about my city!!!
08-07-2002, 10:37 PM
#1
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: savannah, GA
Posts: 210
well i found this on the internet about savannah(where i live duh, now all the stalkers can come and kill me lol) its pretty funny though u should read it to see the misery it is lol
> A Guide to Savannah
>
> A guide to Savannah, Georgia (pronounced Sa-va-nah)
>
> Savannah is comprised mostly of one way streets. The only way to get out
of
> Savannah is to turn around and start over when you reach I-16
>
> All directions start with "Go down Abercorn"
>
> Savannahians do not believe in turn signals. You will never see a native
> signal at a stop light, to change lanes or to merge. NEVER!
>
> Savannah is home of International Paper. That's all we make here, so
don't
> even dare ask for plastic at the grocery store...unless it's made by
> International Paper. And even then it's still paper.
>
> Savannahians only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask
for
> directions they will always send you down Abercorn Street.
>
> It's impossible to go around a city square and wind up on the same street
> you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic drive" and has
> posted signs to that effect so that out-of-towners don't feel lost...they
> are just on a scenic drive.
>
> The 8 am rush hour is from 6:30 am to 10:30 am
> The 5:00 rush hour is from 3:30 pm to 7:30 pm
> Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning and lasts through 2 am on
> Saturday.
>
> One way lanes are not understood by anybody...especially those of us who
> live here. STAY OUT OF THEM UNLESS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A HEAD-ON
COLLISION!
>
> In downtown Savannah "SIR" and "MA'AM" are used by the person speaking to
> you if there is the remote possibility that you are at least 30 minutes
> older than they are. In the suburbs "SUGAR" is a more common form of
address
> than "MISS" or SWEETPEA"
>
> You will always be called "Honey" by the Carey Hilliard waitresses in
> Savannah.
>
> Remember, everything is Sweet Tea, there is no such thing as Ice Tea
> Also, everything is Coke, whoever heard of soda?
>
> If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and
it's
> on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the
> grocery stores will be out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper
and
> beer if there is a remote chance of snow. If it does snow, people will be
on
> the corner selling "I survived the Savannah Blizzard" tee shirts.
>
> If you are standing on the corner and a CAT bus stops, you're expected to
> get on and go somewhere.
>
> There is always a traffic jam on Waters Avenue.
>
> Waters Avenue is the only street to have three names, Waters Avenue,
> Whitfield and Diamond Causeway.
>
> Savannah's traffic is the friendliest around. People are always blowing
> their horns.
>
> Construction on the Truman parkway is a way of life, and a permanent form
of
> entertainment.
>
> Construction crews are not doing their job properly unless they close
down
> all lanes except one during rush hour.
>
> Savannahians are very proud of their own race track, known as Abercorn
> Expressway. It runs halfway through the city and even has a posted speed
> limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 75 just to keep from getting
run
> over)
>
> Abercorn is the southern equivalent of the Autobahn. You will rarely see
a
> semi-truck on Abercorn, because the truck drivers are intimidated by the
> oversized SUV weilding housewives racing home after a grueling day at the
> salon or tennis match to meet their children at the school bus coming
home
> from their college prep preschool.
>
> Need to repent or need money? Don't worry...you can do both. Savannah has
a
> church and and bank on every corner of the city.
>
> The city loves pests. They have the rugrats, sandgnats and the SCAD Bees.
>
> The pollen count is off the national scale for unhealthy which starts at
20.
> Savannah is usually in the 2,000 to 4,000 range.
>
> All roads, vehicles and houses are yellowed from March 28th to July 15th.
If
> you have allergies you will surely die here.
>
> Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Savannah
>
> A Guide to Savannah
>
> A guide to Savannah, Georgia (pronounced Sa-va-nah)
>
> Savannah is comprised mostly of one way streets. The only way to get out
of
> Savannah is to turn around and start over when you reach I-16
>
> All directions start with "Go down Abercorn"
>
> Savannahians do not believe in turn signals. You will never see a native
> signal at a stop light, to change lanes or to merge. NEVER!
