drifter

The politically correct term for a ****** is "owner/operator"

FikseRxSeven

lol

drifter

Little Red riding hood is walking in the park with a basket for grandma when the big bad wolf jumps out from behind the bushes and says "Give me the basket". Red hiding hood lifts up her skirt and says, "**** you, eat me like the story says"

lane_change

Do you know how Cooper Wire was invented?









Two jews both bent over and picked up the same penny at the same time.

drifter

hehe

I like your avatar lane change, Mister Sparkala.

:bigthumg:

FikseRxSeven

that cooper wire thing was funny

Jerk_Racer

Jokes are only offensive when they are not funny. It's pretty obvious which are which.

UniqueTII

Tommy goes up to his parents and asks them : "Mom, dad, am I more black or more Jewish?" Dad replies: "That's a mighty strange question!" Mom says: "It sure is...why do you want to know?" Tommy replies: "Well, Billy down the street is selling his bike for $10, and I want to know whether to talk him down to $5 or wait until after dark and steal the ******."

1988RedT2

Ah, yes. But remember: You can make all the people laugh some of the time, and you can make some of the people laugh all of the time, but you can't make all the people laugh all the time. What's funny to me may not be funny to Saheed the Shiite Muslim, for instance. Come to think of it, Saheed probably not laugh much. Towel on his head too tight.

sunshine

The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of

why Jewish women like Chinese food so much.

The study revealed that this is due to the fact

that Won Ton spelled backwards is "Not Now".



There's a big controversy on the Jewish view of

when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is

not considered viable until after it graduates

from medical school.



> > > > > Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American

> > > > > Princess horror movie?

> > > > > A: It's called "Debbie Does Dishes".

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > Q: Why do Jewish Mothers make great parole

> > > > > officers?

> > > > > A: Because they never let anyone finish a

> > > > > sentence....

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > Q: What's a Jewish American Princess' favorite

> > > > > position?

> > > > > A: Facing Bloomingdale's....

> > > > >

> > > > > When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell

> > > > > her that her check came back, she replied, "So did

> > > > > my

> > > > > arthritis."

> > > > >

> > > > > A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how

> > > > > are you?"

> > > > > "Not too good," says the mother. "I've been

> > > > > very weak."

> > > > > The son says, "Why are you so weak?"

> > > > > She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."

> > > > > The man says, "That's terrible. Why haven't you

> > > > > eaten in 38 days?"

> > > > > The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my

> > > > > mouth to be filled with food if you should

> > > > > call...!!!."

> > > > >

> > > > > A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his

> > > > > mother he's been given a part in the school play.

> > > > > "Wonderful. What part is it?"

> > > > > The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish

> > > > > husband."

> > > > > The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the

> > > > > teacher you want a speaking part...!!!."

> > > > >

> > > > > Q - Where does a Jewish husband hide money from

> > > > > his wife?

> > > > > A - Under the vacuum cleaner.

> > > > >

> > > > > Q - How many Jewish mothers does it take to

> > > > > change a light bulb?

> > > > > A - (Sigh) Don't bother, I'll sit in the dark,

> > > > > I don't want to be a nuisance to anybody.

> > > > >

> > > > > Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the

> > > > > Jewish mother on the street and said, 'Lady, I

> > > > > haven't eaten in three days.'

> > > > > "Force yourself," she replied.

> > > > >

> > > > > Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler

> > > > > and a Jewish Mother?

> > > > > A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

> > > > >

> > > > > Jewish telegram: "Begin worrying. Details to

> > > > > follow."

> > > > >

> > > > > The year is 2012 and the United States of America

> > > > > has

> > > > > recently elected the first woman as well as the

> > > > > first

> > > > > Jewish President, a Susan Vineberg.

> > > > >

> > > > > So the President-Elect calls up her mother a few

> > > > > weeks after election day; "So ma, I assume you will

> > > > > be

> > > > > coming to my inauguration?"

> > > > >

> > > > > "I don't think so. It's a ten hour drive, and

> > > > > your father isn't as young as he used to be, and my

> > > > > gout is acting up again."

> > > > > "Don't worry about it Mom, I'll send Air Force One

> > > > > to

> > > > > pick you up and take you home. And a limousine will

> > > > > pick you up at your door...."

> > > > >

> > > > > "I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy, I don't

> > > > > know what on Earth I would wear."

> > > > >

> > > > > "Oh mom," replies Susan, "don't worry about it. I'll

> > > > > make sure you have a wonderful gown by Christian

> > > > > Dior."

> > > > >

> > > > > "Honey," Mom complains, "you know I can't eat those

> > > > > rich foods you and your friends like to eat"

> > > > >

> > > > > The President-to-be responds, "Don't worry Mom. The

> > > > > entire affair is going to be handled by the best

> > > > > caterer in New York, kosher all the way. Mom, I want

> > > > > you to come."

> > > > >

> > > > > So Mom agrees and so on January 21, 2013, Susan

> > > > > Vineberg is being sworn in as President of the

> > > > > United

> > > > > States of America. In the front row sits the new

> > > > > President's mother, who leans over to a Senator

> > > > > sitting next to her;

> > > > > "You see that woman over there with her hand on

> > > > > the Bible, becoming President of the United

> > > > > States?"

> > > > >

> > > > > The Senator whispers back, "Yes I do."

> > > > >

> > > > > And mom says, "Her brother's a doctor...."