Subject: Top 30 Things You'll Never Hear a Souther
10-01-2002, 09:17 PM
#11
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Virginia Tech
Posts: 0
Originally Posted by UniqueTII' date='Oct 1 2002, 12:24 PM
[quote name='ThirdGenRX7' date='Oct 1 2002, 10:13 AM']I guess i'm the only one who didn't think that was very entertaining. Sounds like it was written by a gay democrat if you ask me. 
No, not really... but since you seem to think so i'll go through my list and prove my point.
30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen. (this one isn't bad)
29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. (A straight guy really shouldn't be reading shakespeare)
28. Duct tape won't fix that. (this one works too)
27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. (this one is over my head)
26. We don't keep firearms in this house. (Actually, if you have half a brain you should be able to figure out why it's good to have a gun, even if you don't really like them)
25. You can't feed that to the dog. (this one is okay too)
24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe. (just change pickup to volvo without seatbelts on and you have the exact same thing with yuppies so not a very good point.)
23. Wrestling's fake. (True, but kinda obvious)
22. We're vegetarians. (since when was being a vegetarian a good thing? If you are one please never vote again)
21. Do you think my gut is too big? (HA oh wait... not funny)
20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy. (ummm yeahhhhh this sounds more like a girl guy thing to me... If i saw a guy sitting down eating a grapefruit and grapes... well.. that's just plain fruity.
19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
18. Who gives a tinker's darn who won the Civil War? (A Tinker's darn? This guy is either Ned Flanders or a big time fudge packer. And I really do think people should get over the civil war... but whatever)
17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds. (well... I fail to find the humor in this one too)
16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor. (ahhh this one was actually witty and entertaining, but still a dash of homosexuality)
15. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today. (umm okay... I'm sorry that whoever wrote this is just too damn good for walmart, I happen to like the place)
14. Trim the fat off that steak. (*shrug*)
13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso! (I don't even need to say anything about that)
12. The tires on that truck are too big. (okay this one was decent as well)
11. I've got it all on the C:drive. (are they saying that redneck's don't use computers?)
10. UN-sweetened tea tastes better. (Another one that is just retardedly gay and makes little sense at that... I don't like unsweetened tea unless I put sugar in it, and everyone i know is that way also)
9. My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. (funny :bigok
8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl. (if Zima isn't a gay/girl drink I'm not really sure what is... I GUARANTEE you if I showed up at my friend's with 2 cases of zima they'd look at me different from that day forward.... Unless I brought in 24 amazing looking women with the cases)
7. Checkmate. (okay)
6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini. (another decent one)
5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen. (another decent one which is nice since i'm now in the in the top 5)
4. I don't have a favorite college team. (what's wrong with liking football? Most people do... and college is better than professional anyway so what gives?)
3. You All. (untrue, I live in VA right now and I hear them say You All all the time... and I can't stand it....)
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae. (oh shut the **** up is all I have to say... go anywhere in the USA and girls are wearing shorts that their asses fall out of.)
And, Number One is:
Nope, no more for me. I'm driving. (very possible, but I've seen more than my fair share of idiot rich parented collge kids drive their lexus or BMW home after having drank more than their fair share)
Anyway... that's why I think about that little list... and who the **** brings zima to a superbowl party and doesn't want to get shot? jesus....
So do you think that it wasn't written by a gay person on the far left of the board? a vegetarian, drinking zima, saying tinker's darn? come on now
10-02-2002, 08:15 AM
#15
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 509
Originally Posted by ThirdGenRX7' date='Oct 1 2002, 01:17 PM
30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen. (this one isn't bad)
29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. (A straight guy really shouldn't be reading shakespeare)
28. Duct tape won't fix that. (this one works too)
27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. (this one is over my head)
26. We don't keep firearms in this house. (Actually, if you have half a brain you should be able to figure out why it's good to have a gun, even if you don't really like them)
25. You can't feed that to the dog. (this one is okay too)
24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe. (just change pickup to volvo without seatbelts on and you have the exact same thing with yuppies so not a very good point.)
