disclaimer: this may be a repost... but if so... sorry... I'm still laughing about it... so I don't care... :wiggle:



my g/f forwarded this to me today and I've never seen it before... thought someone might get some enjoyment out of it... I was laughing my ass off... https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...#>/biggrin.png



>Subject: MEN's rules!

>

>

>We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules

>from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all

>numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

>

>1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it

>down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about

>you leaving it down.

>

>1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we

>can find the perfect present yet again!

>

>1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

>

>1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the

>tides. Let it be.

>

>1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than

>short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that

>married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

>

>1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it

>that way.

>

>1. Crying is blackmail.

>

>1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do

>not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say

>it!

>

>1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a

>calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

>

>1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd

>be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with

>your dress?

>

>1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every

>question.

>

>1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's

>what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

>

>1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

>

>1. Check your oil! Please.

>

>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In

>fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

>

>1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us

>to act like soap opera guys.

>

>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to

>answer.

>

>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways

>makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

>

>1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

>

>1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it

>done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

>

>1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during

>commercials.

>

>

>1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

>

>1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two

> months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your

> girlfriends.

>

>1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,

>for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have

>no idea what mauve is.

>

>1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

>

>1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of

>mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

>

>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like

>nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the

>hassle.

>

>1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer

>you don't want to hear.

>

>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.

>Really.

>

>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to

>discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster

>trucks.

>

>1. You have enough clothes.

>

>1. You have too many shoes.

>

>1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or

>some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying

>anyway.)

>

>1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz

>together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

>

>1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

>

>1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch

>tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

>

>1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

What's mauve?

lol thats a good one

"1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways

>makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. "

haha that's a good email i've got that before.

:bigok:

"really, we dont' mind, its like camping"

round is a shape, hahahah

I like #1, so true :bigok:

couldnt have said it better myself https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...IR#>/boink.gif