[personal rant]I don't think I'm cut out for this "adulthood" thing. My bank account is going negative for the second time in a month. I mean, I don't have a mortgage to pay, no car payment, and I still can't meet the damn bills. You know how everything seems to hit you all at once? It really sucks. If it was just me, I wouldn't give a damn. But I've got a wife and kid, so I really feel like I'm letting them down, which is like the worst feeling I could have. My wife has savings (inheritance), but I hate using it, because I have to admit to her that I went negative, and her savings don't get replenished. Her parents would give us money without hesitance, but I don't want to be like the other family members, still stuck on mommy's breast. I was raised to not ask for money (because nobody had any), and to pay back what you do borrow. And I've had classes on personal finance, and some accounting, so I feel I should know better. Like I said, I feel like I'm letting my family down. Money sucks.[/personal rant]



It helps to get it out. Anyone in the same boat? (it's nice to know you're not the only one, you know?)

Dude, I understand what you are saying. You are only a year older than me, and I couldn't handle all that stuff. My girlfriends sister (who just recently turned 18) is pregnant, and her mom asked me what I would do if Nicole go t pregnant, to which I replied "Cry!" I'm saving money right now, but I live with the rents, and I've got most of my school paid for through scholarships. If it wasn't for those two things I think I'd be pretty screwed.



I wish you the best of luck, but don't be afraid to take help if you really do NEED it, that's what loved ones are there for!

good point, I just have to get used to the fact that sometimes you HAVE to borrow.



What also sucks is that we have a nice standard of living, and lots of nice things, but most of them were gifts. So I feel like I'm wealthy, but then look at my account, and feel like I'm losing. I know I'll get through it, it's just stressful, paired with sleep deprivation, makes me kinda in a perpetual bad mood.



But I figure, as long as it isn't like this all the time, like long-term debt, I should always be able to pull through.

Hey Baldy I feel your pain man.. I have to pay the rent and bills and buy groceries but sometimes the bank account just ain't looking good.. I have been overdrawn a few times, and it is the nastiest feeling, I don;t have a wife or a kid, but I do need to buy food for my mom, and get her things, and I do feel the same way.. Like if I am letting her down.. But remember that sometimes, it will be cheaper to borrow because you will avoid any charges or late fees and things of that nature for not being able to make the payment.. Heck if it comes to it.. let us know on the forum, sometimes we can help..

In the past two years, I went from making $250,000 per year to $36,000. With the tech market continuing to burn in hell, I'm not sure when or how I will be able to make my way back in. It's been very stressful, I've lost a girlfriend of three years indirectly because of it. Not to mention lots of hair.



I've had to step back and take account for what is and what isn't important. I was carrying mortgages on two homes and loans on two expensive cars. Some credit car debt, etc., etc... I've had to liquidate everything, except for one of my homes which is an income producing rental property, and severely change my standard of living.



The process of re-evaluating your lifestyle, or standard of living is a tough one. I have freed myself of all debt except for the mortgage on my remaining home and my current expenses are very low. I still noticed my account balances were very low close to payday every other week.



I then had to start tracking what I was spending my money on outside of my base expenses. The killers are lunchs (eating out daily), gas, entertainment, and food. I had no idea how much I was accutally spending in these areas until I focused on tracking my daily expenses. I used MS Money to assist me.



While I'm still not making a killing, I am now debt free, outright own both of my 7's, and I am able to put some money awway every month.



My appologies if I rambled on, I guess my point to you is: Track your expenses down to the penny for a month or two, figure out where you are spending your money. Then decide what is and isnt important. Set up and stick to a budget from there. Good luck!

I feel your pain, since I have been living the real world for the past 2 years or so. What can I say?, except that it sucks!. It really makes me think, why in the hell I wasn't a worm study nerd, who always wanted to be a surgeon or something.



On any case, the way that I am working things out is by dividing my expenses into two lists. The first list gets paid on the 15's right away, and the second list gets paid the 30's. On top of that, I take half of my monthly rent on the 15's and the other half on the 30's.



-Going out (eating out, theater, etc) is pretty much a no-no for me and my wife!

-Shopping spress are a no-no

-If there is not enough money in a certain month, then the cable gets 1/2% of the bill or sometimes nothing at all, untill the following month!



Again, I know how you feel!

I guess this covers your post a little.



https://www.nopistons.com/forums/index.php?...t=0#entry295650

yah, i feel your pain baldy, its very hard to make the number in the bank account go up. as for the family thing? i totally am not ready for that kinda responsibility



mike

Thanks for the lesson, Nemesis. I'm sure there are many people who could learn a lot from you. I have learned a lot about finances, but I need to put them to use.