23. Wrestling's fake. (True, but kinda obvious)
22. We're vegetarians. (since when was being a vegetarian a good thing? If you are one please never vote again)
21. Do you think my gut is too big? (HA oh wait... not funny)
20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy. (ummm yeahhhhh this sounds more like a girl guy thing to me... If i saw a guy sitting down eating a grapefruit and grapes... well.. that's just plain fruity.
19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
18. Who gives a tinker's darn who won the Civil War? (A Tinker's darn? This guy is either Ned Flanders or a big time fudge packer. And I really do think people should get over the civil war... but whatever)
17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds. (well... I fail to find the humor in this one too)
16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor. (ahhh this one was actually witty and entertaining, but still a dash of homosexuality)
15. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today. (umm okay... I'm sorry that whoever wrote this is just too damn good for walmart, I happen to like the place)
14. Trim the fat off that steak. (*shrug*)
13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso! (I don't even need to say anything about that)
12. The tires on that truck are too big. (okay this one was decent as well)
11. I've got it all on the C:drive. (are they saying that redneck's don't use computers?)
10. UN-sweetened tea tastes better. (Another one that is just retardedly gay and makes little sense at that... I don't like unsweetened tea unless I put sugar in it, and everyone i know is that way also)
9. My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. (funny :bigok
8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl. (if Zima isn't a gay/girl drink I'm not really sure what is... I GUARANTEE you if I showed up at my friend's with 2 cases of zima they'd look at me different from that day forward.... Unless I brought in 24 amazing looking women with the cases)
7. Checkmate. (okay)
6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini. (another decent one)
5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen. (another decent one which is nice since i'm now in the in the top 5)
4. I don't have a favorite college team. (what's wrong with liking football? Most people do... and college is better than professional anyway so what gives?)
3. You All. (untrue, I live in VA right now and I hear them say You All all the time... and I can't stand it....)
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae. (oh shut the **** up is all I have to say... go anywhere in the USA and girls are wearing shorts that their asses fall out of.)
And, Number One is:
Nope, no more for me. I'm driving. (very possible, but I've seen more than my fair share of idiot rich parented collge kids drive their lexus or BMW home after having drank more than their fair share)
Anyway... that's why I think about that little list... and who the **** brings zima to a superbowl party and doesn't want to get shot? jesus....
So do you think that it wasn't written by a gay person on the far left of the board? a vegetarian, drinking zima, saying tinker's darn? come on now
29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. (A straight guy really shouldn't be reading shakespeare)
28. Duct tape won't fix that. (this one works too)
27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. (this one is over my head)
26. We don't keep firearms in this house. (Actually, if you have half a brain you should be able to figure out why it's good to have a gun, even if you don't really like them)
25. You can't feed that to the dog. (this one is okay too)
24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe. (just change pickup to volvo without seatbelts on and you have the exact same thing with yuppies so not a very good point.)
23. Wrestling's fake. (True, but kinda obvious)
22. We're vegetarians. (since when was being a vegetarian a good thing? If you are one please never vote again)
21. Do you think my gut is too big? (HA oh wait... not funny)
20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy. (ummm yeahhhhh this sounds more like a girl guy thing to me... If i saw a guy sitting down eating a grapefruit and grapes... well.. that's just plain fruity.
19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
18. Who gives a tinker's darn who won the Civil War? (A Tinker's darn? This guy is either Ned Flanders or a big time fudge packer. And I really do think people should get over the civil war... but whatever)
17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds. (well... I fail to find the humor in this one too)
16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor. (ahhh this one was actually witty and entertaining, but still a dash of homosexuality)
15. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today. (umm okay... I'm sorry that whoever wrote this is just too damn good for walmart, I happen to like the place)
14. Trim the fat off that steak. (*shrug*)
13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso! (I don't even need to say anything about that)
