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Why Are You Clappng At The Wall?

Old May 19, 2005 | 10:31 AM
  #1  
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I've been to several live performances in my lifetime. Concerts, Broadway Musicals, campfire sing-alongs, public lectures etc. At every one of these venues, regardless of the actual quality of the performance, I feel compelled to clap. Why? The performers are right there and their ego and feelings are on the line. So I applaud. If there was no way for said performer(s) to ever hear my applause (whether I actually like their performance or not) why would I bother clapping or shouting or participating in any form of applause at all? I wouldn't because it would be stupid and pointless.



This brings me to early this morning. 12:01 am to be exact. That was the time when I was in the audience of Star Wars - Episode III - Revenge of the Sith.



Just so you know, I've been waiting for this film since I was like, I dunno...five years old. so this is pretty important stuff to me. I'm totally stoked, and can't wait to see this movie. I've always considered myself to be a nerd...and I am...but the sea of nerdery I was floating in this morning was unbelievable. Long story short, these retards were staging lightsaber duels at the front of the auditorium before the movie started.



Yeah...lightsaber duels.





They weren't even good.









Anyhow, from the moment the movie started till the moment it ended, these asinine hypergeeks felt compelled to clap and cheer at every little thing they saw on screen. They clapped and howled at the opening crawler, cheered at every last thing Yoda did, applauded every cool lightsaber duel....these people even got rowdy for the "AMC Feature Presentation" clip that plays just as the movie started.





Idiots.





Do these mindless syncophants not realize that their applause falls on deaf ears? IT'S A ******* SCREEN WITH LIGHT ON IT YOU MORON. GET OUT OF YOUR MOM'S BASEMENT AND GET A REAL FRIGGIN LIFE. If I thought that there was any way for the actors to hear my applause, I would gladly clap and cheer. I thought it was a pretty damn good movie and I wouldn't mind letting the actors and film makers know how I feel. But I can't. They weren't in Frisco at 12:01 am this morning. Only the retarded fangeeks and myself were.





Idiots.





And another thing: Why can I never see a premiere without something spoiling the event? Its usually either crappy seats, a sold out theatre, or something of the sort. Lats night I get to the theatre at 7:30. Some of these geeks have been there since 6:00 am. (get a ******* life, corky) When they finally let us in, I was totally shocked at the seats I scored. Middle of the theatre, not too far from the middle. Perfect seats. Almost. I got stuck sitting RIGHT NEXT to some half-retarded skinhead *** with what sounded to be tuberculosis. I swear to god, this douche proceeds to cough on me THROUGH THE WHOLE GOD FORSAKEN FILM. The kind of coughs where you think the person is going to gag and vomit at any moment. Totally distracting.



Suddenly the front row seemed like a pretty good place to be.







Anyhow, the bottom line is this:



1) Episode III was a really good movie. If you're a fan, I don't think you'll be let down. It's no Return of the Jedi, but It blows I and II away.



2) If you have to cough your lungs out, dont go and **** up someone else's movie premiere experience.



3) THEY CAN'T HEAR YOU, STOP CLAPPING AT THE DAMNED SCREEN.
Old May 19, 2005 | 10:48 AM
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That had to be the greatest Dennis Miller impersonation EVER!
Old May 19, 2005 | 11:01 AM
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lol
Old May 19, 2005 | 11:05 AM
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Old May 19, 2005 | 11:07 AM
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I would have grabbed a light saber and whooped some ***.
Old May 19, 2005 | 11:08 AM
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DAVE LETTERMAN SAID IT BEST LAST NIGHT. HE OPENED UP THE BOOK TO THE LAST PAGE AND READ THE LAST LINE:

"AND ALL THE PATRONS LEFT THE THEATER DISSAPPOINTED"
Old May 19, 2005 | 11:20 AM
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jackboots - that has to be your best post evar
Old May 19, 2005 | 12:04 PM
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jackboots wins! I think I'm going to print that thing out and hand out fliers at the movie theater next time I go.
Old May 19, 2005 | 12:07 PM
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HA HA I love it, but I must say, I dunno what crowd you expected at star wars, for a good portion of the current fans this is one of the only things that would break them away from a good role playing adventure and into the general population. (more or less)
Old May 19, 2005 | 12:12 PM
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i felt the same way the last time i watched a star wars movie...



George Lucas is probably playing WOW in his basement right now picking his nose.

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