Insert BS here A place to discuss anything you want!

Only In America!

Thread Tools
 
Search this Thread
 
Old 04-18-2003, 09:24 AM
  #1  
Super Moderator

Thread Starter
 
banzaitoyota's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: My BIG ol TURBO-DIESEL
Posts: 5,181
Default

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house

faster than an ambulance.



2. Only in America.....are there

handicap parking places in front of a

skating rink.



3. Only in America.....do drugstores

make the sick walk all the way to the

back of the store to get their

prescriptions while healthy people can buy

cigarettes at the front.



4. Only in America.....do people order

double cheeseburgers, large fries,

and a diet coke.



5. Only in America.....do banks leave

both doors open and then chain the

pens to the counters.



6. Only in America.....do we leave cars

worth thousands of dollars in the

driveway and put our useless junk in the

garage.



7. Only in America.....do we use

answering machines to screen calls and

then have call waiting so we won't miss a

call from someone we didn't want

to talk to in the first place.



8. Only in America......do we buy hot

dogs in packages of ten and buns in

packages of eight.



9. Only in America.....do we use the

word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poll' in Latin meaning 'many' and

'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.



10. Only in America.....do they have

drive-up ATM machines with Braille

lettering.



EVER WONDER



Why the sun lightens our hair, but

darkens our skin?



Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?



Why don't you ever see the headline

"Psychic Wins Lottery"?



Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?



Why is it that doctors call what they do

"practice"?



Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you

have to click on "Start"?



Why is lemon juice made with artificial

flavor, and dishwashing liquid made

with real lemons?



Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?



Why is the time of day with the slowest

traffic called rush hour?



Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?



When dog food is new and improved

tasting, who tests it?



Why didn't Noah swat those two

mosquitoes?



Why do they sterilize the needle for

lethal injections?



You know that indestructible black box

that is used on airplanes? Why don't

they make the whole plane out of that

stuff?!



Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?



Why are they called apartments when

they are all stuck together?



If con is the opposite of pro, is

Congress the opposite of progress?



If flying is so safe, why do they call

the airport the terminal?
banzaitoyota is offline  
Old 04-18-2003, 09:29 AM
  #2  
Senior Member
 
rbrtech's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Orlando
Posts: 517
Default

Points well stated now lets all go have some freedom fries
rbrtech is offline  
Old 04-18-2003, 09:35 AM
  #3  
Super Moderator
 
Baldy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Posts: 5,425
Default

When dog food is new and improved

tasting, who tests it?


I've seen a show where the guy's job is to taste test dog food. There's an epitaph for ya.
Baldy is offline  
Old 04-18-2003, 09:39 AM
  #4  
Senior Member
 
Sinful7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 4,985
Default

Originally Posted by rbrtech' date='Apr 18 2003, 08:29 AM
Points well stated now lets all go have some freedom fries
Hahaha! I'm getting ******* sick of our government. You'd better bet that if the ******** that wasted my time and money doing that **** were from Colorado, I'd be beating their asses right about now.
Sinful7 is offline  
Old 04-18-2003, 09:39 AM
  #5  
Senior Member
 
rbrtech's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Orlando
Posts: 517
Default

I watched a guy on the man show eat it
rbrtech is offline  
Old 04-18-2003, 09:40 AM
  #6  
Senior Member
 
rbrtech's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Orlando
Posts: 517
Default

i work in dc its no bullshit
rbrtech is offline  
Old 04-18-2003, 10:02 AM
  #7  
Senior Member
 
Shane.Trammell's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Richardson Texas
Posts: 4,326
Default

this sounds like a creed song
Shane.Trammell is offline  
Old 04-18-2003, 10:25 AM
  #8  
Senior Member
 
j9fd3s's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: California
Posts: 22,465
Default

we watched rescue 211 in amesterdamn and they were fishing cars out of the canals



mike
j9fd3s is offline  
Old 04-18-2003, 11:00 AM
  #9  
Super Moderator
 
Baldy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Posts: 5,425
Default

Originally Posted by j9fd3s' date='Apr 18 2003, 10:25 AM
we watched rescue 211 in amesterdamn and they were fishing cars out of the canals



mike
am I too slow to realize where this fits in?





and I'm guessing 211 is like 911? or were they just responding to calls made by complete idiots who can't dial striaght?
Baldy is offline  
Old 04-18-2003, 11:03 AM
  #10  
Senior Member
 
j9fd3s's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: California
Posts: 22,465
Default

Originally Posted by Baldy' date='Apr 18 2003, 08:00 AM
[quote name='j9fd3s' date='Apr 18 2003, 10:25 AM'] we watched rescue 211 in amesterdamn and they were fishing cars out of the canals



mike
am I too slow to realize where this fits in?





and I'm guessing 211 is like 911? or were they just responding to calls made by complete idiots who can't dial striaght? [/quote]

they dont have 911 in the rest of the world, its 211. i dont know why its relavent, um yeah



mike
j9fd3s is offline  


Quick Reply: Only In America!



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:36 PM.