Re: The Party
12-12-2003, 11:45 AM
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> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
> TO: All Employees
> DATE: October 01, 2003
> RE: Christmas Party
>
> I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will
> take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function
> room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!
> We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to
> sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO, Ralph, shows up dressed as
> Santa Claus!
> A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among
> employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be
> over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.
> This gathering is only for employees!
>
> Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
>
> Merry Christmas to you and your family.
>
> Patty
>
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
> TO: All Employees
> DATE: October 02, 2003
> RE: Holiday Party
>
> In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
> employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday,
> often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this
> year.
> However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party."
> The same policy applies to any other employees who are not
> Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no
> Christmas tree present.
> No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for
> your enjoyment.
>
> Happy now?
>
> Happy Holidays to you and your family.
>
> Patty
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
> TO: All Employees
> DATE: October 03, 2003
> RE: Holiday Party
>
> Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics
> Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name.
> I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a
> table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore.
> How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
>
> Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed
> since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and
> executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
>
> NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED!
>
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
> To: All Employees
> DATE: October 04, 2003
> RE: Holiday Party
> What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20
> begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
> during daylight hours.
>
> There goes the party!
>
> Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of
> year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the
> Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party-
> or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy
> baggy. Will that
> work?
>
> Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit
> farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get
> the table closest to the restrooms.
>
> Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have
> to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be
> flower
> arrangement for the Gay men's table.
>
> To the person asking permission to cross dress: No
> cross-dressing allowed.We will have booster seats for short people.
> Low-fat
> food will be available for those on a diet.
>
> We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for
> those people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh
> fruits as
> dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts.
> Sorry!
>
> Did I miss anything?!?!?
>
> Patty
>
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
> TO: All F*@king Employees
> DATE: October 05, 2003
> RE: The F*@king Holiday Party
>
> Vegetarian ****** I've had it with you people!!! We're going to
> keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so
> you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death,"
> as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your F*@king salad bar,
> including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have
> feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them
> scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW! I hope you all have
> a rotten holiday!
>
> Drive drunk and die!
>
> The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!
>
>
> FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
> DATE: October 06, 2003
> RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
>
> I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy
> recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.
>
> In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday
> Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
>
> Happy Holidays!
>
> Joan
>
> TO: All Employees
> DATE: October 01, 2003
> RE: Christmas Party
>
> I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will
> take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function
> room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!
> We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to
> sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO, Ralph, shows up dressed as
> Santa Claus!
> A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among
> employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be
> over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.
> This gathering is only for employees!
>
> Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
>
> Merry Christmas to you and your family.
>
> Patty
>
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
> TO: All Employees
> DATE: October 02, 2003
> RE: Holiday Party
>
> In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
> employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday,
> often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this
> year.
> However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party."
> The same policy applies to any other employees who are not
> Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no
> Christmas tree present.
> No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for
> your enjoyment.
>
> Happy now?
>
> Happy Holidays to you and your family.
>
> Patty
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
> TO: All Employees
> DATE: October 03, 2003
> RE: Holiday Party
>
> Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics
> Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name.
> I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a
> table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore.
> How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
>
> Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed
> since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and
> executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
>
> NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED!
>
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
> To: All Employees
> DATE: October 04, 2003
> RE: Holiday Party
> What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20
> begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
> during daylight hours.
>
> There goes the party!
>
> Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of
> year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the
> Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party-
> or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy
> baggy. Will that
> work?
>
> Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit
> farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get
> the table closest to the restrooms.
>
> Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have
> to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be
> flower
> arrangement for the Gay men's table.
>
> To the person asking permission to cross dress: No
> cross-dressing allowed.We will have booster seats for short people.
> Low-fat
> food will be available for those on a diet.
>
> We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for
> those people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh
> fruits as
> dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts.
> Sorry!
>
> Did I miss anything?!?!?
>
> Patty
>
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
> TO: All F*@king Employees
> DATE: October 05, 2003
> RE: The F*@king Holiday Party
>
> Vegetarian ****** I've had it with you people!!! We're going to
> keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so
> you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death,"
> as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your F*@king salad bar,
> including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have
> feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them
> scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW! I hope you all have
> a rotten holiday!
>
> Drive drunk and die!
>
> The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!
>
>
> FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
> DATE: October 06, 2003
> RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
>
> I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy
> recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.
>
> In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday
> Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
>
> Happy Holidays!
>
> Joan
>
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