Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money.

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?

Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way.

Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine. I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.

Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?

 

me: hey you wanna play a game?



her: ok what game?



me: it's called pearl harbour



her: how do we play?



me: i lay on my back and you blow the **** outta me

 

Hey , (insert name) I hear there's gonna be a party in your mouth and we're all cumming.

Heard that one Friday...

 

hey baby, can i offer you a fish sandwich?







excuse me, but was your daddy a meat burgular? cause it looks like someone stole two big ole christmas hams and shoved them down the back of your dress.

 

my buddy are in an elivator,drunk as hell and this hot chick walks in and he say you like spider man eh, and she starts goin on about how much she likes it this was all because she was wearing a spider man tshirt

 

when me and my brother were going to chicago we saw the Dahm triplets on the plane. the best pickup lines we could think of were



So....have you seen garfield yet?



Have you tried these snackpacks!?

 

YES!!! The Pearl Harbor one works!!! Well, if by "works" i mean "gets me smacked."

 

 

This is more of a '**** off line' I was in a bar one night, when this hot little, tight assed, vixen walks up next to me and says, "hey, buy me a shot" My reply- Buy you a shot! Bitch i'll shoot you an elbow. Damn i wish i had that on tape, so i could watch in slow mo. Her reaction was worth a potential slap in the mouth. She stormed off, pissy faced. Then later, she had 4 shots of quervo sent to my table for me and a few friends with a note that said, "nice *****" I'm still wondering....who had the last laugh?

 

At our Christmas party at work, this cute girl and I were talking.



Her: Oh Kim how come you allways treat me so nice



Me: (Really drunk) Cause I wanna **** the **** out of you.





Lol conversation ended right there.