Two apples were baking in an oven. One apple turns to the other and says "Man it's getting hot in here"

The other apple says "AHHHHHHHHH A TALKING APPLE"

Three peanuts were walking down the street.







And one of them was assaulted...................................nut!

whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm???







the holocaust

3 strings walk into a bar. The first asks the bartender for a drink, and he responds "we don't serve you strings here." The second decides that if he asks politely, he might get a drink. So he goes to the bartender and says "Please, kind sir, if it isn't any trouble to you, could I quench my thirst with some of your fine spirits?" The bartender smiled, and said "get the hell out before I break out the shears." The second string bolted for the door. The third string gets all MacGyver thinking, goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot and messes up his hair a lot. He then goes to the bartender and asks, "could I get a drink?" The bartender responds, "hey, aren't you a string?" Then the string says, "No, I'm afraid not."







(a frayed knot......it's better verbally...whatever)

What did one GAY sperm say to the other gay sperm?





Where are we gonna find an egg in all this ****?

A Georgian couple (The country, not the state - Know for having bad hygeine habits) walks into a pet store. He husband says to the wife...Honey, its our annyversary, you can have anything you want from here. She takes her time a looks around for a while, then she grabs a skunk and says "this is what I want". The husband says ok, but "what are you gonna do with the skunk?" She says "Well I'm gonna put it down my pants of course!" The husband responds..."but what about the smell?" She anwsers, "if it dies, it dies"

AFRAID KNOT!!

HAhahaha!

What did one GAY say to the other at the bar?



Mind if I push your Stool In?

What's better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics?





Not being retarded.





I'm going to hell first.