A guy was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the

seat beside him. The new guy was a wreck, pale, hands shaking,

biting his nails and moaning in fear.



"Hey, pal, what's the matter?" said the first guy.



"I've been transferred to Los Angeles, California," he answered

nervously. "They've got race riots, drugs, the highest crime

rate in the country..."



"Hold on," said the first. "I've been in L.A all my life, and

it's not bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work,

mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school and

it's as safe as anywhere in the world."



The second guy stopped shaking for a moment and said, "Oh, thank

God. I was worried to death! But if you live there and say it's

ok, I'll take your word for it. By the way, what do you do for a

living?"



"Me?" said the first, "I'm a tail gunner on a bread truck."

 

A man from the East Coast is visiting California for the first time, and is conversing with a California native. He says, "I'll be visiting La Jolla (lah-JOLL-a) next week," whereupon the Californian replies, "Oh, you mean, "La-*HOY*-a?"







"Oh. Yeah, I guess so."



Then he adds, "but right now I'm staying in El Cajon (el-ca-JOHN)," and again the Californian corrects him, "You mean, El Ca *HONE*?"







"Oh. Yeah, right."







Then the Californian asks, "So when will you be returning home?"







The East Coast guy thinks about it for a minute and then answers, "Oh, I don't know, I guess sometime in *HUNE* or *HULY*!"

 

how many german engineers does it take to change a light bulb?



mike

 

None if the light bulb was engineered correctly..

 

what does that have to do with california?

 

good point, Yeah J9 what does that have to do with California.. its all your fault, now this thread has gone bad..

 

haha, this thread has been hijacked. turn it around and head for i ran



mike

 

You ran? Where?

 

iran

 

OOOOhhhhh I see, weve gone from Cali to Iran..