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Announcer lady makes my wang plumper.

I heard about this a while ago, at least the part about border guards going through your computer looking for music. like they don't have enough to do already.

ha! i just bought a 1987 car, TAPES!

make sure you dont record anything off the radio!!! lol

what are they gonna conficate the 10000 songs i have on my comp along with evey other teenage person lol

dude seriously if some guy came up to me on the street while im jamming to my mp3s or phone and tried taking either i would knock him the **** out

Thats gonna be my word of the week, "douchebag"..

what ho? all this douchebaggery!

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/79/79tdouchebag.phtml



Lord Douchebag



Noblewoman.....Laraine Newman

Nobleman.....Peter Aykroyd

Butler.....Garrett Morris

Lord Worchestershire.....Jim Downey

Lord Salisbury.....Harry Shearer

Lord Wilkinson.....Tom Davis

Lady Wilkinson.....Jane Curtin

Earl of Sandwich.....Bill Murray

Servant.....Brian Doyle-Murray

Lord Douchebag.....Buck Henry

Lady Douchebag.....Gilda Radner







[ SUPER: SALISBURY MANOR - 1730 ]



Noblewoman: What a splendid party! I do believe everyone of any importance in England is here tonight.



Nobleman: Who would miss a party given by Lord Salisbury?



Butler: [ waiting at the door for guests to arrive ] Lord and Lady Wilkinson!



Lord Worcestershire: A marvelous entertainment, Salisbury! These chopped steaks are terrific, especially with this delicious mushroom sauce.



Lord Salisbury: Thank you, Coming from you, Worcestershire, that certainly is a compliment. [ turns to his guests ] Lord and Lady Wilkinson, welcome!



Lord Worcestershire: Tell me, Wilkinson, what the deuce is the purpose of two swords?



Lord Wilkinson: It's simple, really. Let's say you're an an attacker. My first blade straightens you upright, while the second clips you neatly at the ankles.



Lady Wilkinson: And there's Lady Wilkinson, for attacking your opponent's underarms and legs!



Butler: The Earl of Sandwich!



Nobleman: Tell me, have you seen Lord Cardigan?



Noblewoman: I understand he was turned away at the door..



Nobleman: Lord Cardigan? Why in heaven's name?



Noblewoman: He wasn't properly attired. Evidently, he came in a sweater.



Nobleman: Odd. I saw Lord Ascot, and he got in..



Butler: The Duke and Duchess of Argyll!



Lord Worcestershire: You know, Sandwich.. were the Sandwich Islands named after you?



Earl of Sandwich: Oh, no. Everyone asks me that, but I'm afraid nothing has ever been named after a member of my family.



Servant: Excuse me, your Lordship, but would you care for one of Lord Salisbury's steaks?



Earl of Sandwich: Yes, I would. Would you bring it to me with a couple slices of pumpernickel, please?



Servant: Yes. [ steps away ]



Butler: Lord and Lady Doucebag!



Lord Salisbury: Well, well, well.. I was just asking Lord Sandwich, "Where the devil are those Douchebags?"



Lady Doucebag: Well, it has been impossible to get him out of his workshop! He has been working day and night.



Lord Salisbury: You, Douchebag? Well, I wasn't aware you dabbled in that sort of thing. What in heaven's name are you working on?



Lord Doucebag: Well, I would be happy to tell you.. but perhaps after you have finished eating.



Lord Salisbury: Well, here is Chambers right now. Would you like something to eat?



Lord Doucebag: We're not too hungry right now - just a plate of raw vegetables.



Lord Salisbury: Would you like some dresing with that?



Lady Doucebag: Just some vinegar and water, thank you.



Earl of Sandwich: Douchebag, how are you? I haven't seen you in the House of Lords in ages! Don't tell me for the first time in memory we are going to have a House of Parliament without a Douchebag?



Lord Doucebag: My dear Sandwich, Parliament has always had its share of Douchebags, and it always will.



Lord Salisbury: Spoken like a true Douchebag. I have often heard the King speak of your family.. [ to Earl of Sandwich ] ..and of yours, as well: "Give me a Sandwich and a Douchebag, and there is nothing I cannot do."



Earl of Sandwich: Hear, hear!



Lord Salisbury: So, tell me, Douchebag.. when are you going to show us that invention of yours?



Earl of Sandwich: Yes, Douchebag, just what kind of an invention are you sitting on?



Lord Doucebag: Well, it's a long story. Why don't we go out to the garden, and I'll explain it to you.



Earl of Sandwich: Tell me - did Lady Douchebag help you in the project?



Lord Doucebag: Help? Why.. she was the inspiration!



[ they exit to the garden to discuss the wondrous invention ]



Butler: Lord Compost Heap and Lady Disinfectant Cake!



[ fade ]

With all this douchebaggery, what is. Hmmmmmm.

Pssh, that's amateur stuff. My word of the week is douchecanoe!