Someone Got A Little Too Personal On Ebay
03-17-2004, 11:09 AM
#13
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Frederick MD
Posts: 6,331
Alright, here's the skinny on the car: It's trendy and peppy, yet practical because it gets such great gas mileage. There was no air conditioning ever put in this vehicle, so in the summer time I chose to roll down my windows and share my good taste in music with the pedestrians on the crosswalk. There are two tiny rust spots by the back tires as well as some small scratches on the back of the driver's seat. Don't ask me how those got there, maybe the previous owner let his cat loose in there or something. There is also a small dent on the right left side of the car, but that was just one of those things. You know, sweet little me driving in my sweet little car pulling into the Dairy Queen to get myself a frosty treat. Some obnoxious guy in a huge SUV just decides to back out of his parking space without looking and CRUNCH. Of course his car wasn't damaged in the slightest, yet he chose to shout and point fingers and blame it all on me. Naturally I pointed a different finger right back at him. Other than that the car is in really great condition.
Here's the skinny on me and why I'm selling such a great car: I had (emphasis on had) one of those boyfriends who was really into cars. You know the type. He had a summer car and a winter car, changed the oil himself because he didn't trust the guys at Valvoline to do a good enough job. Basically this leaves me standing in the garage day and night, cold and rain, while he tinkered with his cars. "Hand me the blah-blah-blah" was the closest to sweet talk as I got. Instead of sentimental Christmas presents he'd request car parts. Real romantic, this guy. But I put up with it because I knew how important it was to him. Unfortunately he used to make fun of my "dinky little Hondu." Yes, that's not a type-o, he actually referred to it as a Hondu. Recently I discovered that my car-loving boyfriend was also a **** loving boyfriend. No good, lying, cheating, piece of . . . I digress.
Here's where you, the wonderful bidders of ebay come in: I have been pinching pennies for quite some time now and I've decided to use my savings and your contributions to get myself a convertible. That way when the weather warms up a bit I'll be able to pull alongside Mr. Dirtbag at a stoplight. My cd player will be blasting some song like "Independent Woman," while in his inferior vehicle the skank in the passenger seat will be looking in his mirror to see if there's any of her ****-red lipstick on her teeth. When the light turns green I'll blow the scum-bucket a kiss and leave him in a cloud of dust, while he hoe turns up the volume on his stereo because her favorite song, "Achy, Breaky Heart," has just come on the radio. You can make it happen.
Just so you know this car is being sold as is with no warranties expressed or implied. The reserve is the blue book value and if you live within a 250 mile radius of Milwaukee, Wisconsin we'll deliver it to you for an extra $100.
Here's the skinny on me and why I'm selling such a great car: I had (emphasis on had) one of those boyfriends who was really into cars. You know the type. He had a summer car and a winter car, changed the oil himself because he didn't trust the guys at Valvoline to do a good enough job. Basically this leaves me standing in the garage day and night, cold and rain, while he tinkered with his cars. "Hand me the blah-blah-blah" was the closest to sweet talk as I got. Instead of sentimental Christmas presents he'd request car parts. Real romantic, this guy. But I put up with it because I knew how important it was to him. Unfortunately he used to make fun of my "dinky little Hondu." Yes, that's not a type-o, he actually referred to it as a Hondu. Recently I discovered that my car-loving boyfriend was also a **** loving boyfriend. No good, lying, cheating, piece of . . . I digress.
Here's where you, the wonderful bidders of ebay come in: I have been pinching pennies for quite some time now and I've decided to use my savings and your contributions to get myself a convertible. That way when the weather warms up a bit I'll be able to pull alongside Mr. Dirtbag at a stoplight. My cd player will be blasting some song like "Independent Woman," while in his inferior vehicle the skank in the passenger seat will be looking in his mirror to see if there's any of her ****-red lipstick on her teeth. When the light turns green I'll blow the scum-bucket a kiss and leave him in a cloud of dust, while he hoe turns up the volume on his stereo because her favorite song, "Achy, Breaky Heart," has just come on the radio. You can make it happen.
Just so you know this car is being sold as is with no warranties expressed or implied. The reserve is the blue book value and if you live within a 250 mile radius of Milwaukee, Wisconsin we'll deliver it to you for an extra $100.
03-17-2004, 08:39 PM
#20
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Columbia IL/St. Louis MO
Posts: 2,748
What the ****? Seems like she is selling her story of her life for about 6 months instead of the car.
But that is hilarious. I should save that, and bring it up every now and then just for ***** and giggles.
But that is hilarious. I should save that, and bring it up every now and then just for ***** and giggles.