And WTF is with this? lol

And thanks everyone, it's nice to know everyone's in the same boat here. It seems as if I'm joining normal society now, lol.

yah, as an example the dealership i used to work at used to buy all the keys and we would cut em for free. this got too expensive so they said just bill us for the keys we cut. ok fine, that ended up being more ($500-600 a month in keys). so they got serious and bought a key machine that kept all the keys in the proper spot and locked up. so of course for the machine to work they have to use it, so the cost of the keys they cut actually went up again after buying the machine.

the machine was somthing like $12,000, money well spent?



mike

Look at it this way,



If you were having it easy at 21, with a wife and kid and one income I'd have to kill myself!!



26, single and very little money in the bank.



What do you do for work? If you're going to borrow money, why not use it for night classes in a skilled trade? Nothing like seeing a machinist pull up in a modded M3 to make you realize you chose the wrong career. https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...IR#>/wacko.png

I'm going through some pretty hard times right now myself, which is why my TII is for sale. I make decent money for the bills I have, but I like to travel and I like to buy useless crap, so I've managed to dig myself yet another hole. I'm moving into a cheaper apartment today, so that should help a bit, but other than that, it's just going to take a lot more planning. If only I could stick to a budget...

yah, as an example the dealership i used to work at used to buy all the keys and we would cut em for free. this got too expensive so they said just bill us for the keys we cut. ok fine, that ended up being more ($500-600 a month in keys). so they got serious and bought a key machine that kept all the keys in the proper spot and locked up. so of course for the machine to work they have to use it, so the cost of the keys they cut actually went up again after buying the machine.

the machine was somthing like $12,000, money well spent?



mike [/quote]

not trying to bug you, but wouldn't that depend on the useful life of the machine?

I work full time for the state government, and I've been taking one class a semester. In January, I should have my AA, and start taking two classes a semester towards a degree in Business Administration.

yah, as an example the dealership i used to work at used to buy all the keys and we would cut em for free. this got too expensive so they said just bill us for the keys we cut. ok fine, that ended up being more ($500-600 a month in keys). so they got serious and bought a key machine that kept all the keys in the proper spot and locked up. so of course for the machine to work they have to use it, so the cost of the keys they cut actually went up again after buying the machine.

the machine was somthing like $12,000, money well spent?



mike [/quote]

not trying to bug you, but wouldn't that depend on the useful life of the machine? [/quote]

yes, but since they never used it, because they were lazy, the root problem in the first place, it was like flushing the key machine money down the toilet



mike

yah, as an example the dealership i used to work at used to buy all the keys and we would cut em for free. this got too expensive so they said just bill us for the keys we cut. ok fine, that ended up being more ($500-600 a month in keys). so they got serious and bought a key machine that kept all the keys in the proper spot and locked up. so of course for the machine to work they have to use it, so the cost of the keys they cut actually went up again after buying the machine.

the machine was somthing like $12,000, money well spent?



mike [/quote]

not trying to bug you, but wouldn't that depend on the useful life of the machine? [/quote]

yes, but since they never used it, because they were lazy, the root problem in the first place, it was like flushing the key machine money down the toilet



mike [/quote]

ok, I get it. yeah, that was a pretty bad idea.

yeah, but my point was um i forget. ah yeah the hard part about stuff like that is actually sticking to it



mike

Baldy, I'd actually talk to your wife about how you feel. Don't let money get in the way of your ability to communicate with her.



She might actually be mad that you came to the boards before her with your problem.

I don't think so, sometimes it's easier to go to friends or family before you take it to the spouse. I know some things I dreaded talking about or telling her, once put into perspective by a friend was much easier to talk about. Keep in mind we all want our wives to think we are superman, they view us in a similar regard no matter what our faults, we just don't see it the same way. Rarely will you view your love for their faults, you almost certainly focus on their strengths... if not you've got some other issues.



Sometimes you think something is going to be a bigger deal then it is and it's nice to get some outside input, makes you feel a little better about "pitching" it to the spouse.



Plus it helps you organize your thoughts. If he had of gone strait to the wife he prolly would have walked in and said "Honey we're broke, I am depressed and I want to take a jump off the 5 mile bridge"



Now it will prolly be something more to the effect of "I fell short this month and I don't want to let you down, but we need to borrow some money."



....that seems like progress to me https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...#>/biggrin.png

Feel better now Baldy? https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...IR#>/smile.png

It's kind of funny that he posted this, well not "funny", but a cosmic collision of sorts, or maybe something a little simpler, but you get the point. I had intended on posting my "Moment of Reflection" this morning anyhow, it just so happened that it had some significance with Blady's post.

ok where the 3rd one?

