Phins Is A Crispy Kracker!
03-10-2003, 12:33 PM
#21
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Frederick MD
Posts: 6,331
Originally Posted by j9fd3s' date='Mar 10 2003, 12:22 PM
DR. EVIL
The details of my life are quite inconsequential.
THERAPIST
That's not true, Doctor. Please, tell us about your childhood.
GROUP
Yes, of course. Go ahead, etc.
DR. EVIL
Very well, where should I begin? My father was a relentlessly
self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and
a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute
named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he
would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes
he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. A sort of general malaise that
only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical.
Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. If
I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty
standard, really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the
age of fifteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my
*********. There really is nothing like a shawn *******. At the age of
eighteen, I went off to evil medical school. From there...
ANGLE ON THE THERAPIST AND THE GROUP. They are stunned.
The details of my life are quite inconsequential.
THERAPIST
That's not true, Doctor. Please, tell us about your childhood.
GROUP
Yes, of course. Go ahead, etc.
DR. EVIL
Very well, where should I begin? My father was a relentlessly
self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and
a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute
named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he
would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes
he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. A sort of general malaise that
only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical.
Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. If
I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty
standard, really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the
age of fifteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my
*********. There really is nothing like a shawn *******. At the age of
eighteen, I went off to evil medical school. From there...
ANGLE ON THE THERAPIST AND THE GROUP. They are stunned.
And phins... I suggest Coco-Butter on the Ol leather nuts man...
03-10-2003, 01:09 PM
#25
Super Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: My BIG ol TURBO-DIESEL
Posts: 5,181
Worst burn I ever got: Went to Holy Loch Scotland in Nov. Did 30 Days of refit in the Submarine. Went to sea, stayed submerged for 82 dyas, Popped the Hatch in the Bahahmas. CO let us have a steel beach picnic; went up to nice black missle deck and fell asleep for 4 hours..... OUCH.
