Subject: Hell
07-30-2003, 02:23 PM
#1
Super Moderator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: My BIG ol TURBO-DIESEL
Posts: 5,181
The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid term exam. The answer given by one
student was so profound that the Professor shared it with
colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now
have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
BONUS QUESTION: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law ... gas
cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed, or some
variant. One student
however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing over time.
So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate
they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering
Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change
of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to
expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell,
then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks
loose.
(2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulation given to me by Karen during my Freshman year, "
... that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and taking
into account the
fact that I still have not succeeded in having relations with her, then #2
cannot be true and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not
freeze.
The student received the only "A" given
Washington chemistry mid term exam. The answer given by one
student was so profound that the Professor shared it with
colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now
have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
BONUS QUESTION: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law ... gas
cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed, or some
variant. One student
however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing over time.
So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate
they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering
Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change
of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to
expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell,
then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks
loose.
(2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulation given to me by Karen during my Freshman year, "
... that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and taking
into account the
fact that I still have not succeeded in having relations with her, then #2
cannot be true and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not
freeze.
The student received the only "A" given