What the hell are you trying to tempt me into not ignoring?

I feel compelled to let you guys know some things in here about me since everyone seems to be telling us about their life.



I'm pretty good at lying, hiding things form others, hiding my emotions and how and why I think. That might be the reason most people here think that I'm a pretty jolly and otherwise up beat person. BUt I have fears, I have doubts, and yes, like everybody else, I have problems that just seem to kill my spirits at times.



My father was injured at work 4 years ago and hasn't worked since, we burned through our savings in less then 2 years and his old company isn't helping a bit. We've been suing them for those past 4 years and finally it'll be finished soon. I find myself handling everythink with the lawyers, doctors he's been visiting and all that stuff because neitehr of my parent's speaks great English. Sometimes I feel that the whole world is caving in on me, and this is the place where I kind of find my shelter from everything else.



You guys think that I can't find and FD, that's bullshit. I can't find an FD because the 7 SSM's that passed through my fingers all had one thing in common. How can I buy a sports car when my family is about to be evicted from their appartment? So I can't go through with it, 7 cars not bought, all met my criteria. You think you have it bad, ****, count your blessings because sometimes that's all you can do.



You guys criticize me because I live at home, now you know why I do. But regardless of all the jokes and ****, I'm still here, I stand a man and won't let anything bring me down.



Good luck Baldy and everything will work out.

That's pretty much exactly how it happened https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...IR#>/smile.png . I went home for lunch, and we talked about it. She said she was upset, because we hate using her money as often as we do, because it doesn't come back (unless I give it back, which isn't happening any time soon). But I know the feeling won't last, because she uses her money on small things, too. Hers was just a natural reaction. But yeah, as much as I didn't want to tell her, I did anyways, just because I knew it was the better thing to do for the relationship.

You're a good man, srce. It takes courage and strength to help pull through, and help support family. Sorry to say, but there are people who would pick up and leave in your situation. I hope the best for you.





And I can't thank you guys enough. Since I'm 21, and had a kid, I've lost touch with a lot of my friends, so this is good therapy. Don't take this the wrong way, but I honestly didn't know if the responses were going to be like "hang in there man, we all have problems" or more like "you think YOU have problems? let me tell you about problems, whiner..."

Problems are relative you know. Everybody's problems are a big deal to them. Hell I ain't got $3.00 for a starbucks, seems like a pretty big issue when I am walking by the local starbucks.



I simply cannot relish in other people's misery, it doesn't make me feel better at all. I have never understood those statements. "You think you've got it bad."



Like I say, it's taken me a long time to get there, but I focus on the good. Live my life to enjoy today, not think about how great yesterday was. Some day you WILL not get tomorrow, it's inevitible.

yeah, I figured that out in high school. When some chic offed herself, because she was depressed about a boyfriend or something like that (I think there was a chemical inbalance in there somewhere, but that's beside the point). Whereas, I had a kid in my class who was on his own at 18, and his problems involved coming to school after working all night.



People would wonder how someone could overreact so horridly to something like a relationship. They just didn't understand how bad it was to HER, when they would think that not having a home would be more serious.

Your problems effect you, and things that effect you are going to impact you, if you started worrying on everyone else's issues and you'll be a pretty unhappy monkey. sure it saddens me to see others unhappy and if I can do something I do, but when I can't it helps them none to pitty them.

wow its getting pretty deep... i'm still 16... and i notice my parents keep putting themselves in holes and just like alot of you it makes my dad feel most of the things you feel. i hear how hard it is somtimes and i only hope that i find my self a carrer to keep my self away from all that and you guyz def. inspire me to do my best to get away from that so i have to say thank you very much. and good luck to all of you

The best thing you can do at 16 is STAY IN SCHOOL. Go to college and do whatever you can to stay out of trouble (women). After you finish college, everything will become available for you.

yeah good advice! Also, the career doesn't determine your financial status. It's the spending choices. Think of it this way: are transients in debt?

maybe thats why they are transient?

Baldy, You need to get some help with BASIC budgeting. Calll the local office for Consumer Credit Counseling. They are an established non-profit organization. They will look at you expenses and income and help you plan a budget.

If all else fails go to the beach, find a small tuberous marine creature, and molest it!

yes, that's always good stress relief.

You sure know how to kill the mood banzi. LOL

HEY!!!! My first post was serious https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...IR#>/smile.png

A large salary doesn't mean you won't have money issues. Millionaires go broke every day. we all make poor choices, ALL OF US, recognize the poor choices, learn from it and don't do it again.