12. The tires on that truck are too big. (okay this one was decent as well)
11. I've got it all on the C:drive. (are they saying that redneck's don't use computers?)
10. UN-sweetened tea tastes better. (Another one that is just retardedly gay and makes little sense at that... I don't like unsweetened tea unless I put sugar in it, and everyone i know is that way also)
9. My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. (funny :bigok
8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl. (if Zima isn't a gay/girl drink I'm not really sure what is... I GUARANTEE you if I showed up at my friend's with 2 cases of zima they'd look at me different from that day forward.... Unless I brought in 24 amazing looking women with the cases)
7. Checkmate. (okay)
6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini. (another decent one)
5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen. (another decent one which is nice since i'm now in the in the top 5)
4. I don't have a favorite college team. (what's wrong with liking football? Most people do... and college is better than professional anyway so what gives?)
3. You All. (untrue, I live in VA right now and I hear them say You All all the time... and I can't stand it....)
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae. (oh shut the **** up is all I have to say... go anywhere in the USA and girls are wearing shorts that their asses fall out of.)
And, Number One is:
Nope, no more for me. I'm driving. (very possible, but I've seen more than my fair share of idiot rich parented collge kids drive their lexus or BMW home after having drank more than their fair share)
Anyway... that's why I think about that little list... and who the **** brings zima to a superbowl party and doesn't want to get shot? jesus....
So do you think that it wasn't written by a gay person on the far left of the board? a vegetarian, drinking zima, saying tinker's darn? come on now
19. in the south the more dogs the better we just feed em an let em roam
18. the civil war is a matter of pride and technically the south did win (we ceceeded didn't we, the war was to prevent cecession and the emancipation proclamation only freed slaves in the union states but i dont care... really)
17. the key here is "small"
14. couldnt tell ya
10. go to a real southern diner and try ordering non-sweet tea
4. come to alabama and ask if were for auburn or alabama hey i go to UAB and am for alabama (the two colleges are seperate)
1. i think that one came from things heard before a car wreck (hold my beer and watch this!)
i think whoever wrote it was at least a little gay
and yes it was funny
10-02-2002, 05:47 PM
#17
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Virginia Tech
Posts: 0
Originally Posted by The Blue Bomber' date='Oct 2 2002, 01:15 AM
27. southern boys usually drink natty light (thats natural light to you educated folk) or bud
19. in the south the more dogs the better we just feed em an let em roam
18. the civil war is a matter of pride and technically the south did win (we ceceeded didn't we, the war was to prevent cecession and the emancipation proclamation only freed slaves in the union states but i dont care... really)
17. the key here is "small"
14. couldnt tell ya
10. go to a real southern diner and try ordering non-sweet tea
4. come to alabama and ask if were for auburn or alabama hey i go to UAB and am for alabama (the two colleges are seperate)
1. i think that one came from things heard before a car wreck (hold my beer and watch this!)
i think whoever wrote it was at least a little gay
and yes it was funny
19. in the south the more dogs the better we just feed em an let em roam
18. the civil war is a matter of pride and technically the south did win (we ceceeded didn't we, the war was to prevent cecession and the emancipation proclamation only freed slaves in the union states but i dont care... really)
17. the key here is "small"
14. couldnt tell ya
10. go to a real southern diner and try ordering non-sweet tea
4. come to alabama and ask if were for auburn or alabama hey i go to UAB and am for alabama (the two colleges are seperate)
1. i think that one came from things heard before a car wreck (hold my beer and watch this!)
i think whoever wrote it was at least a little gay
and yes it was funny
10-02-2002, 07:42 PM
#18
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Ames, IA
Posts: 4,773
Yeah, I thing you thought about it too deeply, and a little off track. They weren't supposed to be funny because they made sense.
BTW, why shouldn't vegetarians vote? Just because low protein diets have killed off entire civilizations....
BTW, why shouldn't vegetarians vote? Just because low protein diets have killed off entire civilizations....
10-03-2002, 12:41 AM
#19
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 946
Its possible to be a vegetarian and keep a healthy protein level. Seriously, I did it a for a few years. Not for the typical stupid animal rights crap, just for health reasons. I just like the taste of steak too much to give it all up. Fortunately, I know that I can be a vegetarian at will, now, if I ever have to be again.