My New Ad In Fortune Magazine
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From: Stuart, FL
Long for the good old .com days of free flowing money and little to no business model? Wish there was some way to make them last forever? THINK BIG! I am looking for partners to invest in a startup, the beauty is we will do nothing, we will produce nothing, but we will hire 1 million employees in the first year, pay them gigantic salaries, expect nothing of them and promise them a golden retirement parachute. We only need enough money to pay them for a year, after that they will be so unwilling to give up their cush job, doing nothing and making a fortune that they will DEMAND the US Taxpayer fund the company to keep it going. My unique twist on the .com short sidedness ensures we'll be rich and we'll be in business for years to come. We'll virtually hold the us taxpayer hostage with the threat of loss of income to MILLIONS, each year we will hire 1 million new employees, who of course do nothing, get paid way too much and love their "job". As we add more and more employees it will become impossible to deny our requests for tax money, it's really quite genius and you can get in on the ground floor, we only need one years worth of over inflated salaries, after that it's smooth sailing, in 5 years I plan on having 5 million+ employees, they will of course account for an additional 10 million employees in their towns and cities all over the US. The beauty is we will have employees in EVERY state, EVERY town, the whole country will believe it absolutely rediculous to let us fail! call today, don't miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity.
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From: Stuart, FL
Originally Posted by jaguarx7' post='919769' date='Apr 2 2009, 08:13 PM
What's my starting salary?
minimal starting salary $95,000, once you have been there for 6 months, automatic promotion to management $150,000. Full benefits, retire when yer 42, each manager will be required to hire one person each year. Cell phone, company car and a free grocery card every month. Keep in mind this is only for the first year, once we get gov't backing you will receive MASSIVE bonuses.
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From: Stuart, FL
Originally Posted by jaguarx7' post='919774' date='Apr 2 2009, 10:09 PM
The only downside I see is that we'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes...
There will be no revolution (but that's a whole different topic). Eventually everyone will work for us, or at least know someone who works for us and all of our employees will be so happy that they'll talk about how great we are as long as we stick to our plan to at least 5 million employees in the first year, in 20 years I plan to 10% of the US population working for us. Furthermore, when you calculate how many people depend on our employees to keep their businesses running, we'll be more like a pillar of the community then a focal point of anger, LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL!
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 24,416
From: Stuart, FL
I'm penciling you in for a navigator as your car choice as we speak, let me know if you change your mind. we'll do a 12 month lease on our cars so we can swap them often, this will also make the Auto Industry very happy, which will help with our bail out funds.