>
> Savannah is home of International Paper. That's all we make here, so
don't
> even dare ask for plastic at the grocery store...unless it's made by
> International Paper. And even then it's still paper.
>
> Savannahians only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask
for
> directions they will always send you down Abercorn Street.
>
> It's impossible to go around a city square and wind up on the same street
> you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic drive" and has
> posted signs to that effect so that out-of-towners don't feel lost...they
> are just on a scenic drive.
>
> The 8 am rush hour is from 6:30 am to 10:30 am
> The 5:00 rush hour is from 3:30 pm to 7:30 pm
> Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning and lasts through 2 am on
> Saturday.
>
> One way lanes are not understood by anybody...especially those of us who
> live here. STAY OUT OF THEM UNLESS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A HEAD-ON
COLLISION!
>
> In downtown Savannah "SIR" and "MA'AM" are used by the person speaking to
> you if there is the remote possibility that you are at least 30 minutes
> older than they are. In the suburbs "SUGAR" is a more common form of
address
> than "MISS" or SWEETPEA"
>
> You will always be called "Honey" by the Carey Hilliard waitresses in
> Savannah.
>
> Remember, everything is Sweet Tea, there is no such thing as Ice Tea
> Also, everything is Coke, whoever heard of soda?
>
> If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and
it's
> on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the
> grocery stores will be out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper
and
> beer if there is a remote chance of snow. If it does snow, people will be
on
> the corner selling "I survived the Savannah Blizzard" tee shirts.
>
> If you are standing on the corner and a CAT bus stops, you're expected to
> get on and go somewhere.
>
> There is always a traffic jam on Waters Avenue.
>
> Waters Avenue is the only street to have three names, Waters Avenue,
> Whitfield and Diamond Causeway.
>
> Savannah's traffic is the friendliest around. People are always blowing
> their horns.
>
> Construction on the Truman parkway is a way of life, and a permanent form
of
> entertainment.
>
> Construction crews are not doing their job properly unless they close
down
> all lanes except one during rush hour.
>
> Savannahians are very proud of their own race track, known as Abercorn
> Expressway. It runs halfway through the city and even has a posted speed
> limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 75 just to keep from getting
run
> over)
>
> Abercorn is the southern equivalent of the Autobahn. You will rarely see
a
> semi-truck on Abercorn, because the truck drivers are intimidated by the
> oversized SUV weilding housewives racing home after a grueling day at the
> salon or tennis match to meet their children at the school bus coming
home
> from their college prep preschool.
>
> Need to repent or need money? Don't worry...you can do both. Savannah has
a
> church and and bank on every corner of the city.
>
> The city loves pests. They have the rugrats, sandgnats and the SCAD Bees.
>
> The pollen count is off the national scale for unhealthy which starts at
20.
> Savannah is usually in the 2,000 to 4,000 range.
>
> All roads, vehicles and houses are yellowed from March 28th to July 15th.
If
> you have allergies you will surely die here.
>
> Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Savannah
>
08-08-2002, 12:50 AM
#4
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Marysville WA.
Posts: 1,847
Ha, my friend would love this. He spent 3 years there in the army. He has some ******* insane stories about St. Patrick's day though. One especially where he spent three days in Jail under a fake ID name. When the cops through him in jail they used the name off of the fake ID he had. When the MP's rolled around monday morning to pick him up they never saw his name on the list, only the fake ID name, so they didn't know he was there. They finally figured out the next day, but by then my friend had been missing for like two days and was in a heap of ****. He doesn't like to talk about it all that much. Sad part is he got jailed up for tapping a cop on the shoulder (he was going to ask for directions), the cop got pissed he had even touched him and hauled him away.
08-08-2002, 01:36 AM
#5
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Lynnwood, WA
Posts: 3,097
Originally Posted by isamu' date='Aug 7 2002, 11:50 PM
...Sad part is he got jailed up for tapping a cop on the shoulder (he was going to ask for directions), the cop got pissed he had even touched him and hauled him away.
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