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New Element - Govermentium

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Old Feb 10, 2004 | 01:59 PM
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banzaitoyota's Avatar
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A major research institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium.

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
Old Feb 10, 2004 | 02:22 PM
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Old Feb 10, 2004 | 02:44 PM
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Isn't there some other heaviest element called pentium? Heh, that's kinda funny. It's like 115 on the periodic table.
Old Feb 10, 2004 | 02:45 PM
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damn, I have too much science and not enough politics in my brain to appreciate the humor.
Old Feb 10, 2004 | 03:06 PM
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Bwahahahah
Old Feb 10, 2004 | 03:13 PM
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I think it was discovered by the same guys who created managementium.
Old Feb 10, 2004 | 03:32 PM
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lol we have that out here!
Old Feb 10, 2004 | 05:03 PM
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No protons? whaaaaa?
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