
Both air from the neck up...
How are blonds and turtles alike?
You get them on their back and they're both fucked...
How can you tell when a blond is having a bad day?
When her tampons behind her ear and she can't find her pencil...
How do blonds turn on the lights after sex?
They open the car door...
How are blonds and screen door alike?
The more you bang em, the looser they get...
A beautiful blond comes into a barber shop wearing headphones, she asks
the barber to cut her hair, he said "that's fine but you're gonna have to
take off the headphones." She said "I can't, but if you cut my hair, I'll pay you
AND give you the best ******* ever", he thought for a minute and agreed, he warned
her tho, that it would take awhile to get around the headphones, she said no problem,
after awhile she fell asleep in the chair, he took off the headphones and cut her hair, he finished and quite satisfied with himself asked for his *******, she didn't answer, he turned her around and she was dead, he picked up the headphones and listened....BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT, BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT...
Sean
06-16-2004, 12:58 PM
#6
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Toledo, OH
Posts: 736
First the quick ones:
What do blondes and the Bermuda Triangle have in common?
They both swallow a lot of semen.
How do you get a blonde on the roof?
Tell her the drinks are on the house.
What is a blonde's idea of safe sex?
Putting a condom on a *****.
Ok, now my favorite blonde joke evar.
Three blondes are walking through the forest when all of a sudden they come across a set of tracks
The first blonde stopped and declared, "Wow, look at all the turtle tracks!"
The second replied, "Those aren't turtle tracks they are bear tracks."
The thrid blonde stopped for a second thought about and said, "No, no I'm sure they are deer tracks."
And while they are arguing about what kind of tracks they really are, THE TRAIN HITS THEM!!
What do blondes and the Bermuda Triangle have in common?
They both swallow a lot of semen.
How do you get a blonde on the roof?
Tell her the drinks are on the house.
What is a blonde's idea of safe sex?
Putting a condom on a *****.
Ok, now my favorite blonde joke evar.
Three blondes are walking through the forest when all of a sudden they come across a set of tracks
The first blonde stopped and declared, "Wow, look at all the turtle tracks!"
The second replied, "Those aren't turtle tracks they are bear tracks."
The thrid blonde stopped for a second thought about and said, "No, no I'm sure they are deer tracks."
And while they are arguing about what kind of tracks they really are, THE TRAIN HITS THEM!!
